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kaigouI know I've got med-folks on my flist, somewhere out there, and I've got a bizarre medical hypothetical for ya. Any other folks with reasonable (or failing that, amusing) ideas also welcome.
Let's say I like to wear a bracelet per wrist. Each one is relatively close-fitting (about as close as the average watch band, let's say), and closes by such an ingenious mechanism that it'd take Houdini (or me being awake enough to instruct) to get out of the thing -- which means it's not coming off easily, and it won't come off with bolt-cutters since the band is too tight to get the cutter between skin and metal. AND, here's the kicker, for some reason (just GO WITH ME ON THIS ONE, okay?) it's decorated not with your usual gemstones or cheap charms but with rare-earth magnets. Y'know, the ones that will attach themselves to the nearest metallic object and not come off for love or money.
AND, finally, let's assume I'm passed out, say, post car-accident but without indications that major surgery is potential: heart is okay, no sign of bleeding, no indication of internal bleeding, but possible fractures, perhaps, and looking like maybe some exhaustion and/or alcohol and/or strong knock to the head. Basically, whatever combination gets me "passed-out and unable to answer questions BUT not likely to be rushed into O.R. right away and not on death's door", okay?
Is there some kind of EMT secret weapon that would/could remove even an 1"-wide metal bracelet fitted so closely?
If the jewelry is not easily removable, would it just be left alone?
(Although I would guess if, say, arm is broken! then bracelet would definitely have to come off before bone could be set/wrapped, right?)
Would the inclusion of the magnets mess with hospital/ambulance stuff? Would they mess with it REALLY badly or just kind of or not really much at all -- okay, except for maybe having arm suddenly attach itself securely to the gurney's handles, whoops.
Yeah, I know, crazy-crazy, don't ask, but really there's a reason for my madness. Really!
Let's say I like to wear a bracelet per wrist. Each one is relatively close-fitting (about as close as the average watch band, let's say), and closes by such an ingenious mechanism that it'd take Houdini (or me being awake enough to instruct) to get out of the thing -- which means it's not coming off easily, and it won't come off with bolt-cutters since the band is too tight to get the cutter between skin and metal. AND, here's the kicker, for some reason (just GO WITH ME ON THIS ONE, okay?) it's decorated not with your usual gemstones or cheap charms but with rare-earth magnets. Y'know, the ones that will attach themselves to the nearest metallic object and not come off for love or money.
AND, finally, let's assume I'm passed out, say, post car-accident but without indications that major surgery is potential: heart is okay, no sign of bleeding, no indication of internal bleeding, but possible fractures, perhaps, and looking like maybe some exhaustion and/or alcohol and/or strong knock to the head. Basically, whatever combination gets me "passed-out and unable to answer questions BUT not likely to be rushed into O.R. right away and not on death's door", okay?
Is there some kind of EMT secret weapon that would/could remove even an 1"-wide metal bracelet fitted so closely?
If the jewelry is not easily removable, would it just be left alone?
(Although I would guess if, say, arm is broken! then bracelet would definitely have to come off before bone could be set/wrapped, right?)
Would the inclusion of the magnets mess with hospital/ambulance stuff? Would they mess with it REALLY badly or just kind of or not really much at all -- okay, except for maybe having arm suddenly attach itself securely to the gurney's handles, whoops.
Yeah, I know, crazy-crazy, don't ask, but really there's a reason for my madness. Really!
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Date: 7 Nov 2008 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 8 Nov 2008 12:36 am (UTC)Or the time I called a sex shop to ask about cock rings and whether they had to be sized. Man, now, that was an amusing information-gathering exercise. And I have talked to swat teams about how they'd handle teenagers (under-18) post drug-raid, and talked to cops about whether they're supposed to carry guns pointing up or down when they're making their way through a building with potential attackers around, and there was that conversation I had with the mechanic about cutting brake lines...
People talk about how these days the govt is watching any email or phone correspondence that implies being up to no good. In which case, I betcha the FBI's file on me has got to be at least three inches thick, but at least hopefully it's good reading.