this is not my happy face.

[kaigou]

I have an interview tomorrow. (Nothing big there, been on the search for a few weeks now, but that's another story involving many complaints about the "hot new title" in my industry and the number of managers who seem to be renaming all sorts of non-title jobs to the title, and wasting my time in interviews.) This position is not confused (as far as I can tell, at least) about the title/definition, but it's...

Well, it's a lunch interview.

Y'know, there's a reason I use my initials on my resume and my portfolio and my online site. Not just the basics of not letting anyone have the option of assuming that because I am Gender A or Gender B that I can (or can't) do the job. But also because I've done my share of interviews-in-bars, and interviews-at-lunch, and while I'm not 18 anymore (so I doubt it's necessarily the exact same dynamics), I can't forget those lessons. Lunches are what you do with friends, and dates. You are not on a date with your potential employer, and the casual situation makes it too easy for some guys (already in a position of power via gender, and then as potential employer) to make things even murkier.

Sign me up so very not.

On top of that, I did a search for restaurants around the office's location, because I want to know what else to suggest in case the primary suggestion is Italian. (Pasta, you're great, but you attack people who eat you, and same for you, Pho.) Oh, look, it's nothing but bar food. Independently owned, but you can't tell me that Joe's Bar, Logan's Bar, and something-or-other Bar & Grill, times ten, is going to be anything other than, well, bar food. I loathe bar food. Not because it's bad, but because it's boring. Life is too goddamn short to eat bar food.

(And life is way too goddamn short to eat what American bars believe passes for Irish food. You Irish on my flist, you know I like you, but the American bar concept of Irish food leaves a great deal to be desired.)

Or we could walk the two blocks to the nearest acceptable restaurant -- a Thai place. A quarter-mile away (about two blocks and hang a right, go a block). In 101F heat. For a fucking job interview.

And then I must ask: am I going to be expected to pay for my half? Why? I didn't ask to go on this fucking lunch date. I'd be just as happy not having to walk anywhere in 101F heat at 1pm, thank you, and I'd be just fine sitting in a nice, cool, air-conditioned conference room for an hour. And I wouldn't even have to pay for the benefit of being forced to stomach bar food.

Oh! And I could do it WITHOUT HAVING TO TALK OVER THE UBIQUITOUS TELEVISION IN THE GODDAMN BACKGROUND.

I mean, I don't mind going out to eat. But if I'm going to pay for it, then I want to eat something I enjoy eating, and on top of that, I want to eat it with someone I want to be with. That list of people is really fucking short, and it does not include -- nor will it ever include -- an employer, let alone a potential employer. I am not interested in a fucking social life as part of my job. And I sure as hell don't want to be fighting to keep my attention solid, while choking down bar food, and trying to hear someone (or yell at someone) over the goddamn background noise. Is this an interview, or the equivalent of an introvert's stress test? And I'm supposed to pay for this pleasure?

I really hope I get word in the morning from the second interview with that other company. The one that -- ironically enough -- has offices within walking distance of one of the town's best sushi restaurants. I'm addicted to their sushi. But I still wouldn't go there for an interview.

Comments

[sharibet]

Good luck on the interview!

I share your loathing of lunch interviews. In my experience, the potential employer always pays for a candidate's lunch. If they don't, that's a big red flag.

However, my objection to lunch interviews isn't necessarily the food--it's the trial of trying to appear witty and intelligent and sane while simultaneously eating and trying not to talk with my mouth full. "Bar food," by which I'm picturing deep-fried items consumed with your fingers, doesn't really lend itself to looking poised and professional, either. Sigh.

[kaigou]

Deep-fried or not, eating with your fingers is a sensual act. It is certainly not what I would ever want to do in front of someone who is NOT either a very good friend (and understands the boundaries) or a lover (who knows s/he has permission to cross). I think that's a big part of why fingerfoods aren't professional, because we know on some level that there's more going on, in the body language and implications. It's already a nerve-wracking situation. I don't like that some people do tend to interpret "nerves" as a sign of, bluntly, being turned on (or more likely, just as a sign of "oh the person is attracted to me").

Beyond that, even if I were being interviewed by someone of the same gender, I'd still find it annoying. What the hell am I supposed to get out of the interview, to let me know whether I want to work for the company? I'm not seeing any glimpse of the rest of the environment, I'm not picking up the vibes of the place, and in all honesty I'm actually thinking: what are they trying to hide, that they won't even have me on-site?

(oh, whoops, let my acct expire and now I can't edit, damn it.)

[kathmandu]

Purely hypothetically, the first thing that comes to mind as "why won't they have you on-site" is that maybe they're screening replacements for someone they haven't fired yet. Stealth interviews would have to be conducted off-site.

My advice falls into two parts: keep a running count of the red flags, because it sounds like the list is rapidly growing; and think of the 'lunch' as props. A drink to sip while thinking what to say, and food to toy with for fitting-in and redirecting-attention purposes. Eat your real meal after, when you can relax more.

[kaigou]

The "not fired yet" is certainly an option, though it makes me just that much more leery: if they're not being above-board with their current employees, then could I really expect any honesty, myself? I know companies do it, but it still seems like a low thing to do.

I think, to some degree, if the setup specified two interviewers, then I wouldn't feel quite as... pinned. I'd also feel like I'd be able to see the dynamics between some of the people, to give me some sense, like I'd normally get watching the interviewer walking next to me through the office on the way to whatever meeting room. Here, I feel like I'm just going in completely blind. The interviewer may get something from me, but I'll be gaining nothing except possibly another restaurant to put on my "oh bloody hell, you couldn't pay me enough to ever eat there again" list.

If I can't demand kosher (since to be honest, I wasn't raised kosher so I can remember only the part about pork and... bacon, and, uhm, no cheese with bacon, or... uhm...), it's too bad the Korean place is a four-block walk. Like I said above, I'm ornery enough that if given free rein, I'd pick a place just to test the interviewer to see whether he's all that open to unusual non-American cuisine.

Overall, I'm just getting the sense that this is an interview process specifically designed to make an introvert as miserable as possible. And it's working so well, I'm already halfway to misery and it's still twelve hours before the actual interview! Color me impressed.

I think I may have to take a second shower before I go to bed. The sarcasm is dripping off me pretty heavily.

[soukup]

You could always try being the shining example of forthrightness and simply asking your interviewer up front why you aren't being shown your future workspace. That's a logical question to have, and even phrased very politely it'll make it quietly obvious to him that this was a weird way to do things.

OTOH, if you're feeling annoyed enough about this whole thing, you could always eat before you arrive and then when he asks why you aren't ordering any food, very sweetly explain that you have dietary restrictions. /passive-agressive.

[kaigou]

I asked the recruiter, instead, since that seemed like a good halfway point (and to express my worries, before the interview). Her response: "that's a really good question." *sigh*

I think it's part of some kind of holdover from the dot-com days, like, "we're a flat company! we make joint decisions! we're all about hte casual!" ... which is fine and everything, except that we all saw exactly what happened to the dot-coms, so don't blame me if I don't hold my fucking breath believing that flat hierarchies that make joint decisions and have beer parties are the ultimate key to a company's success.

*eyeroll*

[soukup]

(Oops, didn't notice what time it was before I commented. Here's hoping it went well, anyway!)