cry havoc

My god. Even I'm better at staying on topic than that woman.

Dear search function programmers:

There is just something terribly, terribly wrong with your bookselling site's search functionality when I'm perusing the third page of "paranormal dark fantasy romance" and I scroll past Anne of Green Gables. Terribly, terribly wrong.

Nolove, me.

Following links while researching, and stumbled over what appeared to be the start of a good forum thread, archived somewhere in google’s depths. What are the qualities of a good visual-media (television, music video, movie) work? First respondent goes for the relativist approach: “a good video is measured by how large an effect it has on the audience.”

Whereupon a long thread ensued, arguing over whether or not special effects are really required, including naming plenty of editors & directors who’ve not used any effects. Scroll through all this to the entry at the bottom of the page, which says, “guys, I think he meant ‘effect’ as in impact, not CGI.”

Curious, that seemed to have stopped the conversation dead in its tracks.

Kids these days, I swear.

It just occured to me -- as I peruse the last installment in the T/Q series -- that part of the difficulty in writing Trowa's experiences is because somewhere along the lines, my mental version of Trowa has become inextricably tangled with the one person I've met in real life who is, undoubtedly, a Trowa through-and-through. He's easy-going, though has his own set of internal principles and will only budge after great effort, can be amazingly coarse in one situation and quite gentlemanly in others, more likely to smile and nod during a conversation -- until you get him talking and then he bloody well won't shut up, has a lovely deep voice, and, I should mention, is 6'3".

Which is all amusing, and fodder for characterization-basis, except... he's my sister's boyfriend.

And, frankly, the contemplation of mixing sex-related thoughts and anything to do with my little sister -- okay, even one-step-removed! -- is just... ewww.

From the ofic boards where I often hang, in a discussion I started on science fiction vs. fantasy in genre definition. Quoting someone else's explanation, and my utterly random response.

For example: Your hero and his companions turn a corner and find a dragon blocking their path. You have the understandable need to describe the critter standing there. Your focus on the "weird and unusual" in the story will determine if it's SF or Fantasy.

If you automatically write about the dragon's biological nature (with or without reproductive cycle), the whys and wherefores of it breathing fire and the psychology of fighting them, you're writing SF.

I suddenly had this vision of writing a scene something along the lines of:



Their voices were hushed in the city twilight, footfalls echoing on concrete. Jake turned a left, Fred right on his heels, only to slam into Jake's back.

"What the---" Fred looked past Jake, and goggled.

A six-foot tall dragon stood blocking their path. Fred studied its build, automatically noting its structure was similiar to Varanus komodoensis, although the Komodo dragons weren't known to stand on their hind legs, nor did they spout fire. He sniffed cautiously; this dragon was using a volatile combination of sulfur and something sweet. Fred suspected it was chromium dioxide, often known to be secreted in the nostril passages of some members of Alligator sinensis. The skin was mottled green, with raised ridges above the cold repetilian eyes. The dragon had claws easily ten centimeters in length; it bared its teeth, revealing sharp fangs that glittered like little scalpels. Fred swallowed hard; if the dragon was a close relation to Varanus komodoensis, the saliva was probably deadly as well.

But his eyes widened at the sight of the dragon's posture. Fred inched closer to Jake, keeping his voice low.

"Don't make any sudden moves," he hissed. "Or it'll jump us."

"Hunh?" Jake gave him a wild-eyed look. "Man, it's a dragon! It's a frickin' dragon, in downtown---"

"Shut up," Fred snapped, still keeping his voice low. "See that? He's exposing a pair of hemipenes from his cloaca."

"Dude." Jake glanced at the dragon, then back at Fred. "Wait..in English?"

"He's in heat, man."

Bwahahahaha.

*cough*

I crack myself up sometimes.


...And now I have three people on that forum demanding I FINISH the story. FINISH it? What's there to FINISH? Heh. I told 'em the board doesn't allow bestia--err, erotica. Nyah.

"SCIENTISTS SAY SOL IS COMPREHENSIBLE"
excerpt from Cahokia Town Journal
(printed monthly, subscription availble for $5 in three easy payments)
page 6, back cover, reprinted from Weekly World News

( The Journal for Ethnomyogenetic Studies has released a long-awaited white paper... )

The scary thing is that the folks who know me in person might actually agree with a number of these...