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kaigouFor whatever reason, the past year or two I’ve been reading a lot more that falls (to some degree) into the category of romance -- I don’t mean ‘category romance’, or the specific genre, just that even the mainstream fiction I’ve been reading contains a very strong romance subplot -- if the primary plot isn’t a romance itself. Rather peculiar, but then again, maybe it’s simply that this is where a lot of the writing is happening that also happens to appeal to me. Though I should qualify that, for those of you worried this means I’m going soft and mushy: what I particularly like about romance plots/subplots is not the romance, but the stage during which there is romantic potential, very little actual. Or perhaps I should say, I prefer the denial stage: when you have chemistry in one sense and avoidance in another, whether this be in the pre-relationship area or the relationship+conflict area. (I retain my dislike/disinterest for writers who conflate intimacy with sexuality, though, because that just isn’t how people always tick.)
This is ostensibly a discussion/critique of Totally Captivated, a Korean manhwa that’s up to its 5th volume (and will therefore contain spoilers through volume 5, chapter 35), but first I’m going to explain the attitude/observations I’ve had that cause my reaction to TC itself. Mostly, I guess, to place it in context as a romance sub/plot, even if (technically) it stands outside the Japanimanga traditions of uke/seme (in M/M relationships) as well as separate from the western AlphaMale romance stereotypes. It’s still squarely within romance, regardless of cultural base, and I think to some degree our interpretations of, tastes for, preferences about, the fine lines we tread in romance aren’t cultural so much as just part of being human. But I’ll get to TC itself, in a bit. First...
It’s hard to avoid the romantic sub/plot breed (in any genre, it seems) of the Alpha Male (or, in the japanimanga subculture, the ‘seme’; in M/M, the ‘pitcher’). Most writers -- okay, there are a few exceptions but I’ve figured out who they are and I avoid them now -- but most writers are aware that relationships of any sort have a handful of basic stages. There’s the introduction stage, which is usually somewhat platonic in most general-genre stories all the way up to lurve!lust!omg! at first sight if the genre-mix leans heavily towards a strong romantic element. Then there’s the dancing stage, dunno what else to call it, when both characters are starting to get the idea that they’re attracted and/or feeling emotions, but do the back-and-forth as a result of self-doubt, past history, current events keeping-them-apart, whatever. In stories where ‘romance’ is one of the major genre labels, the third step of the get-together is often where the story ends (barring any sequels). Every now and then a writer has the guts, or a good-enough plotline, to carry past the HEA and into the after-the-after, where reality intrudes, there’s conflicts, things aren’t so perfect. Or maybe it’s just that the world is once again in danger of being snuffed out and our intrepid pair must deal with it, etc etc, usually with some parallel emotional in-relationship conflict thrown in.
Concerning this back-and-forth tension-building aspect in romantic subplots -- I think writers know that for any readers hooked on the emotional context (as opposed to action or plot or theme, whatever), that the romantic/sexual tension is a big page-turner. That means there’s got to be some reason these two characters don’t fall straight into HEA, even if they did fall straight into the sack; even in stories where there’s no sack involved, there’s still an emotional connection that has to be denied, deflected, whatever, during this second stage. Gotcha.
The problem? Sometimes it seems as though some writers aren’t willing, or able, to bring themselves to create a protagonist with issues strong enough to genuinely cause avoidance/deflection: like in stories where the sack appears in the first chapter, lust!, omg!, passion!, etc, the writer works so hard at creating a conflation between ‘psychological intimacy’ and ‘sexual intimacy’ that when the protagonist balks, it’s really not believable. “I don’t want to be vulnerable,” the character says, but it’s pretty ridiculous because the author’s already made it clear that the character was pretty much all-types-of-intimacy already if only by virtue of the authorial insistence on making sexual/emotional the same.
Yeah, so people do balk after being a bit too open or honest but a) we don’t, especially sexually aware/experienced humans, automatically confer emotional intimacy as part-and-parcel of sexual intimacy (fuckbuddies, anyone?), and b) when we do leap into intimacy and then backpedal like mad, we’re often aware that we look like idiots in doing so. (And if we aren’t, I’d hope we all have friends close enough to say, “you’re acting like some twit-brained teeny cheerleader, dude, you slept with the guy, he likes you, you like him, freaking shut up and get over whatever your hang-up is.”)
So. Something must prevent the two interests from being permanently interested. Fair enough. This is where the ‘seme/semi’ issue comes in, for me: a writer who can’t/won’t create a character willing to be a bad guy in his own right ends up having to dump all the bad-guy (that is, “bad in the sense of preventing the HEA”) aspects onto the other character... and that other is invariably the Alpha/Seme. Instead of a protag who says, “I’m genuinely not certain this is a good idea for reasons A, B, or C,” (however rational or not) -- which is, at heart, a situation where the brakes are being applied by the reader’s main POV character and, this is important to note, in a story where the romantic plot is pushing a lot of the general plot and therefore the (average) reader’s page-turning interest is in getting to that HEA... are you following that?
If the reader is pushing towards the HEA, to have a POV protag who moves away from the HEA is to have a protag who may not be sympathetic to readers -- at least, not sympathetic in the hands of a less mature/less skillful writer. (Usually the result, then, is the reader wanting to bonk the protag over the head for being moronically obstinate for no particular reason other than diffused insecurity or, uh, just general stupidity, much like a good friend’s reaction. Our friends are often less sympathetic to our fears because we cannot fully communicate the depths, history, reasons and so on; the difference in fiction is that a good writer should be able to communicate these such that we don’t throw the protag, or the book, against the wall in frustration and exasperation.)
Given that what seems like a lot of writers out there aren’t always willing to push their POV-protag into being a genuine, independent obstacle for the final HEA-point, this means the love-interest has to do it. That’s where you get stuff like the alt-protag being all controlling but coming off as just abusive, or running hot and cold, or treating the pov-protag like crap (even if later we’re told “s/he acts that way because s/he cares, y’know, and is, uh, just kinda stunted about it”). It’s where the alt-protag treads the dangerous ground of non-con, as if s/he (I write s/he to be fair, but most often the alpha/seme is male, older, and quite often taller/bigger/more muscled to boot, more on that in a bit) can just mindread the pov-protag-uke and know that this kind of sexual intimacy (or any intimacy) is exactly what the pov-protag is just dying for.
Get into the fantasy stream of romance-blends, and that’s where you find the seme-protag with extrapowerful sense of smell -- “I can tell you’re turned on, you smell like it!” or acute senses or literal mind-reading or whatever. To me, that remains borderline, if not outright, non-consensual, because most experienced at least somewhat self-aware adults are cognizant that being sexually turned on does not predicate being willing to be intimate. This forceful “I know what you really want” also requires we ignore that one may be intimate on a physical level but retain the right to keep emotional or psychological intimacy out of the equation -- it removes the pov-protag’s ability/power to stave off the HEA via refusing to take that final, emotional step into complete oblivion, err, conubial bliss.
(The exception and/or free-pass is to those pov-protags who are sexually, socially, or emotionally ‘virgins’ in the sense of not having the experience to understand this distinction, but for all that, I can’t think of any stories with strong romantic sub/plots in which such inexperienced pov-protags figure out the hard way that being naked together does not immediately lead to joy-peace-happiness in all things relationship-wise. Then again, most romance sub/plots are kinda setting their foundation on this entire conflation, so I guess they’re not likely to wreck it by pointing out the major flaw, hunh.)
Anyway. Story after story, the pov-protag means well, falls for the alt-protag, maybe even recognizes the sensations of luuuurve way earlier, may make a slight show of being skittish but one kiss and a bit of that amazing! hawt! nookie and the pov-protag is just putty in the alt-protag’s stern, cold, controlling, overprotective, overbearing, what-have-you hands -- with the caveat that in many (less-skillfully written) stories of this breed, the alt-protag’s badness is author-designed purely for the sake of causing the pov-protag to be happy, sad, emo, happy, sad, emo, etc and thereby creating the illusion of a chemistry-laden dance. Which means that when things do, by whatever further author-designed tricks, move into the HEA stage, the pov-protag isn’t just a manipulated, inexperienced, naive twit who got jerked around for a hundred-plus pages, s/he is also a manipulated, rationalizing, self-deceptive moron who uses the alt-protag’s earlier abuse/inconsistency as twisted expressions of love.
What’s lying underneath that, however, is a simple critique that if you try to rewrite the story from the seme-protag’s POV, it just doesn’t hold up. The motivation isn’t complex (”I liked you and didn’t know how to show it”), or the reasoning is weak (”I was mean because I saw you talking to some guy who wasn’t me”), or just plain nonsensical (”I’m just like that”).
(I’m waiting for the day when some strong pov/uke/fem-protag replies, well, you see that door about to slam you in the face? I’m just like that. Get lost.)
Alright, granted, I can allow that a lot of these types of the romance sub/plot are really just wish-fulfillment, a sort of allowing oneself to become a neutral, non-powerful party: it creates an excuse. “I can’t help it, s/he seduced me, I was powerless to stop it,” except in this case it’s powerless to prevent falling in love (that being considered the same as ‘getting nekkid’). Where the pov-protag never actually does anything, if you stop and really look at these storylines; the pov-protag is too busy jumping when the seme-protag says jump, and then plummeting into rejection based on such inconsistent evidence/behavior, and probably (depending on the rating/audience) launched into sexual/ecstasy at just one touch/glance/word from the seme-protag, even if the pov-protag started the scene insistent s/he would stand strong.
(If you ever have a chance, read the opening act of Richard III, yes, the one by Shakespeare. It’s when Richard finishes his famous soliloquy -- “now is the winter of our discontent” -- and turns to find Anne approaching, leading the procession for her father’s body. A father, not-so-coincidentally, that Richard -- according to Shakespeare’s sources -- was supposed to have killed. Unh-hunh. When the scene begins, she’s spitting nails at Richard, with what appears to be quite righteous indignation. By the end of the scene? He’s not just proposed... she’s accepted. Say what? The scene is absolutely, completely, totally devoid of character logic, and it’s possibly one of the hardest scenes in all of Shakespeare’s plays not because it’s traumatic or pivotal but because it makes No. Freaking. Sense. Read it, and you’ll see what seems to be 90% of the Alpha-Seme breed of romance sub/plots from the uke/protag pov, wrapped up into a few hundred lines. “Asshole, asshole, oh, maybe you’re not so bad, oh, you did that because you love me, oh, that makes it all right, so now I love you, too...” Bolt the HEA to this point, and send that puppy out, the story’s done. Egawdz.)
About the pov-protag being “helpless” or “powerless” against the seme-protag... one sleeper sort of romance that pairs an easy-going seme-protag (who is also, somewhat unconventionally, the pov character) with an extremely headstrong uke-alt-protag who adamantly refuses to allow/display the vulnerability required to admit he likes or wants to be with anyone, in any way (combined with a very strong self-reliant personality). Early on, the seme-protag realizes that their (so far only platonic) friendship is one of the few the uke-protag values; the seme-protag threatens to leave, and goes so far as to define his actions as blackmail. That is, if the uke-protag doesn’t want to lose this rare friendship, the uke-protag must also give in and be sexually intimate, as well.
It’s a strange action, since it posits the pov character as a bad-guy, to the degree that he knows he’s being manipulative... but down the road a bit, the pov-protag explains that he did so because he knew the uke-protag required an excuse. That it would be totally out of character for the alt-protag to confess he has feelings (of love, or sexual), and that the only way the alt-protag will accept closing the distance is if he can rationalize it to himself as something out of his control, as something he doesn’t have a choice in, because the alternative would be worse. Very few stories I’ve read have seme-protags that bluntly honest (and in some ways, believeable on a human level) about a motivation for manipulating another, let alone for effectively provoking/causing or in this case, setting it up for the uke-protag to allow himself the self-delusion/illusion of being powerless.
I mention that because that story taught me that such can be done, that we can see a manipulative pov-protag as sympathetic, though I think in some ways this is partly because the pov-protag is fully aware from the get-go that his actions may, down the line, destroy the very relationship he’s trying to blackmail/coax the uke-protag into. At some point -- and he reminds himself of this a number of times -- the uke-protag is probably going to hit a limit and decide it’s time to stop lying to himself about his concession of power, stop rationalizing, and walk away; I think it’s the seme-protag’s inner battle between “if this is all I’ll ever get, then I guess I’ll take this as better than nothing” versus “is this really the best for/what’s wanted by the one I love? if I truly loved, would I do this?” It’s risky, possibly abusive, and yet both sympathetic and believeable.
Plus, for me, it also tells me as a reader that this seme-protag has a pretty good handle on the alt-protag’s personality: but then, is such perceptivity to be used as means to manipulate another, or is understanding someone on that level just a step along the way to the HEA? If someone knows you well enough, has you figured out, well enough to manipulate you, does this mean they’re working against you, or are they working for you towards a common goal that suits you both? I like the gray areas. Excuse me. Ahem. Carrying on.
Okay, about Totally Captivated. The official teaser says:
Jiho suggests that Ewon work for Mookyul -- and Jiho’s motivation is both clear and believable, in that he’s dating a filthy-rich-movie-star-handsome guy and wants Ewon to burn up in jealousy; Ewon accepts/agrees to work the job (with no pay, at that!) purely because he doesn’t want to get on the bad side of the mafia and he sure as hell doesn’t want to get the crap beaten out of him again. Okay, so far, everyone’s motivation and behavior makes sense.
It also makes sense that Ewon -- who is a player to some degree, but he’s not what I’d call a malicious player, someone who just wants to rack up the notches on the bedpost. It’s more like he’s just... well, lonely, but also unwilling to make a connection with those people who are around him. Time and again he’s shown turning down his best friend’s proposals, on the pretense that he’s not a catcher and won’t be the bottom to his friend’s equally-strong preference for topping. The exchange is repeated often enough, here and there, that I started to suspect Ewon’s excuses weren’t a genuine disinclination so much as a good-enough excuse for keeping one more person at arm’s length. His willingness/interest in playing around seems more tied to recognizing a need for human affection but that one-night-stands are the easiest way to get that without emotional strings attached (although when he first narrates this about himself, he describes it just as a bad case of incessant curiosity).
After various trials (and some hysterical ones at that) while Ewon’s working as the office’s janitor-errand-boy-cook, Mookyul gradually becomes more and more fascinated by Ewon, for two reasons. The first is that he can’t stop thinking he knows Ewon from somewhere, but he’s not sure where, exactly. The second is that Ewon walks the edge of blatant attraction to Mookyul -- he’s well aware of Mookyul’s good looks, even if he’s not so sure about Mookyul’s personality -- yet he refuses to act on it. Much of that is because Jiho’s around, and while Ewon recognizes he doesn’t have strong feelings for Jiho anymore, he still doesn’t want to see that look of hurt on Jiho’s face. He might not be in love, but he does care.
It turns out, eventually, that Mookyul and Ewon met as children in a rather disastrous send-up that resulted in Mookyul quitting school (after beating Ewon up, for the first time, heh) -- and Mookyul declares that Ewon ‘owes’ him. For the emotional trauma Mookyul felt, for being the impetus that caused Mookyul to head out into the snow on his sixth-grade lonesome, for the fact that Ewon remembers little of the incident? Whatever it is, Mookyul’s price is sex, and Ewon reluctantly agrees...
Here’s where I think I first realized that Hajin Yoo, the author, isn’t your average meet-love-happy seme/uke stereotyper. When Mookyul thinks he’s gotten Ewon to agree to sex (despite the fact that Mookyul and Jiho are currently an item), he’s pleased with himself, and ready to go -- and in fact, it appears he’s even set up the conflict to force someone’s hand, be that Ewon’s or Jiho’s. (It’s not really clear.) Ewon, though -- despite internal thoughts that recognize he is attracted to Mookyul on a base/sexual level -- treats the situation with a partly-resigned, partly-exasperated, “well, fine, let’s get this over with.” I say Yoo isn’t the usual calibre of author because not once does she conflate sexual with emotional: Ewon may be sexually interested, but emotionally he’s pretty much not-there. For him, it’s a physical act, and an enjoyable one, but it doesn’t carry the emotional context that it seems to be carrying for Mookyul. His only stipulation is that Jiho should never know, and that seems only because he doesn’t want to hurt Jiho yet again.
Naturally (because the world deserves conflict), Jiho walks in on them. Short version is that Mookyul offers to dump Jiho, Ewon gets pissed that Mookyul would just throw away someone, Mookyul makes it clear he doesn’t care one way or another, and the story ends up with Jiho later telling Mookyul that he didn’t actually care about Mookyul, that his entire purpose was to make Ewon jealous. Mookyul, naturally, feels offended and used; Ewon’s reaction is to try and talk Jiho into apologizing, taking it back.
But no, Jiho knows the truth and he’s got to get closure, and then move along -- but before he does, he tells Ewon that he could put up with Ewon’s infidelity for only so long before he just couldn’t take it anymore. Jiho says, “Why do you hold out your hand, but run away every time I try to catch it? Haven’t you ever met someone you truly cared for? Don’t tell me you never met that one person you couldn’t do without...” it’s only later, in his own place and thinking back, that Ewon admits he can’t. Because what could be more frightening, he asks himself, than risking everything on one person?
A few other details about Ewon: he’s 22, like Mookyul and Jiho, and a senior in college (a fellow classmate of Jiho’s in the economics department). He’s on scholarship; he mentions having held down 5 different part-time jobs at once to pay for his schooling. He’s able to work for Mookyul’s office for free only because of scholarship money tiding him over, but when that runs out, he’s facing the question of how to extricate himself from the mafia and be able to pay rent and tuition. Although in the flashback childhood segment, Ewon recalls telling Mookyul -- an orphan -- that he’s also an orphan, he qualifies this by admitting internally that he wasn’t... but as far as he was concerned, he might as well have been (or something to that extent).
Somewhere, too, back in Ewon’s past, something happened, and this is possibly one of the only times I can really complain about the official translation. In the official version, Ewon tells Mookyul, “I can’t really remember much of when we met, thanks to that near-death incident you gave me” (I guess talking about the beating Mookyul gave him as a kid). In the scanlation version, however, the line goes more like, “I can’t really remember much about my childhood, after a near-death incident I had.” The first version may make sense in light of Ewon’s comments that Mookyul did beat the crap out of him, but there’s another point farther down (after realizing how they first met) in which Mookyul demands that Ewon repeat what he’d said when they’d parted as kids, as Mookyul was leaving the school grounds. (Ewon had followed him, yelling, “come back, you’ve got to come back, I’ll be waiting for you, right here!”)
Ewon asks himself, what was Mookyul talking about? And then there’s a single frame of what looks like a kid’s arm in a winter jacket, stretched out, palm up. There are speech bubbles around it, saying, “is that a kid in there?” and “is he alive?” ... and that’s the extent of the teaser we get about what may’ve happened. Ewon doesn’t talk about it, doesn’t ruminate on it, doesn’t even bring it up; he seems determined to live on his own two feet and he don’t need nobody, thanks, he’ll manage his own way, somehow. He certainly doesn’t wallow in self-pity.
What makes Ewon’s characterization so delicious, as a reader, is that he’s as much a study in contrasts as any full-fleshed literary creation, and a lot of that has to do with the author carefully creating a dichotomy between what Ewon does/says to others, versus what he keeps to himself. When I loaned the first three volumes to a Korean friend to read, she commented that Ewon would never make it in Korean society; he’s too stupid. I’m not sure “stupid” is the right word for it; I wouldn’t even say he’s naive. I think it’s more a matter of being willfully ignorant, a kind of simple refusal to acknowledge certain things and thus reduce their impact, somehow.
For instance, when one of the mafia-guys is being extorted by a “girlfriend” to pay off her debts, the guy asks Ewon -- who now handles the general accounting & petty cash for the office -- to get the several thousand dollars out of the accounts, and he’ll pay it back in a week, before Mookyul finds out. Ewon knows the guy’s being taken, and while he won’t steal/take the money himself, he compromises by turning over the accounting temporarily to the mafia-guy, who had done it prior to Ewon’s arrival. It’s not that Ewon falls for the girl’s pity-story, or has any illusions about the money, but he’s just not willing to get involved to the point of saying anything. He’ll give way, because it’s easier -- just as he gives way to Mookyul after being harrassed and pestered by Mookyul over and over. Fine, fine, here, have what you want.
Which brings up one of the other rare times I think the scanlation got it better than the official: after the Jiho/Mookyul breakup, Ewon quits the office. When the guys ask Mookyul why Ewon won’t be around anymore, in the official version, one of them says something like, “his sweet personality was growing on me.” In the scanlation, the line is, “he and his subservient personality were starting to grow on me.” There’s a big difference there, and looking over Ewon’s interactions with Mookyul and the crew, he does come across as very subservient. He cleans, he cooks, he rarely takes a stand on anything, preferring to just slip back and give way, letting the obstacle roll over him. If you take all that at face-value, then sure, it seems as though the one break in Ewon’s stereotype is that he’s insistent he’s a natural-born pitcher with no interest in being a catcher/uke -- a definite break considering how submissive he comes across in nearly every interaction, including with Jiho (who is far more emotionally forceful and/or straightforward than Ewon).
The turning point is that Jiho/Mookyul breakup, followed by Ewon and Jiho having a final goodbye, in the rain. Ewon comes down with the flu & doesn't show up again for work; meanwhile Mookyul’s crew are getting on his case having discovered that despite his generosity to them, he’d never paid Ewon a penny. All this time Mookyul’s been fascinated by Ewon’s apparent contradictions, but it’s his own men who really throw the final switch for him, when he realizes that Ewon’s become a bit of an office mascot for them. (They make a point of turning off the TV and telling their own boss to keep it down & not interrupt when Ewon announces he’s got to study for a test!) Mookyul can't let it go. I'm not sure whether he's unwiling to let Ewon's departure with Jiho, post-breakup-scene, to be left as the last word, or whether he just can't get Ewon out of his head, or if he's truly infatuated and refuses to accept that Ewon's left -- whatever the reasons for his display of disgruntlement, he still forces his men to show him where Ewon lives, and thereby discovers Ewon out sick with bad fever.
The next thing Ewon knows, he wakes up in Mookyul’s expensive high-rise apartment -- and his own tiny deep-in-the-slums lease has been closed, his stuff’s moved out, and he’s now living with Mookyul... and as far as Mookyul’s concerned, having “saved” Ewon from that danger known as the common cold, Ewon has to live with him. Ewon, of course, sees no reason why this would logically follow, demanding of Mookyul, “who do you think you are, to tell me what to do? you’re not my family or my lover,” to which Mookyul explains that’s exactly what he’s suggesting, that they become lovers.
Up to this point, Mookyul’s characterization can be summed up like so: imperious, arrogant, overbearing, belligerent, demanding. But like Ewon’s secret side, it’s only from asides and throwaway comments that Mookyul’s generosity and utmost loyalty is revealed. For the mafia-guy who steals the money (while doing the books), Mookyul says he knew full well the guy was stealing even when he was doing the accounting regularly, but Mookyul looked the other way because he knew of the mafia-guy’s ill mother. Mookyul doesn’t think twice about handing a large sum of cash to a former employee, to help him get a new start back in his hometown with his wife and infant child. And his own employees make noises about his generosity towards them, as well (which makes Mookyul’s stinginess towards Ewon especially glaring).
Mookyul never returned to school after quitting on that winter’s day, but at some point not long after that, he attempted to pick a man’s pocket, and that man turned out to be the credit union’s CEO, Chairman Lee... who not only caught him in the act, but offered him a place to stay, as well. It’s through the Chairman’s efforts that Mookyul did eventually get a highschool education, with private tutors. He does demonstrate some aptitude with computers and business, as befits the adopted son of a credit union’s CEO, but otherwise his formal education (especially the socialization aspect) is severely lacking. Ewon’s friend, Dohoon, calls Mookyul “an oversized grade-schooler,” and Ewon has to admit that the description is pretty accurate: emotionally, Mookyul remains pretty immature, though he wears a disinterested, arrogant expression in public.
For the most part, through to about the third volume, the sexual chemistry -- or perhaps just plain curiosity on each character’s part -- has stayed somewhat consistent, but in terms of their dynamic, it’s pretty much Mookyul running roughshod over Ewon, who swings between running like hell and giving a resigned shrug and saying, “fine, if that’s what you want, get it over with” (with unvoiced but likely internal plans for running afterwards, then). If you ignored a lot of the tiniest tells, here and there, you’d probably think the storyline is going to follow the usual seme-protag being the bad-guy obstacle (in this case, by just plain being so all-out unsufferable and arrogant that he’s just unbearable and in turn forces the uke-protag to flee); that is, until a few details when Mookyul joins Ewon and his classmates for a few beers.
After some tense moments during the introduction -- during which Mookyul is his usual imperious, in-your-face, abrasive personality -- the group settles down and Mookyul (who really has nothing to contribute) sits there and watches. He realizes, privately, that Ewon’s having a great deal of fun with his friends: “Is this what ‘normal’ people my age do?” He has no idea. His confusion/uncertainty is compounded by the news that Ewon isn’t just a good student, he’s the top-ranked student in his department, with straight-A’s. For someone who managed a high school education only through private tutors, the news seems to shock Mookyul and probably intimidate him (even if he doesn’t call it that, in so many words).
Now, here’s where Yoo got it right that other writers get it wrong (or don’t even get it): most of the time, we don’t really get any insight into Mookyul’s thought processes, or we only get the barest sarcastic remarks. But right on the tail of this half-admitted confusion/uncertainty, Mookyul rudely breaks into the students’ conversation by asking, “so, are all of you faggots?” (I normally wouldn’t use that word, but I believe he does in the comics, and you just can’t get much more rude than that, as an opening gambit.) Needless to say, Ewon’s friends are a bit taken aback; they want to like Mookyul because he’s with Ewon, but, well, he’s not very likeable, and they’re having trouble seeing what the attraction could be.
But what I realized is that all the previous times in which Mookyul abruptly says or does something so freaking arrogant, so unbelievably self-centered or overbearing or bellicose, that this specific incident may exist to re-cast those previous incidents in a new light: when Mookyul is out of his depth, and is intimidated, his first reaction is not just to strike out, but to do so in any way that will throw the other person/people far off their center, as well. He can find his own balance only by knocking others off theirs -- and honestly, that may be a childish, immature, insecure thing to do, but it’s also oh-so-very-human, and to some degree, therefore a sympathetic character flaw. For the first time, I didn’t see this arrogant seme-protag as pushing buttons and laughing when offense is taken, but as someone so insecure about his own value/intelligence/ability that he’s actually somewhat pitiful. He just doesn’t have a clue.
It's especially telling that when Mookyul does end up getting in Ewon's friends' faces, trying to start a fight (with full knowledge that he could easily kick their asses and everyone else's without breaking a sweat), that he doesn't accuse them of looking down on him because he's uneducated, which might be a truth. Instead, he says, "I can tell what you rich little snots are thinking. But someone like me, who lives like a bum, wouldn't care." Except that he's the only one at the table (from what I understand) who's wearing tailored haute couture, who drove his own Mercedes to the bar, who has his own high-rise condo, who has a well-paying job. He calls himself a bum because it's the one detail that would not be true, and demonstrably so, and therefore is the one challenge that wouldn't actually bother him.
In the course of a first read, it seems like Mookyul's being his usual abrasive, let's-fight-now, belligerent angry self, but re-reading, the scene just gets bigger for me in terms of Mookyul's characterization in what's rather subtle, literary-wise. That is, there's so much fuss and noise associated with a high-emotion angry scene like the ones Mookyul produces without a second thought, that the underlying message is easily ignored. (And that's just one more reason I think the author rocks, for using it to sneak sympathetic characterization past without being heavy-handed on the below-surface dynamics.)
As the story continues apace, there does come a break in the pattern. They do argue, and Ewon holds his own but backs down, gives up, whatever -- it doesn’t come across as him being weak so much as insisting that he doesn’t care that much, so it’s not worth any more effort. Both Mookyul and Ewon refer, at different points, to the fact that Mookyul’s primed for Ewon to jet at the first opportunity, and although Ewon doesn’t seem to like Mookyul mentioning it, it’s not like he really disagrees. It’s the truth, after all. Ewon may be subservient in social situations, and protective of friends/weaker-types like his ex-lover Jiho, but at the core he’s a self-reliant, independent, downright self-isolated person, isolated in the sense of refusing to let anyone near, or in, on an emotional level. For Mookyul, whose understanding of relationships seems to be based more on a “I do this for you, and you therefore feel that for me, in return”, Ewon’s obstinant refusal to play the game has got to be baffling and exasperating. In one argument, Mookyul hollers at him, “You don’t want to date, you don’t want to live together, you don’t want to have sex, so what the hell do you wanna do when you’re with me!?”
If you put together that angry cry with the moment of intimidated surprise in the bar, and then follow along the story to the point where Ewon lays down the law, the subversive/reversal in Yoo’s characterizations becomes clear, and I get the absolute biggest joy out of it. (I think she should be required reading, possibly, for romance writers: how to create conflict in romance involving an alpha male who...turns out to not be.) Because when a final line is crossed and Ewon decides that’s his limit of what he’ll put up with, I can’t really say he “grows a backbone”. That would be denying what’s really a very strong personality in every scene prior, if a willfully-sequestered personality (and not even from willful ignorance so much, I think, as from a general disinclination to get involved, at all, because involvement equals emotional ties, and whatever it was in his past, he won’t tie himself down to anyone, seeing it as the biggest risk of all, a kind of self-oblivion). No, it’s more that the break-up scene gives Ewon a lengthier chance to display what previously has only shown up in slight flashes: when he decides to cut someone to the quick, he’s very perceptive about what exactly to say and do. Almost brutal, but with a great deal more finesse than Mookyul has ever possessed.
All too often, the active/pitcher/seme/dominant whatever protag-half of the romance equation is also seen as the powerful half. You can go the ridiculous route with this, like the stereotypes so rampant in Japanimanga, where the character that’s older and taller is automatically the dominant partner (and the few stories with “younger/shorter seme” are much rarer and a sort of against-the-grain fetish). The het version, of course, is the big strong muscled Fabio with the slender, petite woman who only comes up to his shoulder (or less, if you’re going for broke) and at some point he’ll carry her, heft her around, basically treat her -- at least on a physical level -- like she’s almost literally a small child compared to his height/weight/strength. Running concurrent with those stereotypes, of course, are the expected characteristics: the powerful partner, the dominant partner, is the one who’s rich, who can provide, and perhaps as a benefit to being the one who has-so-much, can be cranky and arrogant and pushy and controlling. (It’s always the submissive/powerless partner who does the keeling-in, the giving-way, the apologizing, even the rationalizing; but what else does the uke-protag have to offer than a pretty smile and some good sex? It’s like there’s this logic that says, “if I give you a porsche, then of course you’ll put up with my temper tantrums and abrupt coldness, because otherwise, no porsche!” Or something.)
I mention that because if I’ve not made it clear, through the first five volumes or so, Ewon has played the quintessential uke: he’s fussed at times, he’s every now and then shown flashes of independence, but the overwhelming material power, and physical power (including height) of Mookyul have kept Ewon squarely in the uke-protag position, at least from a just-reading-to-enjoy perspective. But seeing Ewon slice Mookyul to the gut, and doing it efficiently and thoroughly, makes a lot of the previous dynamic suddenly not so obvious. The most recent scene, Ewon’s discovered Mookyul’s infidelities, and despite Mookyul doing all but calling him a hypcrite outright (referencing the way they’d re-met, thanks to Jiho), Ewon retorts he at least apologized and didn’t screw around on Mookyul. All along, when Mookyul’s particularly angry, he threatens with his fist (or makes to threaten) and that’s been enough to get Ewon to back down (although Ewon warned him against going so far as to actually hit, because Ewon won’t take that). In this argument, Ewon is determined to strike back, and he’s much more efficient about it. He says he’s going to stay with a friend, and why should Mookyul get upset? They’ll mess around, and Ewon’ll come back once he’s gotten off. Mookyul is enraged (and from the looks of the illustrations, quite hurt), which is when Ewon levels him, saying, “Should I tell you I love you, before I go?”
I went back through the previous volumes, starting with the chapter when Ewon wants to know about the Chairman but is being oblique about it, and Mookyul thinks Ewon wants to hear those three little words. The short of it is that Mookyul implies it, saying “my beloved fox,” and the like, until finally saying it bluntly, “I love you, Ewon Jung.” From there on, it’s Mookyul who says it, and actually says it repeatedly. I didn’t realize until going back, that not once did Ewon ever repeat the words back to him. However, Ewon did buy a very expensive present for Mookyul’s birthday, which to Mookyul seems to have been the equivalent of a declaration of love, seeing how Mookyul reacted just as he would’ve if he’d heard the words. That right there probably says a lot to you, dear reader, about just what Mookyul thinks constitutes “being in love”. But still, at no point had Ewon said it, so pulling out that line as a final devastation is, well, pretty much a devastation. That’s what I meant by Ewon holding an awful lot in abeyance, and really only showing the blades when he’s quite ready to go for the kill. If Mookyul is the thunder, Ewon is most definitely the lightening, because Mookyul may knock you down but it’s Ewon who scorches without mercy.
Getting back to the classic romance sub/plot stereotypes and the issues of powerful vs powerlessness, I’m really delighted in reading this story that it actually took me this many chapters to stop and realize (although I admit it was tickling my head before, I put in the category of “wouldn’t it be nice if...” instead of being certain it was coming). Basically, Yoo has taken the premise and dynamic of the standard romance plot of arrogant seme-protag and materially-weak, physically-weaker, personality-subservient uke-protag, and underneath it created the backbone of a story in which all that was seme is uke and what appeared uke is revealed as seme.
Some of the folks exchanging comments about this most recent chapter over on the Totally Captivated forum (and I highly recommend reading their comments as well for some insightful takes on the latest events) noted that Ewon really displayed a significant amount of maturity in handling the argument/break-up, far more than Mookyul, and that it was necessary, story-wise, for Ewon to finally lay down the law. (There's a fair number that aren't feeling too forgiving about Mookyul's less-than-truthful take on the situation, though, so if you have a soft spot for belligerent, privately-educated, noisy overgrown grade-schoolers, consider yourself warned!)
But I think Mookyul’s physical reaction in the course of the break-up scene was very telling, as well -- which first was a punch, but curiously enough when Ewon went for the kill, verbally, Mookyul's reaction wasn't to punch, but to slap -- which if you think about it, has some slightly different connotations. We tend to punch people when we want to hurt them, to knock them down; it seems to be instinct (in a wide number of cultures, from what I’ve seen) to slap when you’re offended/hurt. If you think about it, a slap isn’t as physically powerful as a punch requires, and most of the time you see a slap in literature or media, it’s a woman doing it. It’s most often an open-handed move, it doesn’t require the speed or precision of using fist and muscle, and the simple force of the swing can be enough to snap a person’s head to the side even when they’re taller and stronger than you. (My own theory is that somewhere in there is buried meanings that come from the simple physical act: when you punch someone, you’re shoving them back, it’s a “get away” kind of move. When you slap someone, it’s almost always across the face or cheek, with the palm carrying just a bit to the mouth: the meaning, then, isn’t “get away” but “shut up, stop saying that”. To me, whether or not the author sat down and critically considered the differences on a conscious level isn’t an issue; both were illustrated so there was some thought into drawing a punch versus drawing the gesture of a slap... and somewhere in there, perhaps, the author realized that Mookyul does not want Ewon to go away, to back off, but he does want Ewon to shut up, to be quiet, to stop saying those harsh things.
It’s often said that violence is the last refuge of the weak, which is why I think it’s especially important in this break-up scene that Mookyul does resort to violence, because he is the weak one in the relationship. He has taken the upper hand in deciding where and when and how Ewon goes to class and gets to the office, it’s his apartment, he gives Ewon a car, he provides a roof and a job and an income, and he decides when they’ll have sex (right up to and including some seriously borderline-noncon sex) and is always top when they do, and for all intents and purposes he’s been the dominant partner in everything. Except that, for all that, he is actually the powerless half of the partnership. Ewon, simply by dint of being able to walk away, is the one who really holds the power -- and I think the big reveal in that final scene is not that Ewon realizes he’s able to walk away: it’s that he realizes he doesn’t want to walk away... and has to, anyway, for the sake of his own principles. Casting back over the previous chapters, I think Mookyul has always been aware to some degree that he’s the powerless one of the two of them, that he’s given repeatedly (as best he can, as he understands ‘love’ and ‘giving’, however stunted) and yet he’s never truly gotten that final step into Ewon the way he feels he’s let Ewon into himself.
Two chapters covers this final evening and break-up, and that’s all it takes for Yoo to take the stereotypical seme-uke dynamic and rip it apart to show that underneath, the seme wasn’t really a seme. He’s the powerless*, perhaps even emotionally helpless but certainly emotionally immature and insecure, half of the dynamic, and all his theatrics and arrogance and rules laid down on Ewon have been nothing more than a lot of sound and fury to cover up that basic insecurity and uncertainty. Ewon, in contrast, has been uncertain about the danger of falling for Mookyul, and he may get annoyed, exasperated, sometimes just amused-exasperated, but he’s not truly been off his center at any point that I can recall. Then again, Ewon also has an iron-strong will when it comes to achieving his goals without anyone’s interference, without having to rely on anyone and without taking the risks of being hurt or let down. To realize that Mookyul has let him down, and that he gave a damn about it, shocks him to his core... but it doesn’t stop him from walking out that door, and it’s his ability to do so that doesn’t just reveal his maturity in declaring, and enforcing, a limit, but also his power in the relationship that he can, and does.
*ETA: I should probably clarify that I don't mean that Mookyul is weak in the personality/character sense; he's simply the powerless half of the relationship, and only as regards Ewon. Taking the relationship objectively, for all Mookyul's tyrannical demands, he's also the one giving everything, from roof to income to gifts to attention to words. With the exception of his birthday gift, there's not really anything else Ewon has given him in return, and in some ways Mookyul's sheer joy and surprise at the gift is almost heart-breaking, that he's willing to accept so little and put out so much effort to catch Ewon, keep Ewon, not let him go even when he knows Ewon's looking for a reason, a chance, to bolt. That's what I mean by powerless, within the relationship: Mookyul may control a lot of the trappings of their lives, but he isn't, ultimately, in control of the relationship's end anymore than he was genuinely in control of its beginning. For all his efforts to appear otherwise, the truth is that the relationship exists on Ewon's sufferance, not Mookyul's. That's what I mean by 'powerless'.
I’ve more to add, about the stereotypical dominant-protag’s arrogance and “I buy you things so you love me” kind of logic, and Yoo’s use of what is really an abusive situation (for Mookyul) that further explains and clarifies (and adds to the sympathetic element of) Mookyul’s understanding of relationships... but I’ll do that in the next post, or in the next day or so. Need to go put down the last bit of cork on the kitchen floor, and then to clean up the glue, seal the ends, and soon, we will have kitchen floor. Woot.
This is ostensibly a discussion/critique of Totally Captivated, a Korean manhwa that’s up to its 5th volume (and will therefore contain spoilers through volume 5, chapter 35), but first I’m going to explain the attitude/observations I’ve had that cause my reaction to TC itself. Mostly, I guess, to place it in context as a romance sub/plot, even if (technically) it stands outside the Japanimanga traditions of uke/seme (in M/M relationships) as well as separate from the western AlphaMale romance stereotypes. It’s still squarely within romance, regardless of cultural base, and I think to some degree our interpretations of, tastes for, preferences about, the fine lines we tread in romance aren’t cultural so much as just part of being human. But I’ll get to TC itself, in a bit. First...
It’s hard to avoid the romantic sub/plot breed (in any genre, it seems) of the Alpha Male (or, in the japanimanga subculture, the ‘seme’; in M/M, the ‘pitcher’). Most writers -- okay, there are a few exceptions but I’ve figured out who they are and I avoid them now -- but most writers are aware that relationships of any sort have a handful of basic stages. There’s the introduction stage, which is usually somewhat platonic in most general-genre stories all the way up to lurve!lust!omg! at first sight if the genre-mix leans heavily towards a strong romantic element. Then there’s the dancing stage, dunno what else to call it, when both characters are starting to get the idea that they’re attracted and/or feeling emotions, but do the back-and-forth as a result of self-doubt, past history, current events keeping-them-apart, whatever. In stories where ‘romance’ is one of the major genre labels, the third step of the get-together is often where the story ends (barring any sequels). Every now and then a writer has the guts, or a good-enough plotline, to carry past the HEA and into the after-the-after, where reality intrudes, there’s conflicts, things aren’t so perfect. Or maybe it’s just that the world is once again in danger of being snuffed out and our intrepid pair must deal with it, etc etc, usually with some parallel emotional in-relationship conflict thrown in.
Concerning this back-and-forth tension-building aspect in romantic subplots -- I think writers know that for any readers hooked on the emotional context (as opposed to action or plot or theme, whatever), that the romantic/sexual tension is a big page-turner. That means there’s got to be some reason these two characters don’t fall straight into HEA, even if they did fall straight into the sack; even in stories where there’s no sack involved, there’s still an emotional connection that has to be denied, deflected, whatever, during this second stage. Gotcha.
The problem? Sometimes it seems as though some writers aren’t willing, or able, to bring themselves to create a protagonist with issues strong enough to genuinely cause avoidance/deflection: like in stories where the sack appears in the first chapter, lust!, omg!, passion!, etc, the writer works so hard at creating a conflation between ‘psychological intimacy’ and ‘sexual intimacy’ that when the protagonist balks, it’s really not believable. “I don’t want to be vulnerable,” the character says, but it’s pretty ridiculous because the author’s already made it clear that the character was pretty much all-types-of-intimacy already if only by virtue of the authorial insistence on making sexual/emotional the same.
Yeah, so people do balk after being a bit too open or honest but a) we don’t, especially sexually aware/experienced humans, automatically confer emotional intimacy as part-and-parcel of sexual intimacy (fuckbuddies, anyone?), and b) when we do leap into intimacy and then backpedal like mad, we’re often aware that we look like idiots in doing so. (And if we aren’t, I’d hope we all have friends close enough to say, “you’re acting like some twit-brained teeny cheerleader, dude, you slept with the guy, he likes you, you like him, freaking shut up and get over whatever your hang-up is.”)
So. Something must prevent the two interests from being permanently interested. Fair enough. This is where the ‘seme/semi’ issue comes in, for me: a writer who can’t/won’t create a character willing to be a bad guy in his own right ends up having to dump all the bad-guy (that is, “bad in the sense of preventing the HEA”) aspects onto the other character... and that other is invariably the Alpha/Seme. Instead of a protag who says, “I’m genuinely not certain this is a good idea for reasons A, B, or C,” (however rational or not) -- which is, at heart, a situation where the brakes are being applied by the reader’s main POV character and, this is important to note, in a story where the romantic plot is pushing a lot of the general plot and therefore the (average) reader’s page-turning interest is in getting to that HEA... are you following that?
If the reader is pushing towards the HEA, to have a POV protag who moves away from the HEA is to have a protag who may not be sympathetic to readers -- at least, not sympathetic in the hands of a less mature/less skillful writer. (Usually the result, then, is the reader wanting to bonk the protag over the head for being moronically obstinate for no particular reason other than diffused insecurity or, uh, just general stupidity, much like a good friend’s reaction. Our friends are often less sympathetic to our fears because we cannot fully communicate the depths, history, reasons and so on; the difference in fiction is that a good writer should be able to communicate these such that we don’t throw the protag, or the book, against the wall in frustration and exasperation.)
Given that what seems like a lot of writers out there aren’t always willing to push their POV-protag into being a genuine, independent obstacle for the final HEA-point, this means the love-interest has to do it. That’s where you get stuff like the alt-protag being all controlling but coming off as just abusive, or running hot and cold, or treating the pov-protag like crap (even if later we’re told “s/he acts that way because s/he cares, y’know, and is, uh, just kinda stunted about it”). It’s where the alt-protag treads the dangerous ground of non-con, as if s/he (I write s/he to be fair, but most often the alpha/seme is male, older, and quite often taller/bigger/more muscled to boot, more on that in a bit) can just mindread the pov-protag-uke and know that this kind of sexual intimacy (or any intimacy) is exactly what the pov-protag is just dying for.
Get into the fantasy stream of romance-blends, and that’s where you find the seme-protag with extrapowerful sense of smell -- “I can tell you’re turned on, you smell like it!” or acute senses or literal mind-reading or whatever. To me, that remains borderline, if not outright, non-consensual, because most experienced at least somewhat self-aware adults are cognizant that being sexually turned on does not predicate being willing to be intimate. This forceful “I know what you really want” also requires we ignore that one may be intimate on a physical level but retain the right to keep emotional or psychological intimacy out of the equation -- it removes the pov-protag’s ability/power to stave off the HEA via refusing to take that final, emotional step into complete oblivion, err, conubial bliss.
(The exception and/or free-pass is to those pov-protags who are sexually, socially, or emotionally ‘virgins’ in the sense of not having the experience to understand this distinction, but for all that, I can’t think of any stories with strong romantic sub/plots in which such inexperienced pov-protags figure out the hard way that being naked together does not immediately lead to joy-peace-happiness in all things relationship-wise. Then again, most romance sub/plots are kinda setting their foundation on this entire conflation, so I guess they’re not likely to wreck it by pointing out the major flaw, hunh.)
Anyway. Story after story, the pov-protag means well, falls for the alt-protag, maybe even recognizes the sensations of luuuurve way earlier, may make a slight show of being skittish but one kiss and a bit of that amazing! hawt! nookie and the pov-protag is just putty in the alt-protag’s stern, cold, controlling, overprotective, overbearing, what-have-you hands -- with the caveat that in many (less-skillfully written) stories of this breed, the alt-protag’s badness is author-designed purely for the sake of causing the pov-protag to be happy, sad, emo, happy, sad, emo, etc and thereby creating the illusion of a chemistry-laden dance. Which means that when things do, by whatever further author-designed tricks, move into the HEA stage, the pov-protag isn’t just a manipulated, inexperienced, naive twit who got jerked around for a hundred-plus pages, s/he is also a manipulated, rationalizing, self-deceptive moron who uses the alt-protag’s earlier abuse/inconsistency as twisted expressions of love.
What’s lying underneath that, however, is a simple critique that if you try to rewrite the story from the seme-protag’s POV, it just doesn’t hold up. The motivation isn’t complex (”I liked you and didn’t know how to show it”), or the reasoning is weak (”I was mean because I saw you talking to some guy who wasn’t me”), or just plain nonsensical (”I’m just like that”).
(I’m waiting for the day when some strong pov/uke/fem-protag replies, well, you see that door about to slam you in the face? I’m just like that. Get lost.)
Alright, granted, I can allow that a lot of these types of the romance sub/plot are really just wish-fulfillment, a sort of allowing oneself to become a neutral, non-powerful party: it creates an excuse. “I can’t help it, s/he seduced me, I was powerless to stop it,” except in this case it’s powerless to prevent falling in love (that being considered the same as ‘getting nekkid’). Where the pov-protag never actually does anything, if you stop and really look at these storylines; the pov-protag is too busy jumping when the seme-protag says jump, and then plummeting into rejection based on such inconsistent evidence/behavior, and probably (depending on the rating/audience) launched into sexual/ecstasy at just one touch/glance/word from the seme-protag, even if the pov-protag started the scene insistent s/he would stand strong.
(If you ever have a chance, read the opening act of Richard III, yes, the one by Shakespeare. It’s when Richard finishes his famous soliloquy -- “now is the winter of our discontent” -- and turns to find Anne approaching, leading the procession for her father’s body. A father, not-so-coincidentally, that Richard -- according to Shakespeare’s sources -- was supposed to have killed. Unh-hunh. When the scene begins, she’s spitting nails at Richard, with what appears to be quite righteous indignation. By the end of the scene? He’s not just proposed... she’s accepted. Say what? The scene is absolutely, completely, totally devoid of character logic, and it’s possibly one of the hardest scenes in all of Shakespeare’s plays not because it’s traumatic or pivotal but because it makes No. Freaking. Sense. Read it, and you’ll see what seems to be 90% of the Alpha-Seme breed of romance sub/plots from the uke/protag pov, wrapped up into a few hundred lines. “Asshole, asshole, oh, maybe you’re not so bad, oh, you did that because you love me, oh, that makes it all right, so now I love you, too...” Bolt the HEA to this point, and send that puppy out, the story’s done. Egawdz.)
About the pov-protag being “helpless” or “powerless” against the seme-protag... one sleeper sort of romance that pairs an easy-going seme-protag (who is also, somewhat unconventionally, the pov character) with an extremely headstrong uke-alt-protag who adamantly refuses to allow/display the vulnerability required to admit he likes or wants to be with anyone, in any way (combined with a very strong self-reliant personality). Early on, the seme-protag realizes that their (so far only platonic) friendship is one of the few the uke-protag values; the seme-protag threatens to leave, and goes so far as to define his actions as blackmail. That is, if the uke-protag doesn’t want to lose this rare friendship, the uke-protag must also give in and be sexually intimate, as well.
It’s a strange action, since it posits the pov character as a bad-guy, to the degree that he knows he’s being manipulative... but down the road a bit, the pov-protag explains that he did so because he knew the uke-protag required an excuse. That it would be totally out of character for the alt-protag to confess he has feelings (of love, or sexual), and that the only way the alt-protag will accept closing the distance is if he can rationalize it to himself as something out of his control, as something he doesn’t have a choice in, because the alternative would be worse. Very few stories I’ve read have seme-protags that bluntly honest (and in some ways, believeable on a human level) about a motivation for manipulating another, let alone for effectively provoking/causing or in this case, setting it up for the uke-protag to allow himself the self-delusion/illusion of being powerless.
I mention that because that story taught me that such can be done, that we can see a manipulative pov-protag as sympathetic, though I think in some ways this is partly because the pov-protag is fully aware from the get-go that his actions may, down the line, destroy the very relationship he’s trying to blackmail/coax the uke-protag into. At some point -- and he reminds himself of this a number of times -- the uke-protag is probably going to hit a limit and decide it’s time to stop lying to himself about his concession of power, stop rationalizing, and walk away; I think it’s the seme-protag’s inner battle between “if this is all I’ll ever get, then I guess I’ll take this as better than nothing” versus “is this really the best for/what’s wanted by the one I love? if I truly loved, would I do this?” It’s risky, possibly abusive, and yet both sympathetic and believeable.
Plus, for me, it also tells me as a reader that this seme-protag has a pretty good handle on the alt-protag’s personality: but then, is such perceptivity to be used as means to manipulate another, or is understanding someone on that level just a step along the way to the HEA? If someone knows you well enough, has you figured out, well enough to manipulate you, does this mean they’re working against you, or are they working for you towards a common goal that suits you both? I like the gray areas. Excuse me. Ahem. Carrying on.
Okay, about Totally Captivated. The official teaser says:
The mafia threatens Ewon into working for a loan shark, where he’s forced to run dangerous errands for no pay. The culprit who doomed Ewon to this life is none other than Jiho, Ewon’s jealous ex who still burns at Ewon’s infidelity. Their gang leader Mookyul, with movie-star good looks and the bizarre, drunken habit of biting people on the neck, takes a keen interest in his attractive new errand boy. Will Ewon be able to survive the violent underworld (not to mention the constant sexual harassment) he must endure as an underling of Mookyul?When the story opens, we find Ewon working at a “credit union” which seems to be Korean for “bunch of mafia-based loan sharks.” Ewon had previously cheated (numerous times, it turns out, and he’s upfront about that and that his curiosity just gets him into trouble, whoops) on Jiho, and when -- after getting the cold shoulder from Jiho after the most recent infidelity -- Jiho and Mookyul run into Ewon, Mookyul beats the hell out of Ewon as retaliation for stalking Jiho. (The story makes clear later that Mookyul is no slouch when it comes to fighting, and in fact is considered one of the most fearsome fighters in his turf-area.)
Jiho suggests that Ewon work for Mookyul -- and Jiho’s motivation is both clear and believable, in that he’s dating a filthy-rich-movie-star-handsome guy and wants Ewon to burn up in jealousy; Ewon accepts/agrees to work the job (with no pay, at that!) purely because he doesn’t want to get on the bad side of the mafia and he sure as hell doesn’t want to get the crap beaten out of him again. Okay, so far, everyone’s motivation and behavior makes sense.
It also makes sense that Ewon -- who is a player to some degree, but he’s not what I’d call a malicious player, someone who just wants to rack up the notches on the bedpost. It’s more like he’s just... well, lonely, but also unwilling to make a connection with those people who are around him. Time and again he’s shown turning down his best friend’s proposals, on the pretense that he’s not a catcher and won’t be the bottom to his friend’s equally-strong preference for topping. The exchange is repeated often enough, here and there, that I started to suspect Ewon’s excuses weren’t a genuine disinclination so much as a good-enough excuse for keeping one more person at arm’s length. His willingness/interest in playing around seems more tied to recognizing a need for human affection but that one-night-stands are the easiest way to get that without emotional strings attached (although when he first narrates this about himself, he describes it just as a bad case of incessant curiosity).
After various trials (and some hysterical ones at that) while Ewon’s working as the office’s janitor-errand-boy-cook, Mookyul gradually becomes more and more fascinated by Ewon, for two reasons. The first is that he can’t stop thinking he knows Ewon from somewhere, but he’s not sure where, exactly. The second is that Ewon walks the edge of blatant attraction to Mookyul -- he’s well aware of Mookyul’s good looks, even if he’s not so sure about Mookyul’s personality -- yet he refuses to act on it. Much of that is because Jiho’s around, and while Ewon recognizes he doesn’t have strong feelings for Jiho anymore, he still doesn’t want to see that look of hurt on Jiho’s face. He might not be in love, but he does care.
It turns out, eventually, that Mookyul and Ewon met as children in a rather disastrous send-up that resulted in Mookyul quitting school (after beating Ewon up, for the first time, heh) -- and Mookyul declares that Ewon ‘owes’ him. For the emotional trauma Mookyul felt, for being the impetus that caused Mookyul to head out into the snow on his sixth-grade lonesome, for the fact that Ewon remembers little of the incident? Whatever it is, Mookyul’s price is sex, and Ewon reluctantly agrees...
Here’s where I think I first realized that Hajin Yoo, the author, isn’t your average meet-love-happy seme/uke stereotyper. When Mookyul thinks he’s gotten Ewon to agree to sex (despite the fact that Mookyul and Jiho are currently an item), he’s pleased with himself, and ready to go -- and in fact, it appears he’s even set up the conflict to force someone’s hand, be that Ewon’s or Jiho’s. (It’s not really clear.) Ewon, though -- despite internal thoughts that recognize he is attracted to Mookyul on a base/sexual level -- treats the situation with a partly-resigned, partly-exasperated, “well, fine, let’s get this over with.” I say Yoo isn’t the usual calibre of author because not once does she conflate sexual with emotional: Ewon may be sexually interested, but emotionally he’s pretty much not-there. For him, it’s a physical act, and an enjoyable one, but it doesn’t carry the emotional context that it seems to be carrying for Mookyul. His only stipulation is that Jiho should never know, and that seems only because he doesn’t want to hurt Jiho yet again.
Naturally (because the world deserves conflict), Jiho walks in on them. Short version is that Mookyul offers to dump Jiho, Ewon gets pissed that Mookyul would just throw away someone, Mookyul makes it clear he doesn’t care one way or another, and the story ends up with Jiho later telling Mookyul that he didn’t actually care about Mookyul, that his entire purpose was to make Ewon jealous. Mookyul, naturally, feels offended and used; Ewon’s reaction is to try and talk Jiho into apologizing, taking it back.
But no, Jiho knows the truth and he’s got to get closure, and then move along -- but before he does, he tells Ewon that he could put up with Ewon’s infidelity for only so long before he just couldn’t take it anymore. Jiho says, “Why do you hold out your hand, but run away every time I try to catch it? Haven’t you ever met someone you truly cared for? Don’t tell me you never met that one person you couldn’t do without...” it’s only later, in his own place and thinking back, that Ewon admits he can’t. Because what could be more frightening, he asks himself, than risking everything on one person?
A few other details about Ewon: he’s 22, like Mookyul and Jiho, and a senior in college (a fellow classmate of Jiho’s in the economics department). He’s on scholarship; he mentions having held down 5 different part-time jobs at once to pay for his schooling. He’s able to work for Mookyul’s office for free only because of scholarship money tiding him over, but when that runs out, he’s facing the question of how to extricate himself from the mafia and be able to pay rent and tuition. Although in the flashback childhood segment, Ewon recalls telling Mookyul -- an orphan -- that he’s also an orphan, he qualifies this by admitting internally that he wasn’t... but as far as he was concerned, he might as well have been (or something to that extent).
Somewhere, too, back in Ewon’s past, something happened, and this is possibly one of the only times I can really complain about the official translation. In the official version, Ewon tells Mookyul, “I can’t really remember much of when we met, thanks to that near-death incident you gave me” (I guess talking about the beating Mookyul gave him as a kid). In the scanlation version, however, the line goes more like, “I can’t really remember much about my childhood, after a near-death incident I had.” The first version may make sense in light of Ewon’s comments that Mookyul did beat the crap out of him, but there’s another point farther down (after realizing how they first met) in which Mookyul demands that Ewon repeat what he’d said when they’d parted as kids, as Mookyul was leaving the school grounds. (Ewon had followed him, yelling, “come back, you’ve got to come back, I’ll be waiting for you, right here!”)
Ewon asks himself, what was Mookyul talking about? And then there’s a single frame of what looks like a kid’s arm in a winter jacket, stretched out, palm up. There are speech bubbles around it, saying, “is that a kid in there?” and “is he alive?” ... and that’s the extent of the teaser we get about what may’ve happened. Ewon doesn’t talk about it, doesn’t ruminate on it, doesn’t even bring it up; he seems determined to live on his own two feet and he don’t need nobody, thanks, he’ll manage his own way, somehow. He certainly doesn’t wallow in self-pity.
What makes Ewon’s characterization so delicious, as a reader, is that he’s as much a study in contrasts as any full-fleshed literary creation, and a lot of that has to do with the author carefully creating a dichotomy between what Ewon does/says to others, versus what he keeps to himself. When I loaned the first three volumes to a Korean friend to read, she commented that Ewon would never make it in Korean society; he’s too stupid. I’m not sure “stupid” is the right word for it; I wouldn’t even say he’s naive. I think it’s more a matter of being willfully ignorant, a kind of simple refusal to acknowledge certain things and thus reduce their impact, somehow.
For instance, when one of the mafia-guys is being extorted by a “girlfriend” to pay off her debts, the guy asks Ewon -- who now handles the general accounting & petty cash for the office -- to get the several thousand dollars out of the accounts, and he’ll pay it back in a week, before Mookyul finds out. Ewon knows the guy’s being taken, and while he won’t steal/take the money himself, he compromises by turning over the accounting temporarily to the mafia-guy, who had done it prior to Ewon’s arrival. It’s not that Ewon falls for the girl’s pity-story, or has any illusions about the money, but he’s just not willing to get involved to the point of saying anything. He’ll give way, because it’s easier -- just as he gives way to Mookyul after being harrassed and pestered by Mookyul over and over. Fine, fine, here, have what you want.
Which brings up one of the other rare times I think the scanlation got it better than the official: after the Jiho/Mookyul breakup, Ewon quits the office. When the guys ask Mookyul why Ewon won’t be around anymore, in the official version, one of them says something like, “his sweet personality was growing on me.” In the scanlation, the line is, “he and his subservient personality were starting to grow on me.” There’s a big difference there, and looking over Ewon’s interactions with Mookyul and the crew, he does come across as very subservient. He cleans, he cooks, he rarely takes a stand on anything, preferring to just slip back and give way, letting the obstacle roll over him. If you take all that at face-value, then sure, it seems as though the one break in Ewon’s stereotype is that he’s insistent he’s a natural-born pitcher with no interest in being a catcher/uke -- a definite break considering how submissive he comes across in nearly every interaction, including with Jiho (who is far more emotionally forceful and/or straightforward than Ewon).
The turning point is that Jiho/Mookyul breakup, followed by Ewon and Jiho having a final goodbye, in the rain. Ewon comes down with the flu & doesn't show up again for work; meanwhile Mookyul’s crew are getting on his case having discovered that despite his generosity to them, he’d never paid Ewon a penny. All this time Mookyul’s been fascinated by Ewon’s apparent contradictions, but it’s his own men who really throw the final switch for him, when he realizes that Ewon’s become a bit of an office mascot for them. (They make a point of turning off the TV and telling their own boss to keep it down & not interrupt when Ewon announces he’s got to study for a test!) Mookyul can't let it go. I'm not sure whether he's unwiling to let Ewon's departure with Jiho, post-breakup-scene, to be left as the last word, or whether he just can't get Ewon out of his head, or if he's truly infatuated and refuses to accept that Ewon's left -- whatever the reasons for his display of disgruntlement, he still forces his men to show him where Ewon lives, and thereby discovers Ewon out sick with bad fever.
The next thing Ewon knows, he wakes up in Mookyul’s expensive high-rise apartment -- and his own tiny deep-in-the-slums lease has been closed, his stuff’s moved out, and he’s now living with Mookyul... and as far as Mookyul’s concerned, having “saved” Ewon from that danger known as the common cold, Ewon has to live with him. Ewon, of course, sees no reason why this would logically follow, demanding of Mookyul, “who do you think you are, to tell me what to do? you’re not my family or my lover,” to which Mookyul explains that’s exactly what he’s suggesting, that they become lovers.
Up to this point, Mookyul’s characterization can be summed up like so: imperious, arrogant, overbearing, belligerent, demanding. But like Ewon’s secret side, it’s only from asides and throwaway comments that Mookyul’s generosity and utmost loyalty is revealed. For the mafia-guy who steals the money (while doing the books), Mookyul says he knew full well the guy was stealing even when he was doing the accounting regularly, but Mookyul looked the other way because he knew of the mafia-guy’s ill mother. Mookyul doesn’t think twice about handing a large sum of cash to a former employee, to help him get a new start back in his hometown with his wife and infant child. And his own employees make noises about his generosity towards them, as well (which makes Mookyul’s stinginess towards Ewon especially glaring).
Mookyul never returned to school after quitting on that winter’s day, but at some point not long after that, he attempted to pick a man’s pocket, and that man turned out to be the credit union’s CEO, Chairman Lee... who not only caught him in the act, but offered him a place to stay, as well. It’s through the Chairman’s efforts that Mookyul did eventually get a highschool education, with private tutors. He does demonstrate some aptitude with computers and business, as befits the adopted son of a credit union’s CEO, but otherwise his formal education (especially the socialization aspect) is severely lacking. Ewon’s friend, Dohoon, calls Mookyul “an oversized grade-schooler,” and Ewon has to admit that the description is pretty accurate: emotionally, Mookyul remains pretty immature, though he wears a disinterested, arrogant expression in public.
For the most part, through to about the third volume, the sexual chemistry -- or perhaps just plain curiosity on each character’s part -- has stayed somewhat consistent, but in terms of their dynamic, it’s pretty much Mookyul running roughshod over Ewon, who swings between running like hell and giving a resigned shrug and saying, “fine, if that’s what you want, get it over with” (with unvoiced but likely internal plans for running afterwards, then). If you ignored a lot of the tiniest tells, here and there, you’d probably think the storyline is going to follow the usual seme-protag being the bad-guy obstacle (in this case, by just plain being so all-out unsufferable and arrogant that he’s just unbearable and in turn forces the uke-protag to flee); that is, until a few details when Mookyul joins Ewon and his classmates for a few beers.
After some tense moments during the introduction -- during which Mookyul is his usual imperious, in-your-face, abrasive personality -- the group settles down and Mookyul (who really has nothing to contribute) sits there and watches. He realizes, privately, that Ewon’s having a great deal of fun with his friends: “Is this what ‘normal’ people my age do?” He has no idea. His confusion/uncertainty is compounded by the news that Ewon isn’t just a good student, he’s the top-ranked student in his department, with straight-A’s. For someone who managed a high school education only through private tutors, the news seems to shock Mookyul and probably intimidate him (even if he doesn’t call it that, in so many words).
Now, here’s where Yoo got it right that other writers get it wrong (or don’t even get it): most of the time, we don’t really get any insight into Mookyul’s thought processes, or we only get the barest sarcastic remarks. But right on the tail of this half-admitted confusion/uncertainty, Mookyul rudely breaks into the students’ conversation by asking, “so, are all of you faggots?” (I normally wouldn’t use that word, but I believe he does in the comics, and you just can’t get much more rude than that, as an opening gambit.) Needless to say, Ewon’s friends are a bit taken aback; they want to like Mookyul because he’s with Ewon, but, well, he’s not very likeable, and they’re having trouble seeing what the attraction could be.
But what I realized is that all the previous times in which Mookyul abruptly says or does something so freaking arrogant, so unbelievably self-centered or overbearing or bellicose, that this specific incident may exist to re-cast those previous incidents in a new light: when Mookyul is out of his depth, and is intimidated, his first reaction is not just to strike out, but to do so in any way that will throw the other person/people far off their center, as well. He can find his own balance only by knocking others off theirs -- and honestly, that may be a childish, immature, insecure thing to do, but it’s also oh-so-very-human, and to some degree, therefore a sympathetic character flaw. For the first time, I didn’t see this arrogant seme-protag as pushing buttons and laughing when offense is taken, but as someone so insecure about his own value/intelligence/ability that he’s actually somewhat pitiful. He just doesn’t have a clue.
It's especially telling that when Mookyul does end up getting in Ewon's friends' faces, trying to start a fight (with full knowledge that he could easily kick their asses and everyone else's without breaking a sweat), that he doesn't accuse them of looking down on him because he's uneducated, which might be a truth. Instead, he says, "I can tell what you rich little snots are thinking. But someone like me, who lives like a bum, wouldn't care." Except that he's the only one at the table (from what I understand) who's wearing tailored haute couture, who drove his own Mercedes to the bar, who has his own high-rise condo, who has a well-paying job. He calls himself a bum because it's the one detail that would not be true, and demonstrably so, and therefore is the one challenge that wouldn't actually bother him.
In the course of a first read, it seems like Mookyul's being his usual abrasive, let's-fight-now, belligerent angry self, but re-reading, the scene just gets bigger for me in terms of Mookyul's characterization in what's rather subtle, literary-wise. That is, there's so much fuss and noise associated with a high-emotion angry scene like the ones Mookyul produces without a second thought, that the underlying message is easily ignored. (And that's just one more reason I think the author rocks, for using it to sneak sympathetic characterization past without being heavy-handed on the below-surface dynamics.)
As the story continues apace, there does come a break in the pattern. They do argue, and Ewon holds his own but backs down, gives up, whatever -- it doesn’t come across as him being weak so much as insisting that he doesn’t care that much, so it’s not worth any more effort. Both Mookyul and Ewon refer, at different points, to the fact that Mookyul’s primed for Ewon to jet at the first opportunity, and although Ewon doesn’t seem to like Mookyul mentioning it, it’s not like he really disagrees. It’s the truth, after all. Ewon may be subservient in social situations, and protective of friends/weaker-types like his ex-lover Jiho, but at the core he’s a self-reliant, independent, downright self-isolated person, isolated in the sense of refusing to let anyone near, or in, on an emotional level. For Mookyul, whose understanding of relationships seems to be based more on a “I do this for you, and you therefore feel that for me, in return”, Ewon’s obstinant refusal to play the game has got to be baffling and exasperating. In one argument, Mookyul hollers at him, “You don’t want to date, you don’t want to live together, you don’t want to have sex, so what the hell do you wanna do when you’re with me!?”
If you put together that angry cry with the moment of intimidated surprise in the bar, and then follow along the story to the point where Ewon lays down the law, the subversive/reversal in Yoo’s characterizations becomes clear, and I get the absolute biggest joy out of it. (I think she should be required reading, possibly, for romance writers: how to create conflict in romance involving an alpha male who...turns out to not be.) Because when a final line is crossed and Ewon decides that’s his limit of what he’ll put up with, I can’t really say he “grows a backbone”. That would be denying what’s really a very strong personality in every scene prior, if a willfully-sequestered personality (and not even from willful ignorance so much, I think, as from a general disinclination to get involved, at all, because involvement equals emotional ties, and whatever it was in his past, he won’t tie himself down to anyone, seeing it as the biggest risk of all, a kind of self-oblivion). No, it’s more that the break-up scene gives Ewon a lengthier chance to display what previously has only shown up in slight flashes: when he decides to cut someone to the quick, he’s very perceptive about what exactly to say and do. Almost brutal, but with a great deal more finesse than Mookyul has ever possessed.
All too often, the active/pitcher/seme/dominant whatever protag-half of the romance equation is also seen as the powerful half. You can go the ridiculous route with this, like the stereotypes so rampant in Japanimanga, where the character that’s older and taller is automatically the dominant partner (and the few stories with “younger/shorter seme” are much rarer and a sort of against-the-grain fetish). The het version, of course, is the big strong muscled Fabio with the slender, petite woman who only comes up to his shoulder (or less, if you’re going for broke) and at some point he’ll carry her, heft her around, basically treat her -- at least on a physical level -- like she’s almost literally a small child compared to his height/weight/strength. Running concurrent with those stereotypes, of course, are the expected characteristics: the powerful partner, the dominant partner, is the one who’s rich, who can provide, and perhaps as a benefit to being the one who has-so-much, can be cranky and arrogant and pushy and controlling. (It’s always the submissive/powerless partner who does the keeling-in, the giving-way, the apologizing, even the rationalizing; but what else does the uke-protag have to offer than a pretty smile and some good sex? It’s like there’s this logic that says, “if I give you a porsche, then of course you’ll put up with my temper tantrums and abrupt coldness, because otherwise, no porsche!” Or something.)
I mention that because if I’ve not made it clear, through the first five volumes or so, Ewon has played the quintessential uke: he’s fussed at times, he’s every now and then shown flashes of independence, but the overwhelming material power, and physical power (including height) of Mookyul have kept Ewon squarely in the uke-protag position, at least from a just-reading-to-enjoy perspective. But seeing Ewon slice Mookyul to the gut, and doing it efficiently and thoroughly, makes a lot of the previous dynamic suddenly not so obvious. The most recent scene, Ewon’s discovered Mookyul’s infidelities, and despite Mookyul doing all but calling him a hypcrite outright (referencing the way they’d re-met, thanks to Jiho), Ewon retorts he at least apologized and didn’t screw around on Mookyul. All along, when Mookyul’s particularly angry, he threatens with his fist (or makes to threaten) and that’s been enough to get Ewon to back down (although Ewon warned him against going so far as to actually hit, because Ewon won’t take that). In this argument, Ewon is determined to strike back, and he’s much more efficient about it. He says he’s going to stay with a friend, and why should Mookyul get upset? They’ll mess around, and Ewon’ll come back once he’s gotten off. Mookyul is enraged (and from the looks of the illustrations, quite hurt), which is when Ewon levels him, saying, “Should I tell you I love you, before I go?”
I went back through the previous volumes, starting with the chapter when Ewon wants to know about the Chairman but is being oblique about it, and Mookyul thinks Ewon wants to hear those three little words. The short of it is that Mookyul implies it, saying “my beloved fox,” and the like, until finally saying it bluntly, “I love you, Ewon Jung.” From there on, it’s Mookyul who says it, and actually says it repeatedly. I didn’t realize until going back, that not once did Ewon ever repeat the words back to him. However, Ewon did buy a very expensive present for Mookyul’s birthday, which to Mookyul seems to have been the equivalent of a declaration of love, seeing how Mookyul reacted just as he would’ve if he’d heard the words. That right there probably says a lot to you, dear reader, about just what Mookyul thinks constitutes “being in love”. But still, at no point had Ewon said it, so pulling out that line as a final devastation is, well, pretty much a devastation. That’s what I meant by Ewon holding an awful lot in abeyance, and really only showing the blades when he’s quite ready to go for the kill. If Mookyul is the thunder, Ewon is most definitely the lightening, because Mookyul may knock you down but it’s Ewon who scorches without mercy.
Getting back to the classic romance sub/plot stereotypes and the issues of powerful vs powerlessness, I’m really delighted in reading this story that it actually took me this many chapters to stop and realize (although I admit it was tickling my head before, I put in the category of “wouldn’t it be nice if...” instead of being certain it was coming). Basically, Yoo has taken the premise and dynamic of the standard romance plot of arrogant seme-protag and materially-weak, physically-weaker, personality-subservient uke-protag, and underneath it created the backbone of a story in which all that was seme is uke and what appeared uke is revealed as seme.
Some of the folks exchanging comments about this most recent chapter over on the Totally Captivated forum (and I highly recommend reading their comments as well for some insightful takes on the latest events) noted that Ewon really displayed a significant amount of maturity in handling the argument/break-up, far more than Mookyul, and that it was necessary, story-wise, for Ewon to finally lay down the law. (There's a fair number that aren't feeling too forgiving about Mookyul's less-than-truthful take on the situation, though, so if you have a soft spot for belligerent, privately-educated, noisy overgrown grade-schoolers, consider yourself warned!)
But I think Mookyul’s physical reaction in the course of the break-up scene was very telling, as well -- which first was a punch, but curiously enough when Ewon went for the kill, verbally, Mookyul's reaction wasn't to punch, but to slap -- which if you think about it, has some slightly different connotations. We tend to punch people when we want to hurt them, to knock them down; it seems to be instinct (in a wide number of cultures, from what I’ve seen) to slap when you’re offended/hurt. If you think about it, a slap isn’t as physically powerful as a punch requires, and most of the time you see a slap in literature or media, it’s a woman doing it. It’s most often an open-handed move, it doesn’t require the speed or precision of using fist and muscle, and the simple force of the swing can be enough to snap a person’s head to the side even when they’re taller and stronger than you. (My own theory is that somewhere in there is buried meanings that come from the simple physical act: when you punch someone, you’re shoving them back, it’s a “get away” kind of move. When you slap someone, it’s almost always across the face or cheek, with the palm carrying just a bit to the mouth: the meaning, then, isn’t “get away” but “shut up, stop saying that”. To me, whether or not the author sat down and critically considered the differences on a conscious level isn’t an issue; both were illustrated so there was some thought into drawing a punch versus drawing the gesture of a slap... and somewhere in there, perhaps, the author realized that Mookyul does not want Ewon to go away, to back off, but he does want Ewon to shut up, to be quiet, to stop saying those harsh things.
It’s often said that violence is the last refuge of the weak, which is why I think it’s especially important in this break-up scene that Mookyul does resort to violence, because he is the weak one in the relationship. He has taken the upper hand in deciding where and when and how Ewon goes to class and gets to the office, it’s his apartment, he gives Ewon a car, he provides a roof and a job and an income, and he decides when they’ll have sex (right up to and including some seriously borderline-noncon sex) and is always top when they do, and for all intents and purposes he’s been the dominant partner in everything. Except that, for all that, he is actually the powerless half of the partnership. Ewon, simply by dint of being able to walk away, is the one who really holds the power -- and I think the big reveal in that final scene is not that Ewon realizes he’s able to walk away: it’s that he realizes he doesn’t want to walk away... and has to, anyway, for the sake of his own principles. Casting back over the previous chapters, I think Mookyul has always been aware to some degree that he’s the powerless one of the two of them, that he’s given repeatedly (as best he can, as he understands ‘love’ and ‘giving’, however stunted) and yet he’s never truly gotten that final step into Ewon the way he feels he’s let Ewon into himself.
Two chapters covers this final evening and break-up, and that’s all it takes for Yoo to take the stereotypical seme-uke dynamic and rip it apart to show that underneath, the seme wasn’t really a seme. He’s the powerless*, perhaps even emotionally helpless but certainly emotionally immature and insecure, half of the dynamic, and all his theatrics and arrogance and rules laid down on Ewon have been nothing more than a lot of sound and fury to cover up that basic insecurity and uncertainty. Ewon, in contrast, has been uncertain about the danger of falling for Mookyul, and he may get annoyed, exasperated, sometimes just amused-exasperated, but he’s not truly been off his center at any point that I can recall. Then again, Ewon also has an iron-strong will when it comes to achieving his goals without anyone’s interference, without having to rely on anyone and without taking the risks of being hurt or let down. To realize that Mookyul has let him down, and that he gave a damn about it, shocks him to his core... but it doesn’t stop him from walking out that door, and it’s his ability to do so that doesn’t just reveal his maturity in declaring, and enforcing, a limit, but also his power in the relationship that he can, and does.
*ETA: I should probably clarify that I don't mean that Mookyul is weak in the personality/character sense; he's simply the powerless half of the relationship, and only as regards Ewon. Taking the relationship objectively, for all Mookyul's tyrannical demands, he's also the one giving everything, from roof to income to gifts to attention to words. With the exception of his birthday gift, there's not really anything else Ewon has given him in return, and in some ways Mookyul's sheer joy and surprise at the gift is almost heart-breaking, that he's willing to accept so little and put out so much effort to catch Ewon, keep Ewon, not let him go even when he knows Ewon's looking for a reason, a chance, to bolt. That's what I mean by powerless, within the relationship: Mookyul may control a lot of the trappings of their lives, but he isn't, ultimately, in control of the relationship's end anymore than he was genuinely in control of its beginning. For all his efforts to appear otherwise, the truth is that the relationship exists on Ewon's sufferance, not Mookyul's. That's what I mean by 'powerless'.
I’ve more to add, about the stereotypical dominant-protag’s arrogance and “I buy you things so you love me” kind of logic, and Yoo’s use of what is really an abusive situation (for Mookyul) that further explains and clarifies (and adds to the sympathetic element of) Mookyul’s understanding of relationships... but I’ll do that in the next post, or in the next day or so. Need to go put down the last bit of cork on the kitchen floor, and then to clean up the glue, seal the ends, and soon, we will have kitchen floor. Woot.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Aug 2008 06:04 am (UTC)Though I did manage to land my elbow in glue and not realize it until I sat down at the desk, rested my arms, and then discovered I'd just glued myself to the desk. Wow. That adhesive-stuff is, uh, strong. Whoops.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 06:54 am (UTC)I couldn't have said it any better myself.
I also noted how shocked Mookyul became when he realized how smart Ewon is and how well he interacts socially outside of the office. Up to that point their relationship had only been in the office/mafia environment and seeing Ewon being popular and treated with respect in the outside world might have intimidated him.
He revealed this insecurity by trivialising Ewon's accomplishment: saying "Straight A's? After I did it to you every night" (or something close to that)
This showed that he wanted to prove his dominance over Ewon 'He might have friends and be the top student, but he does what "I" say' was his probable intention. He even had to do this in front of his friends.
You have very keen insight ^^
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 07:08 am (UTC)(Sometimes, re-reading, it's almost surprising to me how many times I can now identify Mookyul being surprised/shocked by what Ewon says or does. I think the 'sly' designation is because, in some ways, Ewon is well aware of the reaction he gets. Ewon's battle isn't whether or not he can hold his own against Mookyul, I think, so much as whether he wants to exert the effort to hold his own. Or, y'know, just jet. Heh.)
A lot of this dynamic, and Mookyul's behavior, I think -- at least, it's my theory -- explains his relationship with the Chairman. In fact, I could probably sum up my hypothesis by saying that everything Mookyul knows/shows/does that he considers love, is because it's what he was taught by the Chairman. The devil's in the details, though, and I think I'll only have a good handle on what might happen next once I sort the details out in my head (or in pixels). Hence the long posts, since, well, I have a lot of thoughts and at five volumes, there's a lot of details!
And thanks for the compliment, but I'm not always certain I actually have keen insight, so much as a tendency to just keep thinking and thinking until enough piles up that at least one of the insights is keen. The noise-to-signal ratio can get kinda crazy, but hey. As long as I'm amusing, right?
Anyway, where things stand now, in the story? Really makes me wonder what the next chapters will bring...
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:18 am (UTC)And I think you articulated very well what many of us are thinking concerning the development of Ewon's and Mookyul's relationship.
I think the character of Ewon is REALLY evolving. Of course, he is the main protagonist. But I realized after 5 volumes...I didn't really know much about his back story...isn't it kind of awesome that the main protagonist is still a mystery? I can't wait to find out what motivates Ewon and what made him so determined to succeed and also WHY he is so good at staying "uninvolved".
Pretty much this story is unfolding in a way that makes us readers eager/desperate to see what awesomness to expect next.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:32 am (UTC)Yes, I can't wait to see how the whole Mafia biz will unfold what with the traitor coming back in the story and Mookyul's rival and the CEO's plans, because he must have some!
I'd love to have more insight on both Mookyul's and Ewon's childhoods too, there's so much left unsaid. Oh and btw, I agree with your theory Kaigou, I think the near death incident Ewon faced was when he nearly froze to death waiting for Mookyul. And my heart just melted anew mentioning it X)
One aspect I'm looking forward to as well is the inevitable (imo) clash between Ewon and Mookyul regarding his Mafia activities. We didn't get to see much gangster stuff but I don't think they got to be mobsters without dirtying their hands and Mookyul almost beating the traitor to death was the first glance we had of it. And come to think of it, it was also the first time we saw Ewon standing up for himself and his beliefs.
And as oblivious as Ewon's been to it, I think there'll be a day where it will come bit them in the ass and create conflict again.
Ahhh, me thinks we're looking forward to much angst yet to come *skitters*
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:47 am (UTC)Whoops, I guess I wasn't clear -- I think the translator may've taken it that way (in the official scanlation) but I think it's something related to Ewon and his mother. His reaction to the Chairman mentioning his mother was so extreme, really, that it makes me think something happened that was incredibly harsh. The last chapter's few images -- of a child-Ewon banging on a door, and the shot of a dripping sink -- are just more questions raised than answered. Grrr!
Okay, I complain, but I admit, it's a very happy kind of complaint. Too many authors by now would've spilled all the beans about Ewon's childhood, Mookyul's relationship with the Chairman, even the DA's investigation. Instead, Yoo holds the mysteries close just as much as the characters themselves would, were we to meet them in person. Man, I wonder if we could clone her...
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Date: 24 Aug 2008 07:56 am (UTC)Ah no, it's just that English isn't my mother tongue and that makes me misunderstand at times, especially when there's long sentences ;D
I had never thought of it that way but it's actually an even more interesting take on Ewon's background. We know he had a tough childhood, but not to what extent...
Thinking back on the first light hearted chapters, I'm amazed at how Yoo seamlessly managed to make her story dark and gloomy. As much as the fangirl in me yearns for a happy ending, I'm very very happy with the tone the story took because I loooove my characters dark, tortured and angsty.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:44 am (UTC)It's so rare to have a completely separate and potentially really negative impact from something that's got nothing to do with who's sleeping with whom. Because, complex plot, omg, YES. Plus, every now and then from Mookyul's words I get the sense that he doesn't always truly believe that he'd be valuable to the Chairman just as he is, but given the rare scenes of them together, I'm not sure if that's totally true... Dunno. Hrmm. Food for thought...
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:07 am (UTC)It certainly is one of the best story I've read regarding character development and complexity and you've demonstrated it perfectly.
I have to say I love reading smut stories with the stereotypical forceful/dominative seme but they are nothing more than that, much like PWP fanfics, a (not so) guilty pleasure.
What is so interesting in TC is that the characters' emotions are always at the center of the story and you can always infer their acts from them. Come to think of it, where else can you have a full chapter centered only on a dialogue between two characters. And such a chapter at that.
Your characterization of Ewon is really accurate, and I think it's obvious for anyone who reads TC, even if they didn't put it in words. After all, no one has been surprised by Ewon's reaction or the fact that he "suddenly showed backbone" because well, it's not sudden.
However, I'll abate the depth of Mookyul's weakness. I agree with what you wrote, the seemingly dominant one is the most insecure and emotionally immature of the couple but we must not forget one of Mookyul's strength, as I see it, his ability to recognize, accept and speak his feelings up and to act upon them.
As forceful as he's been towards Ewon, he has never hesitated to show him how deeply he cared for him and how much he needed him. He is the one who continually confesses to him, whether by saying the 3 words or the dozens of other expressions of his love "Are you really staying with me only for the money?" "I'll give you my ears, my eyes, my heart..." etc
And to be willing to relentlessly chase after someone after being rejected that many times takes a lot and Mookyul has never spared his efforts, even willing to give up his pride, him, the arrogant prideful bastard.
"You want me to get you roses? Okay I'll do it, I've already made an ass of myself" or "What do you want to do when we're together? Tell me I'll do anything!"
He makes his need of Ewon blatant and is never shy about it.
Only once has he pretended to not give a damn about Ewon and that's when he offered him "the deal". But that attitude was prompted by the keen understanding he has of Ewon's fear of getting attached and break off his independent and lonesome life. He may have his own issues but he's pretty sharp himself when he wants to and it's thanks to his affections that he managed to break the barrier Ewon had erected around himself, which is a feat in itself.
All this long, endless rant to say, the last chapter may very well have given final proof that the relationship wasn't a stereotypical seme/uke but that doesn't mean that the situation is completely inversed and that Ewon is somehow the real seme now. They're just getting, hopefully, towards a more healthy and egalitarian one.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:38 am (UTC)Mookyul's already effectively selling his own body to retain his place in one person's heart, after that, what's some words and roses and getting down on one knee? He says of his childhood self, "It wasn't because of my toughness or my stubborness that I never cried; in all honesty, I was a weakling. I just didn't want to acknowledge that I was poor and needed anyone else's help to survive."
In effect, their childhood roles have reversed (which is the fundamental reversal under Yoo's reverse-the-stereotypes, I think): from the stubborn orphan who won't accept help who becomes the one whose loyalty is almost an extreme and who really doesn't have a lot of self-confidence to draw a line and risk abandonment, to the not-really-an-orphan who says of himself, "The difference was my conniving and cowardly nature, for I understood the importance of people despite their pity or hypocrisy. I never had the courage to leave people for good no matter how miserable I was." And look where Ewon ended up, eh.
You're right that it's a bit of hyperbole, too, to say it's a strictly seme-uke and the positions have flipped; I don't think Yoo is going to suddenly go down that path, not after the circuitous route she's taken so far. (Well, if she did, I'd be very very disappointed!) But in the context of the traditional romantic sub/plot in fiction, the lowest denominator romance follows a split of powerful/powerless (or seducer/seduced), and up to this point Mookyul's had all the trappings of the powerful position. I just think that Ewon, in laying down the line -- and more importantly, I think, forcing Mookyul into a position where it's obvious that Mookyul can't also lay down the line as well -- managed to undermine all the previous stereotypical powerful-identifiers and show himself as (at least in this situation) far more powerful, because he's able (and willing) to lay down limits.
Dynamics and stereotype-flipping aside, yeah, I sure hope it's the start of a healthier stage, but this is Yoo we're talking about... so I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more worse before there's a lot more better. Isn't this thing slated to end up being around fifteen volumes?
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Date: 24 Aug 2008 08:29 am (UTC)I think so too, and that's part of what makes him so endearing, to think that behind the over confident grown man still hides a little insecure child yearning for affection. It makes him that much more human and realistic. The 'beast' is flawed, how touching.
Mookyul's already effectively selling his own body to retain his place in one person's heart, after that, what's some words and roses and getting down on one knee?
It's true but those two things aren't on the same level. Sure it all emanates from his neediness and fear of being abandoned but it doesn't determine all his actions, he consciously chose to open up to Ewon and make himself vulnerable in the process.
Even if he whores himself to the "old man", he always puts up a bold front before him, reminds him that it's the old man who wants him *barf* and that he will have no qualms at tearing him down once he's released from his promise.
On the other hand, he could very well have chosen to keep on putting up the same act towards Ewon "I'll make sure to dump your ass as soon as I get tired of you" but instead he chose to be honest and expose his true feelings. That's why I think it's relevant that he forsakes his pride for Ewon.
I hadn't noticed the reversal of roles but it's so true, they definitively have a lot in common and at the same time are somewhat polar opposites, no wonder they attract themselves.
Boy oh boy would I be happy if this goes on for 15 volumes, we've already reached such intensity at a third of the story *shivers in anticipation*
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:12 am (UTC)The curious thing is, if you think about (real people) human psychology, coming from a place where abandonment is an issue means that making yourself vulnerable is only possible when some threshold of security has been met. That is to say, it may seem as though (and to some degree, is true that) Mookyul has really put himself out there. It's just that I don't think he'd do so without having a safety net, some kind of backup plan.
IOW: I think the reason he may never have entertained ditching the Old Man was because if, for whatever reason, Ewon left him, that the Old Man would therefore still be around. Mookyul wouldn't be alone.
Thing is, I think Ewon gets that, especially after his crucial deliberations over putting all your trust in one person, the risk of doing that. The argument has "don't sleep with other people" all over it, but I think the real argument is "where do you put your trust"... which is why it started with "are you sleeping with him" but ended with "do you have two hearts?"
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)It's a cynical view of their relationship, I still don't think the two are related. Somehow I'm convinced that even if he had been alone, Mookyul would still have acted the same way towards Ewon and put himself out there. Because just like Ewon deliberated and chose to put his trust in Mookyul with no guarantee (and even with a nagging doubt regarding the Chairman) Mookyul would have done the same.
And that's assuming Mookyul really does consider the Chairman as his safety net, which I'm not convinced of. Imo, Mookyul already did put himself out there.
If he truly were his safety net, Mookyul would somehow be content with the way things turned out, but as last chapter showed, he's not, and it's bound to increase in the next chapters.
Besides, he has never entertained ditching the Chairman, Ewon showing up just didn't change that equation (yet).
As he said, in his mind his relationship with the Chairman and with Ewon are totally unrelated. On the other hand, Ewon rightfully thinks otherwise and sees the Chairman for what he is, a "rival" for Mookyul's love, hence the "do you have two hearts?" comment.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:21 am (UTC)When I was reading the latest chapter, I was expecting [like any yaoi mangas] for Ewon to cry or scream at Mookyul for continuing his "relationship" with the chairman. He totally surprised he by standing his ground, hard-faced, not shedding a tear. He fought Mookyul, said everything he wanted, walked outta there. Mookyul, on the other hand, can only use violence to deal with the situation, and at the end, doesn't know what to do but stood there because, obviously, violence didn't work on Ewon. I was.... AMAZED with Ewon. Very nice character development.
We need more of these stories around.
Also, Ewon had been depending on himself since Lord-knows-when, he's too wrapped up himself to consider another person, afraid of getting hurt [like you have said "what's more frightening than risking everything on one person."] I think he risked that with Mookyul but... at the end, he faced the consequences that he was avoiding and will probably build a new emotional wall around himself. Unless Mookyul grow some balls and do something about it :P
I just stated everything you said but I needed to get this off my chest. The latest chapter was such a bad blow ;_;
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 08:54 am (UTC)I hadn't even thought about the consequences but I think you're right -- for Ewon to say, that's it, screw this, I'm not making that mistake ever again! -- I think that would be very much in character. Lock it all up and forget about it, just like he has with whatever happened that's related to his childhood and his mother.
I didn't expect Ewon to play the usual girly-uke role when he faced down Ewon, but I did half-expect that Ewon would, again, just end up letting it slide. That they'd argue until Mookyul hit a point where he'd drag them off to the bedroom and assert his dominance that way. There are too many times in the chapters where a non-dialogue box will show Ewon displaying a rather sharp, maybe even perceptive, expression (which may be where the "sly" comes from), so I wasn't that surprised he could decimate Mookyul so easily. I guess I was mostly surprised that he'd still walk -- especially after the realization only two chapters before that he was no longer alone, and he'd grown to like that.
I wanted to root for Ewon's setting the boundaries, but really, I mostly just felt so bad for Mookyul. In the last two chapters, he just came across as out of his depth, especially when caught in the tensions between the Chairman and Ewon. Like he needed cue cards because so little was being said explicitly and too much was undercurrent... or something. I just felt bad for him, I guess. Heh.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:19 am (UTC)Mookyul is definitely caught between Scylla and Charybdis (rock and a hard place, wanted to use my HS greek). I think he DOES love Ewon..I mean seriously he thought of Ewon even throughout his time with the chairman punk. At the same time he doesn't want to lose everything he gained though the chairman punk, becausee that would put him back to square one and being the thing he fears most ...a guy with nothing.
Seeing the flashes of Ewon's backstory was sad...he was pounding on a door crying, and another flashback was when he was seemingly found by people (was he passed out?). I think that whatever happened to his mother was probably horrific. I think that when readers finally find out what EXACTLY happened, tears will be shed (I know mine will!)
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:35 am (UTC)I agree about Mookyul loving Ewon, which was why I qualified it: I think he loves Ewon as best as he can in the way he understands what it is to love. We all express love and affection as we were taught, as children, which is why abusive cycles can be so hard to break -- that's why I think understanding the Chairman is the key to understanding Mookyul, just as figuring out what happened between Ewon and his mother is the likeliest key to understanding why Ewon holds himself so separate at all costs.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:29 am (UTC)About his mother, I think she's the one that made Ewon so afraid of dependency. She's somehow involve in his "near-death experience". And she's the dark childhood that he's trying to erase. I really can't wait to see this unveiled.
And I have to agree that I also feel really bad for Mookyul.... Geez, the kid was poor and orphaned. Meeting the chairman must be the best thing that had happened to him. He'd give his body to have power and money, he didn't care. And now he had to choose between his lover and status. I really don't know which he should go for because both are important to him.
He's stuck in a really deep pile of shit. And 2 weeks wait for Netcomics is too long for me :(
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:43 am (UTC)On the other hand... I also think of Ewon's accusation that the Chairman is being manipulative/controlling because he doesn't want to give up Mookyul, even if he acts indifferent. Mookyul says something like, "he's not like that," but given all the other tiny bits that have implied a basic insecurity on Mookyul's part, a little flag went up for me. Instead of the face value of it, there's some critique-reader part of me wondering whether what Mookyul really means is "he wouldn't put out that much effort for me," that is, to consider himself disposable, and only worth effort so long as he holds up his end of the deal (more deals, sheesh).
He may see the apparent indifference as the truth of things, but I'm not sure whether he's just not sly enough (a la Ewon) or confident enough to dig below the surface to consider whether the Chairman's facade is true all the way to the bone. At least, that was my impression on reread, that Mookyul was denying something but what he was denying wasn't the same as what Ewon was affirming.
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Date: 24 Aug 2008 08:41 am (UTC)It's very likely knowing how insecure Mookyul is but it also primarily shows the high esteem in which he holds the Chairman. He truly doesn't believe him able to act this way and that's why he was so surprised when Ewon hit bullseye by telling him "You could have just met outside but you went out of your way to meet up here. It was his idea wasn't it?"
Even if he denies it now, my guess is that he'll mull that one over until he comes to realize that Ewon was right, and he'll certainly start resenting the Chairman for it. I don't think he'll break his promise nonetheless but if the Chairman truly loves him, it'll certainly worry him if Mookyul starts being distant. The beginning of the end maybe? *crosses her fingers*
Periscope
Date: 25 Aug 2008 02:15 pm (UTC)As for the Chairman, -control is key. If Mookyul starts to stray, his(unhealthy) obsession will try to keep him chained- I have a slight foreboding.. this is when the gangster plot works - to keep Mookyul chained to him, he'll have to eliminate the "thorn" which has started all this - Ewon.
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:14 am (UTC)Assuming the growing rival for Mookyul's position (what's-his-face on the north side) doesn't catch onto the situation and use it to his advantage, somehow. Can't forget that it was Ewon who made the first move to hit that guy, after all. And with a carrot, no less.
Re: Periscope
Date: 30 Aug 2008 05:10 pm (UTC)I totally agree. I don't think that the Chairman would take direct action against Ewon though, it's not his style and if he has any understanding of Mookyul, he'd know it'd be the safest way to estrange him definitively.
The threat will most likely come from north-side Mafia boss and let's not forget homophobic dude who now works for him. I can see the Chairman silently approving of their actions or even secretly supporting them though.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:30 am (UTC)I was reading the chapter right now where Mookyul stares Ewon in the eye and says "Right now you are the only one for me"
I'm so sad because I'm thinking that inside Mookyul's head (as he is caressig Ewon's face) he is thinking "Well I'm not TECHNICALLY lying... RIGHT NOW there really is no one but this punk in the room with me...hopefully the old man won't come back for a while" * T_T *
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 09:50 am (UTC)After all, Mookyul is the chairman's, and bound to remain that way for at least eight more years per their agreement. What he has, he has through the Chairman... but Ewon is something that he's gotten without the Chairman. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's my impression of how Mookyul rationalizes and compartmentalizes the contradiction between insisting Ewon not be with anyone else or else!!! versus knowing he must continue to share himself with the Chairman as well.
Or maybe your take is much simpler, that technically, well, right now we're alone, so, uh, yeah, you're the only one! For at least the, uh, next ten minutes!
Riiiiiight. Heh.
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 10:09 am (UTC)I agree that Mookyul sees Ewon as "his". HE is...well...almost obssessed with Ewon. He searched for Ewon whe he went to buy food, wants him in the office 10 minutes after school, won't even let Ewon go anywhere without telling him first.
This is probably the first time he's had these feelings for someone else and..lets face it...Ewon was a player in the past T_T
For all Mookyul knowns EVERYONE is after Ewon.
Its gotta hurt...even after being with Mookyul, Jiho preferred being with Ewon, then Dohoon had to go and admit that HE had a crush on Ewon....then there was that dark haired guy...not to mention one of the girls at Casablanca, the high school girls at the subway station...yes...I can feel why Mookyul gets possesive.
Ahh looking at that list....man Ewon really IS loved ^^
Man what a tangent I went on..I must be tired its 3:09 AM here LOL
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:21 am (UTC)Oi! I hadn't even realized that, not in the sense of actually listing them and looking at it from some kind of distance. I mean, over & over Ewon emphasizes Mookyul's "movie-star-good-looks" but I can't recall anyone ever really making moves on Mookyul, or trying to ingratiate themselves to any (sexual, interested) degree with him. The girls at the bar, but that's somewhat limited since they know he doesn't swing their way. Jiho, except for then learning Jiho was just using him. Anyone else? At all? I can't think of any. He's gorgeous but lacks all the honey that attracts the bees, and Ewon's (apparently) got that honey in spades.
Although I can't help but think that it's partly that Mookyul stresses about Ewon being unfaithful, therefore, but also because he's aware Ewon could be unfaithful, that he has the options... I don't see anyone really giving Mookyul that option, nor can I recall him ever really making the attempt to chase the option (except for Ewon). So partly a jealousy in the protective sense of what he's got with Ewon and not being cast aside... but also possibly an envy that Ewon's got the charm that Mookyul lacks.
Hell, even in a non-sexual sense, there's envy (not jealousy) running rampant through a lot of Mookyul's few inner thoughts, when we see them, in the first four volumes or so. Mostly as he watches Ewon with his employees, and sees how much they've come to enjoy, admire, and even big-brother-over Ewon... to the degree that sometimes I think he's also jealous of his relationship with his employees, that Ewon has somehow intruded and shoved Mookyul just a little to the side, made him less the Big Guy as a result. Although I also think that's part of the character motivation of what fascinated him, too, in the first place.
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 02:19 am (UTC)And with chapter 36 up *cries*
Ewon. Ewon. Ewon. No. No. No.
Well looks like Ewon knows people in high places ^^;
Right now it looks like there might be an intervention concerning Ewon's behavior. Then again, the call at the end is a mystery until the next chapter. It could be Jiho.....CEO...rival boss Namyung Kim...anyone...
well...in mathematics....two negatives (wrongs) equal a positive (right) an eye for an eye?
-3 X -3= +9.....7- -7= +14...
I know T_T nothing justifies it!!!!!
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 28 Sep 2008 06:05 am (UTC)And agree completely Ewon is likable ^_^
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Date: 24 Aug 2008 08:44 am (UTC)A father-son relationship can't be on the same level as one between lovers right? :P
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Date: 24 Aug 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)There is no doubt that Mookyul loves Ewon IMO. I think he probably feels awful for not telling Ewon about the relationship between himself and the chairmain. I think he was scared that time, fearing that Ewon would leave....which happened anyway.
Their relationship, as many have pointed out, seems to be at Ewon's mercy (sounds strange right?). Mookyul fears that at any moment Ewon will leave, at one point telling Ewon he would do anything he wants (apparently short of dumping CEO).
Yep, I was just sad because Mookyul telling Ewon "right now you are the only one for me" was probably one mf my favorite scenes in the whole manhwa >.<
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:25 am (UTC)Although having seen the next chapter, I must say it says something for Mookyul's determined spirit that he doesn't get depressed, but gets active, even if (from what I can figure out) it's the most productive results from that activity. Still, it's him trying.
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)Mookyul fears that at any moment Ewon will leave, at one point telling Ewon he would do anything he wants (apparently short of dumping CEO).
And isn't that darling? He needs and wubs him so~ much =)
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Date: 23 Aug 2008 10:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Aug 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)I have to admit I raised my fist in triumph when Ewon put his foot down in the latest chapter. Even though I do feel bad for Mookyul.
Anyway, maybe I'm just thinking about this too much but I wonder why there no mention of Ewon's father. The closest mention we've got so far is when the chairmen makes a comment about growing up with an unwed mother. Perhaps, it wasn't just the mention of his mother that struck a cord but the "unwed" part. Maybe not having a father when Ewon was a child and reason why his mother never married (though we don't know why yet) is a big underlying issue.
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:28 am (UTC)Although from what little I've gathered of Korean society, being an unwed mother would -- in and of itself -- be a pretty unusual, maybe even shameful, thing. A kind of abandonment in and of itself, that could overshadow everything else.
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Date: 26 Aug 2008 11:42 pm (UTC)TC reminds me of Bronze by Minami Ozaki. Someone read it? I recommend you to read it, its pretty good! It was my first shounen ai manga.
The seme Kouji Nanjo ist beautiful, successful and "strong". He yearns for love and a reason to live and he found it: his (first) love Takuto Izumi. On the outside he is the stronger one with power but in their relationship he is the one who depends on his partner. He gives everything to his lover even his life ...Kouji is a singer, his lyric are the best!!! all his love and feelings he put it in his lyric T___T (you have to read it!!!!! i dont want to spoil^^")
I think the best was in the song "Bronze": even if there is a million people who needs me but if you, my beloved, dont need me, i would care less about their death. If you dont need me, my life would be useless.
Takuto is the uke but I think he is the much stronger one ^^ he is doing his best to achieve his dream ...everyone respects and love him, even if he has a sad past.
He has power and volition. His past is his only weak point and it makes him into a person who dont believe in "love". He lives for his dream and his brother and sister Oo a poor and hardworking young man *-* Kouji cames from a very rich family and he is also a popular singer in japan with many crazy fans o<o In comparison to Kouji he is someone who use "words" and not "violence".(Their first time was also rape -___-""" ) They also met each other when they were kids Oo after years of searching after Takuto, Kouji found him ... not really true... because Takuto found him drunk on the street *.*" and helped him .... There are similarities I think Oo but the story is different because Kouji and Takuto has to fight against the society and Koujis Family ...their relationship is a gay-relationship after all o.o Minami Ozaki loves dark stories and bronze is one of them O<o Im really sorry for my bad english, I hope you could understand a little what I mean Oo I want to write more but ... Bronze is one of the best BL manga I read and I just love it xD Its not that I love dark stories but the characters development and their emotions are so beautiful^^° After reading your review I thought about it again and saw the similarities, just want to tell you guys about it ^^° maybe someone read Bronze and could describe it better than me ^^°
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Date: 30 Aug 2008 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 28 Sep 2008 06:21 am (UTC)I would lack confidence if I met someone like Ewon, he is somehow the epitome of what a student wants to achieve, and his strong will is a principal provider. The abrupt way in which Ewon reacted to the CEO in terms of his mother, has intrigued me immensely, we do get some shots, but I hope/(know) there is going to be an immense secret in which Ewon is part of, and nonetheless it will explain why he is the way he is, self-reliant and mature.
As to Mookyul, I now see him differently, I don't see him as less, though know I want to truly analyze his character, and after reading your review, some of his actions make more sense.
As to the latest chapter, I was extremely infatuated by the way things were being realized, I am not a big fan of angst, but after reading TC, I have realized that I actually enjoy angst with actual plots, I am looking forward to seeing whats going to happen. Patience is key in these times -_-.
I will be looking forward to your additions and also I love the structure in which you wrote your insights and commentaries! ^_^
I need some help here
Date: 21 Sep 2021 03:34 pm (UTC)