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That was about two years of rewriting (though admittedly, with a new job that's taken a lot more of my time, in the middle). And then some more rewriting, and some tearing apart, and another chunk of rewriting. But it's done. Total count: 120,180 words. I finally mastered the art of the scalpel, and got the story down from a high of about 145K, which is just bonkers.

The enemy has two religious orders, six noble allies, and three armies. Kini has two sticks, quick wits, and a big mouth.

When Takau mountain chooses a new guardian, Kini is dismayed to discover the mountain-spirit is nothing like the awe-inspiring creatures of legend. It's also injured, naive, and strangely terrified of temple monks. In both compassion and audacity—she's only a widow in her sister's household—Kini preempts the mountain priests and declares herself the guardian's attendant.

But powerful interests—monks, nobles, even mercenaries—want the guardian for their own, and being the attendant makes Kini a target, too. When she's attacked, the seemingly helpless guardian shocks Kini by saving her life. Scared both of leading the enemy back to her family and of leaving the only home she's known, Kini takes the guardian and flees the mountain. Her one hope lies in asking the provincial lord for protection, but even the lord may not be able to stand against the temple's military forces.

Kini will have to think fast and talk faster if she's to keep the guardian safe. If she fails, the guardian will lose its freedom—and she'll lose her life. But if she succeeds, it may be her family that pays the price.

THE WEAVING GIRL'S ORCHARD is a 120,000 word epic fantasy, set in a world inspired by the great trading empires and sea-banditry networks of early modern Southeast Asia.

For those of you who were cheered on the first draft, if you want to see what it's become, I've got it posted in four parts on google drive. All comments are screened, so leave me your email address if you want to read the final/mostly-final/damn-near-final-final version.

Now I just gotta write the synopsis. Onward!

This is not entirely out of only curiosity, but in the wake of LJ dying its ongoing slow death, the rise of tumblr & instagram, the spammy desert of delicious, and the domination of pinterest, where does fandom mostly reside, now? Outside of behemoths like fanfiction.net and deviantart, there doesn't seem to be a central gathering place (application/site) for major active communities. Or is there, and I'm just not seeing/hearing about it?

Considering that once upon a time, one could post images, fic, vids, and whatnot to LJ, on one's own journal as well as on a community journal, is there any one place that handles all the fannish activity, now? Or is it all truly broken into pieces?

Can anyone help me figure out the actual meaning & the likely kana (kanji not required unless it's really obvious)? I asked CP, but he's not sure he's getting all of it, so I was hoping someone else could tell me what's being said, and how it'd be written.

http://www.karinoyo.com/media/kusuriuri.mp3

I do have the subber's version, but CP tells me it's not even general-idea by general-idea. I wasn't expecting word-for-word (duh) but I was wondering the general strokes, to make sure that snagging the part I want was the right part.

From the subtitles:

'At first, I intended only to draw you out, then leave you to your own devices, but maintaining the status quo is so terribly dull. I simply had to meddle a little.'

I want the part that amounts to '[but] maintaining...' etc.

translation #1, from CP:

とうしょはあなたおのことをききだすだけで；
あとはほっていをこうかとおもったのですが、
そのままというもの、あんまりふびなもので、
ついおせっかいを。

At first it was just to get a rise out of you;
later I thought I’d extract a high price,
but with such an inadequate state,
I just had to interfere.

translation #2, from ramenkuri:

当初は、あなたの事を聞き出すだけで
後は放っておこうと思ったのですが
そのまま。。。と言うのもあんまりにも不倫なものでつい　
お節介を

At the time, I just wanted to get information
about you (out of someone?), and then leave it alone,
but leaving it like that...that would have been far too immoral
so I couldn't help meddling

with note that, "I may be wrong in putting 不倫 in there, but I'm pretty sure that's what he's saying. The other possibility is ふびん - which depending on the story might be more appropriate."

while I a) get an app architected for a start-up, b) wonder if

annotated_em missed the last scene or is also buried in work, and c) figure out the best balance of characters to kill off in the next scene.

decisions, decisions.

Not sure if this will work, but it's definitely one for

umadoshi: sheep riding!

I wish I'd had this mental framework years ago. Welp, at least I have it now.

"How to train your internal editor" (Watch on YouTube)

Alright, I'm now on Ello as afishtrap. If you're there, come find me.

Alright, I've heard enough about Ello that I figure, wth. Is there someone I can bribe with appropriately over-the-top flattery enough to get an invite, or do I just sit and wait on their waiting list, or what? Suggestions, thoughts, arguments that I should stick with twitter?

This summer I attended a writing retreat, and the critique I got back from the instructor made a number of corrections in capitalization. I was kinda like, hunh? because no one else has ever noted an issue with the same, until nagasvoice's comment in another post.

(I don't recall ever being taught the rules of punctuation/grammer/capitalizing in school -- fiction-writing wasn't ever a major focus, as I recall -- so I've mostly gone by what I read in books, and using that style. I guess you could say osmosis and a bit of logical guesswork taught me things like that punctuation goes inside the quotes (at least in US-based publications), etc.)

Normally, I'd write a sentence with dialogue like this.

"Hello," they said.

The entire sentence is hello-they-said. First word is 'hello', so it's capitalized. Since 'they' is not the first word and not a proper-name, it's not capitalized. Thus, it made sense to me that when the order is rearranged, the capitalizing is also rearranged:

They said, "hello."

I'm pretty sure this is a pattern I've read plenty, 'cause I had to have gotten the impression from somewhere that this is alright. It's also why/how I learned that when you've got a tag in the middle, capitalizing is still applied as an overall:

"Yesterday," she said, "it was sunny."

First, 'yesterday' is the first word. Second, the actual sentence -- 'yesterday it was sunny' is an entire sentence and the tag 'she said' is just inserted. Similar to the way if I had [ed: hi there] in the middle, it inserts, not halts the sentence and forces a new one. It's like a paren.

In my mind, if I've got a sentence like the following:

"Yesterday it was sunny," she said. "We napped."

...then the "we" gets capitalized because it's a new sentence; if it hadn't been, then it'd be a comma after 'said', not a period, and there'd need to be some kind of a tag -- ie, 'and', 'but', etc -- before 'we' to indicate there was more to the first sentence.

I'm not sure whether this is a house-style thing or just something I've completely misread/ignored all these years.

Anyone?

For those of you who'd read before and were sitting on the urge to critique, you can get your chance now. I'm working my way through revising the first story. Formerly known as Tsiu 1, now (working title, at least) Weaving Girl's Orchard.

If you want to get on the filter, shoot me a reply. Since I'll be posting again from the beginning, you don't have to have read it already.

current teaser-draft:

Kini has always abided by her family's rule: work hard and keep your head down. It's the only way to survive when your mountain village straddles the border between hostile provinces. When an injured mountain-spirit is threatened, Kini is the only one willing to protect it. She'll have to navigate between treacherous monks and suspicious nobles, in a province on the brink of war, if she's to save a lost mountain-spirit who may not even be what it seems.

First chapter is here.

Welp, I took a break and read/listened to some really good advice about structuring and pacing things, and realized that tackling the first story changed things so much that the impact would filter down. So, rather than continue on with the 3rd story, I'm going back to the beginning and doing a major revision on the 1st story.

First chapter, y'all, hot off the keyboard.

The lion-dogs were playing in the clearing when Kini arrived at the shrine. The two rock-gray puppies tumbled through the drifts of early autumn leaves, more intent on chasing a red-winged flit than paying Kini any mind. Their thick curly manes were tangled with sticks and bits of leaves, and their pink tongues lolled. They weren’t much higher than her knees, about the size of small stone guardians.

That seemed fitting. It was a rather small shrine, after all.

Well, then. Her sister had said if the dogs were around, then the huokei would be, too. Kini shuffled through the rain-damp leaves, kicking them aside to find the stepping stones that marked the proper path. The shrine itself wasn't much bigger than the moss-eaten idol it housed, and it listed precariously to one side. Its roof-shingles were green from weeds taken root, and the carved doors hung askew on their rotting wooden hinges.

Behind and to one side lay the monk-house, now a jumble of rotting wood and broken roof-tiles. In the clearing's other corner stood the mountain-god’s home, a fancy term for little more than a hut on stilts. In Sizija, it was a mansion in its own right, three rooms only ever seen by the mountain-god and its attendants. Here, it was one room, maybe not even big enough for one person to sleep. No wonder the mountain-god had been so happy to move to the big shrine.

Huokei were shy, preferred solitude, and would play nasty tricks if they felt disrespected, but this huokei had been injured. The big shrine at Sizija would've given it proper hospitality, but that was two miles away. The two rooms in their house were already crammed with five children and three adults, so that wasn't an option, either. The only choice left was this forgotten shrine-yard, with the benefit that it was closer to where Sozu found the huokei. To Kini's mind, though, the shrine's solitude lay solely in being abandoned. She wasn't sure it qualified as being respectful to offer what no one else wanted.

( Kini sighed. Now she was stuck delivering the offerings. )

You know it's been awhile since you've posted, when you totally forget to do a cut on a really long post.

Yep, definitely out of the habit.

Was thinking I'd go with titles based on constellations*, which in turn have legends (in the story's world) that relate to a story's themes. So far I've got the following + the constellation's basic theme. Some of these have also already been referenced in drafts, though I was still solidifying what was where and the references/uses.

( Short pondering behind the cut. )

I used to come up with names so much easier than I do now. I have no idea why it's gotten so hard.

Back from the writing retreat, and did get a bunch written (but did a lot more talking than writing, which was fine and very informative and whatnot). Here's one snippet written as 'homework', because our crit-leader was ~~mean~~ teacherly like that.

Khuojeung eased himself into the cushioned seat while Yuon's guard tested the tea. With a slight bow, the man backed away: not poisoned.

"Khuo, you've no decent reason to haul your ass out of that sick bed." Yuon poured tea for both of them and set the pot aside. "I could order you back to bed, you know."

"And I would have to go, of course, but then you'd miss the pleasure of my company."

"I'd also miss the guilt of knowing you weren't resting."

Khuojeung smiled and tried the tea. Dark, with hints of nutmeg and cardamon, the latest fashion in Huulqulku spiced tea. "I'm here for a reason."

"I didn't think you were here to discuss the tides." Yuon picked up her own cup and sat back, pushing her thick braid over her shoulder. Her hair held a few more strands of silver than she'd had the last time the cousins had seen each other, almost a year before. "You'd better not be here to discuss my littlest--" She halted at Khuojeung's smile, and set her cup down on the table hard enough to splash tea. "Oh, don't even. I've wasted enough time on him already."

( Really? From what I've seen, you've done your best to forget he exists. )

I thought I'd bookmarked the review, to buy the book later, but apparently not. I've been through my browsing history for the past two months and ugh, maybe I'm looking right past it. I am left with no choice but to throw myself on the intarweebs and hope one of you might recognize this.

I think either historical fiction, or historical fantasy -- at the very least, alt-history. For some reason, I'm thinking renaissance era, like Venice or Milan (because apparently Italy was the entirety of the renaissance, but whatevs). The only plot-point I remember was that in this alt-history (or maybe secondary world altogether?) families could promise their daughters to a higher-born daughter, in a kind of promise/wedding. Sort of like being given as a companion.

And I remember thinking, that's a pretty cool change on things, I want to read that. Except now I can't for the life of me remember the title, or anything else pertinent, to google for it. Does this ring a bell for anyone else?

From PsGels' summer preview post:

OH GOD NO! The new season of Kuroshitsuji has a completely new staff behind it. Noriyuki Abe is actually a very skilled director: before directing Bleach he gave us Great Teacher Onizuka, and that was no fluke even with a very strong source material. Kuroshitsuji is exactly the kind of series that can get something great out of him again. The first two seasons were adapted by Mari Okada, and this actually fitted her very well as a series with the craziness that went on. For season three though… we have to deal with Uber-troll Hiroyuki Yoshino. If you don’t know him, be glad. This is the guy who wrote the original story for Seikon no Qwaser, Guilty Crown, Code Geass, Mai Otome. This guy writes grandiose stories which are often so grandiose and convoluted that they collapse in on themselves. His stories are hardly ever complete, even when well written. You’re almost guaranteed to get a completely botched up ending here, even though the endings are what I loved about the first two seasons of Kuroshitsuji. And to make things even worse, Ichiro Okouchi, the original creator of Code Geass and the writer of Valvrave is joining in for the scripts!

I'll probably watch it anyway, even if I spend 90% of that time cringing, because holy crap, who let the Guilty Crown guy in here? ...and I thought the second season was trollish.

omg, wtf is up with all the hoods on fantasy covers? I'd seen reviewers complaining but I figured, oh, it can't be that bad. omfg, it's worse. who started this trend? someone find that person and punch them. please.

( Quick reviews for: The Thousand Names, The Cloud Roads, The Serpent Sea, The Siren Depths, The Tainted City, The Wall of Night, The Briar King, The Magpie Lord, A Case of Possession, Too Many Fairy Princes, Traitor's Blade, The Final Empire, The Well of Ascension )

Now reading:
The Red Wolf Conspiracy - Robert Redick
The Innocent Mage - Karen Miller
Throne of the Crescent Moon - Saladin Ahmed

Up next:
The Killing Moon - NK Jemisin
Sword of Fire and Sea - Erin Hoffman
The War with the Mein - David Anthony Durham

Two stories now that I really would've liked to like, but the more I read of each, the harder a time I had with them. Here's the relevant parts from each teaser. From The Lascar's Dagger:

Saker appears to be a simple priest, but in truth he's a spy for the head of his faith. Wounded in the line of duty by a Lascar sailor's blade, the weapon seems to follow him home. Unable to discard it, nor the sense of responsibility it brings, Saker can only follow its lead.

And from The Alchemist of Souls:

When Tudor explorers returned from the New World, they brought back a name out of half-forgotten Viking legend: skraylings. Red-sailed ships followed in the explorers’ wake, bringing Native American goods--and a skrayling ambassador--to London. But what do these seemingly magical beings really want in Elizabeth I’s capital?

The problem is that in both cases, these seemingly magical beings are real people.

I've run across lascars a few times in my own research, but they're not a well-known culture in the west. Wikipedia has a halfway decent entry on them, which summarizes things well enough:

A lascar (Lashkar, Laskar) ... was a sailor or militiaman from the Indian Subcontinent or other countries east of the Cape of Good Hope, employed on European ships from the 16th century until the beginning of the 20th century. The word comes from the Persian Lashkar, meaning military camp or army, and al-askar, the Arabic word for a guard or soldier. The Portuguese adapted this term to lascarim, meaning an Asian militiaman or seaman, especially those from the Indian Subcontinent. Lascars served on British ships under 'lascar' agreements. ... The name lascar was also used to refer to Indian servants, typically engaged by British military officers.

( Despite much digging on my part, there isn't a lot of Western/English study on the lascars. )

The Coffee Trader, Whitefire Crossing, Arcanum. I really think the The Lascar's Dagger deserves its own post, for reasons that will become clear.

First: I really, really want to like David Liss' work. It's historical fiction, covering a place and time and culture that really doesn't get enough press: the Jewish finance community in Amsterdam, in the late sixteen-hundreds or thereabouts. This one in particular is about a Portuguese-Jew who moved to Amsterdam with the exodus, and was doing alright until a few bad decisions have landed him in hard times and hot water with just about everyone. A non-Jewish widow of his acquaintance has an idea to corner the market on this new commodity called coffee, but wrapped up in that is the character's sister-in-law, a meddling and somewhat abusive maid, another Jewish trader of major social standing who has it in for the protagonist, the aforementioned widow, a guy ruined by his investments in the protagonist's financial disaster, and a whole bunch more, all of whom have their own agendas and methods and motivations.

It's just... they're all such jerks, even our hero, who seems to want to put himself forward as a helpless ninny who's been cast about by fortune's disfavor, but sheesh. If I wanted suffocating world-building, the tiny and (apparently) leaning-towards-orthodox, highly regimented and self-supervised community of Jews in Amsterdam are clearly it. Given the narrative makes clear the Dutch are pretty live-and-let-live, it's almost insane that the Jews create a community for themselves that's almost as repressive as any Soviet regime. I mean, it's crazy-making. I fail to see how any of the characters haven't just broken and run mad down the street.

( Various comments and complaints and whatnot behind the cut. )

Alright, onto the one that I really, really did want to like, as much as I want to like The Coffee Trader -- similar time-period to Liss' work, alt-history, taking the bones of the original and grinding a lot of it up with a heaping of original ideas, much like The Thief series. Except some important stuff got left out while something bordering on appropriation got left in, among other things.

Went through a storm of book-reading: The Goblin Emporer, The Coffee Trader, The Thief/The Queen of Attolia/The King of Attolia/A Conspiracy of Kings, Whitefire Crossing, The Spirit Thief, Arcanum, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, The Lascar's Dagger.

To get a few out of the way: yes, I adored The Goblin Emperor. Maia is non-angsty (but damaged all the same), lonely, compassionate, and above all else, genuinely good. There were more than a few scenes that in a quiet, understated way, simply broke my heart. It's not a YA-style everything-amped-to-eleven. It's a quiet story; when complete, you realize there wasn't truly a bad guy in the classic fantasy sense, and the one main conflict hinged on building a bridge over a river, but somehow it all works despite that, or maybe because of that.

The one major complaint? I would've much preferred if the naming scheme had been introduced before the story, rather than after it; it was damn hard to keep track of who-was-who, and I say that as someone pretty well-versed in reading extensive historical treatises where names change and/or are fluid and most definitely are not in English. I just couldn't parse the pattern from the text, and a short intro note would've been helpful.

Many things I liked (Maia chiefly, of course), but especially how his world -- no matter how suffocating, as it consists entirely of the court -- is still immensely populated. The author is really skillful at giving you enough people in a scene to make it feel crowded, without the sense that you'll be quizzed later on these teeny details; what's important to remember gets emphasized in just enough way that it stands out even more. In terms of craft, that's a rare and valuable skill.

( Behind the cut: Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, The Spirit Thief, The Thief/Queen of Attolia/King of Attolia/Conspiracy of Kings. )

Any way you look at it, minor quibbles are minor. I'd still recommend The Goblin Emperor and the four Thief books, unequivocally. The others, YMMV, and who knows, I may change my take if the stories pick up.

More in next part.

whois

锴 angry fishtrap 狗

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"When you make the finding yourself— even if you're the last person on Earth to see the light— you'll never forget it." —Carl Sagan

October 2016

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~ if you're going through hell, keep going

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DONE!

question for fandom

kana & translation?

slight delay

furuba flashbacks!

useful info

find me

ello

capitalization style question

onward, revisions

the weaving girl's orchard, ch1 (rev)

well.

Argh, I hate picking titles.

a little bit of the past week

I cannot find this book.

kuroshitsuji news: oh, crap

other stories read

a case of really not thinking this through

what else I've been reading

just-finished books, pt 1

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October 2016

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