pick any word... just not that one.

[kaigou]

Here I am, reading again, and on page two, I find the protagonist is face-to-face with someone who's got a body made for lust. Based on references in the opening paragraphs, I'm guessing it's about the 1890s or so; also noted, the protag's surname is Baptiste and seems to be Parisien or at least has lived there for some time. I should probably mention, this is yet another variation on the vampire mythos (not my normal cup of tea, but I was willing to give it a try thanks to the twist in the teaser and a few reviews). Anyway, the protag comes around a corner and is greeted by the aforementioned body-made-for-lust. Fine, I'm still in the "read and see" mode, until I get to this sentence:

Schlepping his tongue across that stomach would be a salty, tasty treat.

Uhm. Now, I could be wrong, but last time I checked, "to schlep" is "to take an arduous or tedious journey", and "a schlep" is "a clumsy or stupid person". Neither exactly inspire quite the, erm, visual I think the author intended, let alone images of being a treat, regardless of salt content. I mean, my best guess is the author thinks "to schlep" means "to drag" -- but even "to drag" does imply pulling against a great weight. I'd say "sweep" might be a better word choice than "drag", but still... anything's better than "schlep".

Not to mention the reaction following close on the heels of that complaint: so this guy's a Jewish vampire? Hunh. Anyone got a Magen David handy?