stupid but quick question

[kaigou]

vegetarian = no eggs = no bread ... correct?

is this generally a hard-and-fast rule, enough to consider it a pretty safe assumption?


ETA: apparently the unclear part above is my expectation that bread contains eggs. Yes, as a matter of fact, bread can contain eggs -- pretty much my entire repertoire of bread-recipes all contain at least one egg. (Some of them contain two eggs, even, and some even have milk.) This is not to say I've never made bread without eggs -- I have -- but I don't much care for the texture or the reluctant timbre of the bread when working with it. With eggs, the bread is considerably silkier/smoother, and just more pleasant and easy to work with; thus it's not a headache to let it rise six times and really become amazingly-melty. Or shorter version: bread can contain eggs.

ETA the 2nd: I suppose it might've been less confusing if I'd asked about, say, angel food cake... for which my grandmother's recipe uses the whites of like a dozen eggs. I rarely make it, though, because I hate wasting a dozen egg yolks, but I'm never quite sure what to do with them...

Comments

[kaigou]

walking in and objecting loudly to the ways of ones hosts has its own problems

This is one reason why I'm an omnivore. My upbringing says you never decline what a host offers short of absolute religious grounds (which, being raised Episcopalian, we didn't have) or deathly allergies. Even then, you don't turn it down so much as only accept a little and then push it around on your plate so it's not obvious.

Or as my mother put it once, there is no insult greater than to refuse to eat what someone else has taken the time and energy to make for you. Absolute no insult greater, as a guest.

This is also how I've ended up choking down foods whose texture doesn't appeal to me, like tripe or liver, but I'd rather choke it down and feel a little ill than feel the worse crime of having offended my host. The first only lasts as long as it takes to clear the palate, but the second is unforgivable.

...which must be balanced out, of course, with the knowledge that it's equally unforgivable, as a host, to force one's guests to violate allergen/health or religious issues just to satisfy their role as guest. So I try to curtail any offered food to what the guest prefers, and I smile and accept whatever I'm given when it's my turn as guest.

[quillori]

Oh yes, this, exactly. I, too, was brought up to think that's how the host/guest thing works - if I'm the host I will put as much time and effort as I reasonably can into to discovering and accommodating my guests' preferences, but as a guest, you accept your host did their best and try to give the most convincing impression of pleased gratitude you can consistent with not actually being hospitalized or breaching a serious religious rule. As a guest, I think it's stood me well over the years - certainly I know people who have succeeded in getting themselves very poor reputations (which I don't think they realise) by managing to inadvertently insult a string of people precisely by refusing food; as a host it may have been less successful - on the one hand, I think I've mostly done a decent job of anticipating and catering to my guests, on the other, I've spent a fair amount of time being quietly and useless angry at people who fail to follow the guest half of the rules. (I mean, for example, would you, had your host gone to some trouble and expense to procure your favourite fruit, not normally obtainable where you were, and made it into your favourite dessert - would you really choose the moment it was placed in front of you to explain you'd given up eating desserts for the rest of the year and wouldn't be touching it? Well, obviously you wouldn't dream of it, but sadly others would. I've never quite been able to decide whether that sort of behaviour really is just bad manners, or whether in some places it's normal and acceptable behaviour.)

[kaigou]

you accept your host did their best and try to give the most convincing impression of pleased gratitude you can consistent with not actually being hospitalized or breaching a serious religious rule

...and you learn this by having a parent unafraid to lean over and whisper in your ear, "If you do not EAT AT LEAST THREE BITES and do it WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE then I am going to DRAG YOU OUT OF HERE and I will do it IN FRONT OF EVERYONE and they will ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY."

Oh, the shame, the shame! Not just to offend your hosts but to be humiliated for it, too.

On the other hand, I sure know my best-behavior manners as a result of being threatened with BEING DRAGGED OUT OF THERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Heh.

would you really choose the moment it was placed in front of you to explain you'd given up eating desserts for the rest of the year and wouldn't be touching it

Such a situation, or similar, is difficult when I'm a host, because I can't help but see it as tantamount to ending our friendship. It's completely ingrained but there it is: like the contract has been breached so badly and thoroughly that it must have been intentional. (The few times I've reeled back from such a position, it's because I've had CP to argue in the person's behalf.) I had a really tough time living in New England, for that reason, b/c a lot of the Italian-Americans and Portuguese-Americans we knew seemed to pride themselves on honesty, which apparently included snarky (if not outright dismissive) comments about food on the table. I just stopped entertaining, very quickly, rather than feel like doing so was opening myself up to unrelenting offense -- because it was that, or recognize that no one I'd met was willing to satisfy the guest/host contract, or even try to meet me halfway.

On the other hand, as a guest, the biggest offense I'll take is when a host corrects me -- "we don't put mustard on that," or "we don't eat it that way," or whatever. As my grandmother told me once, the guest is always right (hence, verrrry limited correction unless the guest specifically asks), but as a guest, it behooves you therefore to not abuse this right/privilege. A kind of noblesse oblige, perhaps?