pick any word... just not that one.

[kaigou]

Here I am, reading again, and on page two, I find the protagonist is face-to-face with someone who's got a body made for lust. Based on references in the opening paragraphs, I'm guessing it's about the 1890s or so; also noted, the protag's surname is Baptiste and seems to be Parisien or at least has lived there for some time. I should probably mention, this is yet another variation on the vampire mythos (not my normal cup of tea, but I was willing to give it a try thanks to the twist in the teaser and a few reviews). Anyway, the protag comes around a corner and is greeted by the aforementioned body-made-for-lust. Fine, I'm still in the "read and see" mode, until I get to this sentence:

Schlepping his tongue across that stomach would be a salty, tasty treat.

Uhm. Now, I could be wrong, but last time I checked, "to schlep" is "to take an arduous or tedious journey", and "a schlep" is "a clumsy or stupid person". Neither exactly inspire quite the, erm, visual I think the author intended, let alone images of being a treat, regardless of salt content. I mean, my best guess is the author thinks "to schlep" means "to drag" -- but even "to drag" does imply pulling against a great weight. I'd say "sweep" might be a better word choice than "drag", but still... anything's better than "schlep".

Not to mention the reaction following close on the heels of that complaint: so this guy's a Jewish vampire? Hunh. Anyone got a Magen David handy?

Comments

[christeos-pir.livejournal.com]

[A young woman tries to fend off Shagail with a cross]
Shagail: Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire!

(you knew it was coming, didn't you)

[haya5h1.livejournal.com]

I suspect the deadly combination of (intended) onomatopoeia and spellcheck, in the conservatory with a lead pipe.

[chibidrunksanzo.livejournal.com]

You know, that makes me want to create a Jewish vampire. "Is this virgin kosher?"

[l-clausewitz.livejournal.com]

My idea too. A Jewish vampire would be exceedingly l337.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

I don't remember author/title, but there's at least one Jewish vampire story out there.

[christeos-pir.livejournal.com]

It's been done. See my link, above.

[okaasan59.livejournal.com]

I suppose a Jewish vampire have to be non-orthodox because of the kosher avoidance of consuming blood?

[sans-pertinence.livejournal.com]

Schlepping his tongue across that stomach would be a salty, tasty treat.

What. The fuck.

*aneurysm*

I'm not even going to ask. I probably don't want to know.

[kythiaranos.livejournal.com]

Eeesh. I'm sorry you had to encounter something like that. (Schlepping? His tongue?)

[meritjubet.livejournal.com]

I see the author had a fabulous editor. Sentence doesn't make much sense either... >.>