please, remember the kittens.
4 Jul 2007 03:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaigouI just read a short fanfic in which a character has sex.
A day after suffering two broken ribs.
Wow.
That was painful.
I speak as someone who's had two cracked ribs, and I was hardly a slacking low-endurance body at the time, either; all muscle and in top shape don't mean jack when your chest's been crushed.
Dude, just breathing is excruciating. Let's not even get into the agony of having to sit up, walk any distance, sit back down, and then get up again. Not to mention the rather ill-inducing experience of finally managing to get your shirt off only to look down and see your entire chest is one massive welt of dark purple-blue. No, it does not improve matters as the massive bruise fades to deep green to a lurid shade of yellow-lime. Besides, when you're capable of doing over four hundred crunches and not even breathing hard and the doctor still tells you "no intense physical activity for a month," your first reaction is disbelief. Why not? Define "intense", buddy, I eat intense for breakfast!
...and then I tried to sit up by myself. Holy crap, okay, that qualified as intense.
Believe me, the last thing on my mind was anything even remotely as energetic as trotting up a flight of stairs, let alone sex. But it was frustrating, now that I think about it. I seriously was used to being able to demand my body do whatever I wanted, without twinging or aching; to be unable to get myself out of the car without a bit of help was infuriating, and humiliating, even. It didn't matter that the weakness/helplessness was temporary (and hardly my personal fault). I hated feeling that weak, and I hated feeling like my body betrayed me.
Someday, I'm going to track down all these folks who seem to think Healing SexTM is a great idea, and I'm going to gleefully offer to fracture a rib for each of them. Just a fracture, not even a complete break, and we'll see just how joyful they each feel about the notion of a strenuous, energetic, muscle-tensing activity like, say, SEX.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
A day after suffering two broken ribs.
Wow.
That was painful.
I speak as someone who's had two cracked ribs, and I was hardly a slacking low-endurance body at the time, either; all muscle and in top shape don't mean jack when your chest's been crushed.
Dude, just breathing is excruciating. Let's not even get into the agony of having to sit up, walk any distance, sit back down, and then get up again. Not to mention the rather ill-inducing experience of finally managing to get your shirt off only to look down and see your entire chest is one massive welt of dark purple-blue. No, it does not improve matters as the massive bruise fades to deep green to a lurid shade of yellow-lime. Besides, when you're capable of doing over four hundred crunches and not even breathing hard and the doctor still tells you "no intense physical activity for a month," your first reaction is disbelief. Why not? Define "intense", buddy, I eat intense for breakfast!
...and then I tried to sit up by myself. Holy crap, okay, that qualified as intense.
Believe me, the last thing on my mind was anything even remotely as energetic as trotting up a flight of stairs, let alone sex. But it was frustrating, now that I think about it. I seriously was used to being able to demand my body do whatever I wanted, without twinging or aching; to be unable to get myself out of the car without a bit of help was infuriating, and humiliating, even. It didn't matter that the weakness/helplessness was temporary (and hardly my personal fault). I hated feeling that weak, and I hated feeling like my body betrayed me.
Someday, I'm going to track down all these folks who seem to think Healing SexTM is a great idea, and I'm going to gleefully offer to fracture a rib for each of them. Just a fracture, not even a complete break, and we'll see just how joyful they each feel about the notion of a strenuous, energetic, muscle-tensing activity like, say, SEX.
Yeah, I didn't think so.