please, remember the kittens.
4 Jul 2007 03:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaigouI just read a short fanfic in which a character has sex.
A day after suffering two broken ribs.
Wow.
That was painful.
I speak as someone who's had two cracked ribs, and I was hardly a slacking low-endurance body at the time, either; all muscle and in top shape don't mean jack when your chest's been crushed.
Dude, just breathing is excruciating. Let's not even get into the agony of having to sit up, walk any distance, sit back down, and then get up again. Not to mention the rather ill-inducing experience of finally managing to get your shirt off only to look down and see your entire chest is one massive welt of dark purple-blue. No, it does not improve matters as the massive bruise fades to deep green to a lurid shade of yellow-lime. Besides, when you're capable of doing over four hundred crunches and not even breathing hard and the doctor still tells you "no intense physical activity for a month," your first reaction is disbelief. Why not? Define "intense", buddy, I eat intense for breakfast!
...and then I tried to sit up by myself. Holy crap, okay, that qualified as intense.
Believe me, the last thing on my mind was anything even remotely as energetic as trotting up a flight of stairs, let alone sex. But it was frustrating, now that I think about it. I seriously was used to being able to demand my body do whatever I wanted, without twinging or aching; to be unable to get myself out of the car without a bit of help was infuriating, and humiliating, even. It didn't matter that the weakness/helplessness was temporary (and hardly my personal fault). I hated feeling that weak, and I hated feeling like my body betrayed me.
Someday, I'm going to track down all these folks who seem to think Healing SexTM is a great idea, and I'm going to gleefully offer to fracture a rib for each of them. Just a fracture, not even a complete break, and we'll see just how joyful they each feel about the notion of a strenuous, energetic, muscle-tensing activity like, say, SEX.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
A day after suffering two broken ribs.
Wow.
That was painful.
I speak as someone who's had two cracked ribs, and I was hardly a slacking low-endurance body at the time, either; all muscle and in top shape don't mean jack when your chest's been crushed.
Dude, just breathing is excruciating. Let's not even get into the agony of having to sit up, walk any distance, sit back down, and then get up again. Not to mention the rather ill-inducing experience of finally managing to get your shirt off only to look down and see your entire chest is one massive welt of dark purple-blue. No, it does not improve matters as the massive bruise fades to deep green to a lurid shade of yellow-lime. Besides, when you're capable of doing over four hundred crunches and not even breathing hard and the doctor still tells you "no intense physical activity for a month," your first reaction is disbelief. Why not? Define "intense", buddy, I eat intense for breakfast!
...and then I tried to sit up by myself. Holy crap, okay, that qualified as intense.
Believe me, the last thing on my mind was anything even remotely as energetic as trotting up a flight of stairs, let alone sex. But it was frustrating, now that I think about it. I seriously was used to being able to demand my body do whatever I wanted, without twinging or aching; to be unable to get myself out of the car without a bit of help was infuriating, and humiliating, even. It didn't matter that the weakness/helplessness was temporary (and hardly my personal fault). I hated feeling that weak, and I hated feeling like my body betrayed me.
Someday, I'm going to track down all these folks who seem to think Healing SexTM is a great idea, and I'm going to gleefully offer to fracture a rib for each of them. Just a fracture, not even a complete break, and we'll see just how joyful they each feel about the notion of a strenuous, energetic, muscle-tensing activity like, say, SEX.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
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no subject
Date: 4 Jul 2007 09:03 am (UTC)I was wondering if you still had a copy of the Creek at White's Crossing you might be able to email me.... I'd like to read that again.
If not, that's cool, too.
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Date: 4 Jul 2007 09:35 am (UTC)*thinks*
Oh, man. I'm sure I do -- probably burned it on one of my archive disks -- but no idea where. (Not to mention it's probably a doc per chapter, so that's, what, 20 separate docs? 25?)
I'm off to bed but I promise to try and remember to dig for it tomorrow. That okay?
no subject
Date: 4 Jul 2007 10:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Oct 2012 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Oct 2012 07:40 am (UTC)I'd send if it were actually accessible, but I don't really have the energy for the archeological dig that it'd probably require. Really sorry!
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Date: 14 Oct 2012 05:54 pm (UTC)Did you give Aishuu a copy back in the day? I might try asking her...
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Date: 4 Jul 2007 10:33 am (UTC)It's not just Healing Sex, it's Healing Cock of Love. Because a vagina just doesn't have the same medicinal and uplifting spiritual properties of a penis.
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Date: 5 Jul 2007 09:36 am (UTC)On the other hand, if the internet had been around *cough* while I was in HS, it could've been a dangerous thing. A crew team is hardly the most well-behaved set of critters off the water, and I just know we would've been yelling things as we got on the bus to go home like, "damn, doing starts the entire practice, and I could really use me some Healing Cock!"
Wouldn't have mattered that 90% of us had never seen one outside of biology textbooks. We were the ones who'd yell across the water to our coach that we couldn't do a 500-meter piece because our uteruses were falling out.
Reminds me of when I asked my mom about why she liked the song Louie Louie when the lyrics made no sense. She said, "oh, there are lyrics." I asked what they were. She said, "depends on who you ask." I was left with that mystery until I asked one of her college classmates, who explained that when a bunch of them had roadtripped down to visit boys at the major university, that The Boys had attempted to sing 'their' version of the lyrics, expecting the girls to be mortified. My mother and her friends were unimpressed, and replied by singing their version of the lyrics, and when done, found all the boys were hiding under various pieces of furniture.
*sigh*
Yeah, probably a good thing I pre-date the internet. Maybe.
Heh.
no subject
Date: 4 Jul 2007 02:30 pm (UTC)Perhaps S&M is on the rise. Or idiocy.
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Date: 5 Jul 2007 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 4 Jul 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)HA. If it's good enough that you come, then it's a whole-body experience... broken ribs and all.
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Date: 5 Jul 2007 09:38 am (UTC)OMFG, you totally win the intarweebs for that one.
*dies laughing*
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Date: 5 Jul 2007 02:34 pm (UTC)Ya gotta admit, some of these people you have to wonder if they even have a brain, when they're writing stuff that makes anyone halfway sensible say, "Wait a second, they did what? Wouldn't that, y'know, kill them?"
no subject
Date: 5 Jul 2007 07:40 am (UTC)