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kaigoucontinued from part the second
This is for everyone on my flist who has watched or read Gundam. (And an extra shout-out to Recession, who probably hasn't had his heart broken in at least the past thirty seconds. Gundam heart, that is.)
After the wild success of the First Annual Break Hearts -- Fangirl Hearts -- we started talking about doing it again, this time at Akon. Four of us would be there -- me, Trowa, Wufei, and Duo -- and Quatre wasn't quite sure, plus the other two of the Terrible Threesome were also scrambling to see if they could afford the trip. But we had someone else willing to do Quatre, in fact quite determined to do Quatre (but only sans combover, sheesh). What could we possibly do with the Terrible Threesome, then? Plus, Duo and I had bandied about the notion of an elderly Relena in a pink tracksuit, but hadn't been able to talk anyone into joining us for that, and the Terrible Threesome would suddenly go quiet whenever we tried to do any convincing. Unh-hunh.
Until suddenly Sanzo spoke up, volunteering to be our Guest Star. No details were forthcoming. Only... guest star, but Sanzo (not so strangely) demurred on being Relena. Not really Sanzo's style (there's a reason we call Sanzo, Sanzo, just as there's a reason Duo gets called Duo and I get called Heero, and it's not just because of braid or... well, okay, in my case, it is mostly attitude, but anyway). The mystery looked like it'd be remaining a mystery, and our only clues were two last-minute incidents.
The first was contact from Sanzo, asking whether I knew where to get a wheelchair. The only time my family had needed one, we borrowed one from my parents' church, so that was the extent of that suggestion. Maybe someone knew someone in Dallas with a place to borrow/rent one? A few days later I got word that the issue was resolved, and that was right around the time I put in a call for any requests from the grocery store or liquor store, since I'd be driving to Akon while everyone else was flying.
Eventual shopping list: jaegermeister (of course, for Wufei and myself, one of our traditions), schnapps, I think gin or vodka, a bottle of wine, I think... and this.
Right. Two packs of mini applesauce containers.
I knew better than to ask questions. It was for the Guest Star. Good enough.
Meanwhile, I was also expecting the Terrible Threesome, who'd managed to wrangle it together to join us. They'd originally thought to be three sexy nurses, but could only cobble together one nurse costume, so they came up with an alternate plan.
I don't believe I was privy to the details. There was a helluva lot I wasn't privy to, this time around, but there seemed to be a lot of quiet laughing in the background. Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, and I were ignorant of the reason but... let's just say we expected it to be good. What kind of good, we knew not. But it'd be good. Masterminded by Duo and Sanzo, of course it would be. Sick, probably, but good.
The day we'd make our appearance (Saturday, I think it was), most things hadn't changed from the previous time. Heero still had a beer gut, but Trowa's hair wasn't silver -- and Trowa was the only one wearing a Preventer's jacket, since we figured someone should, just in case it wasn't obvious from the assorted five (somewhat older and -- in Wufei's case -- somewhat bent-over) appearances. Wufei, of course, was back in white pajamas with receeding hairline and complaining bitterly about his sciatica. Quatre was spiffy in a suit, with hat (and money in the brim). Then our Terrible Threesome knocked on the hotel door.
Introducing our sexy nurse...
(Except I do believe our nurse, unlike this picture, had an even shorter skirt.)
Oh, and her two companions. Can't forget them.
These may not be exactly what they were wearing, but it's pretty damn close. Just think: lots and lots of leg, lots and lots of cleavage. Yes, it is supposed to be REALLY OBVIOUS what two of them were doing to pay rent.
(Yes, our three were as gorgeous as that, too -- these are the three who cleaned up incredibly to do two Lusts and a Sloth, the first year I met them. Knock-outs, all three.)
Then our special Guest Star appeared. Since I can't seem to wrangle a picture out of anyone, you will need to do a little addition on your own. In defense of the pictures, it's also possible that because Trowa and I were in charge of various cameras for a chunk of it, and we basically spent most of the time in uncontrollable laughter. Any pictures we took may've been nothing but blurs because we were laughing too hard. We'd done okay staying in character the first time, but the second time... it was a total lost cause. Total. Lost. Cause.
First, starting from the bottom, take one pair of shoes.
Add in what I recall was a rather scruffy-looking pair of pajamas and lounge-robe. Circa mid-70s, so the pattern excerpted here seems rather apropos.
Now that our Guest Star is dressed, seat the Guest Star in one of these.
And of course, don't forget to grab these from the room fridge.
As the crowning point of glory, add this on top.
...yes, that's right.
Char Aznoble was out of the nursing home for a day!
Sanzo played the part beautifully. Wufei, Quatre, and Duo did far better than Trowa and I when it came to straight faces. I think they managed it because they ignored the reactions, but Trowa and I were mostly tailing alongside -- or well out in front -- and we couldn't help but notice the number of double-takes.
All, I should note, from guys who looked to be mid-twenties and up. One guy was so busy staring open-mouthed he walked into an artist's table. Another two guys looked like they were going to burst into tears. I do believe a number of pictures were taken, but any fanboy (fanman?) who looked old enough to be a lifer Gundam fan... well, those were too busy trying to close their jaws, and wipe the shocked/hurt looks off their faces to actually have the presence of mind to take a picture. Or they were too busy suffering the onset of heart-broken-ness to muster the will to raise the camera.
It didn't help that Sanzo would spontaneously yell out -- and I'm talking in the middle of the artist's aisle, at the top of his lungs, and he rivals me for lung-power (and that's saying something) -- "GUNDAM! GUNDAM! GUNDAM!"
At which point, our lovely nurse would lean over in the classic pose -- and if you've not seen the real thing, then you've seen it being parodied. Just think in terms of that short skirt getting really short from that pose. The nurse would whisper something to Elderly Mister Char, who'd then burst out, "APPLESAUCE! APPLESAUCE!"
We spent about an hour or so actually working the art table, with Sanzo at the end of the table staring off into space. If anyone walked past and said something -- like, say, "oh my gawd, is that Char?" -- then Sanzo would suddenly snap into focus and scream, "GUNDAM! GUNDAM! GUNDAM!" until the nurse or one of his two callgirls calmed him down... with applesauce.
Or he'd appear to be napping... and then shock the hell out of all customers in a twenty-foot radius by coming to a full awake and upright position with a holler of APPLESAUCE! and continue yelling until someone handed him one of the little cups. (I swear, I think Sanzo was fifty-percent applesauce by the end of the day.)
[As Sanzo's reminded me, there was another phrase Char would holler randomly: "WHERE'S THE HO'S?" And then one of his ho's would make an appearance, and all was satisfied. Unless he started hollering about Gundams, or demanding applesauce.... Char keeps his ho's hopping.]
Afterwards we closed up the table and took Sanzo, err, Char, for a walk. I thought Duo was bad for the cat-calling the girls, but Char is apparently a completely lecherous old man. (The Terrible Threesome made every point of leaning over him with cleavage in his face, and Char would then spend several minutes with a wide leer. At some points, I'm not sure whether the broken-hearted Gundam fanboys were upset that Char could be so old... or upset that they hadn't thought to play Char and get their own Terrible Threesome to keep them company.)
Ah, and there was the trip upstairs to where some gaming company was doing a Mecha-VR game. One of those that you sit in and the box shakes, turns, spins, does all that as you play. The best gamer in the group? Char, hands down, ironically enough. (Come to think of it, none of the rest are gamers anywhere near Sanzo's level, and some of us aren't even gamers at all.) So we go in, and the nurses arrange for Char to be put on the list. After about five minutes of watching (and enjoying the totally bewildered looks on yet more fanboy faces), we realized the wait would be about an hour. Instead of just leaving, the Terrible Threesome wheeled Char -- now apparently sleeping, mouth open, and snoring to beat the band -- over to the table, and requested their money back because "clearly the old man was up past his bedtime."
I seem to recall the women at the table (despite the no-refunds sign) did actually refund us. I think they also got a kick out of it when Char awoke with a jerk, and said something like "Bedtime!" and then propositioned one of the women at the table. I think one of our callgirls distracted Char (bending over to "pick up something from the floor") and Char started saying something about "Bed! Now!" or similar.
Needless to say, that was a day-long event of leaving open-mouthed, broken-looking, stunned fanboys in our wake.
It was awesome.
PS from the Sexy Nurse: "Those photos will emerge. Someday. Yes. The answer is in the applesauce."
APPLESAUCE!
This is for everyone on my flist who has watched or read Gundam. (And an extra shout-out to Recession, who probably hasn't had his heart broken in at least the past thirty seconds. Gundam heart, that is.)
After the wild success of the First Annual Break Hearts -- Fangirl Hearts -- we started talking about doing it again, this time at Akon. Four of us would be there -- me, Trowa, Wufei, and Duo -- and Quatre wasn't quite sure, plus the other two of the Terrible Threesome were also scrambling to see if they could afford the trip. But we had someone else willing to do Quatre, in fact quite determined to do Quatre (but only sans combover, sheesh). What could we possibly do with the Terrible Threesome, then? Plus, Duo and I had bandied about the notion of an elderly Relena in a pink tracksuit, but hadn't been able to talk anyone into joining us for that, and the Terrible Threesome would suddenly go quiet whenever we tried to do any convincing. Unh-hunh.
Until suddenly Sanzo spoke up, volunteering to be our Guest Star. No details were forthcoming. Only... guest star, but Sanzo (not so strangely) demurred on being Relena. Not really Sanzo's style (there's a reason we call Sanzo, Sanzo, just as there's a reason Duo gets called Duo and I get called Heero, and it's not just because of braid or... well, okay, in my case, it is mostly attitude, but anyway). The mystery looked like it'd be remaining a mystery, and our only clues were two last-minute incidents.
The first was contact from Sanzo, asking whether I knew where to get a wheelchair. The only time my family had needed one, we borrowed one from my parents' church, so that was the extent of that suggestion. Maybe someone knew someone in Dallas with a place to borrow/rent one? A few days later I got word that the issue was resolved, and that was right around the time I put in a call for any requests from the grocery store or liquor store, since I'd be driving to Akon while everyone else was flying.
Eventual shopping list: jaegermeister (of course, for Wufei and myself, one of our traditions), schnapps, I think gin or vodka, a bottle of wine, I think... and this.
Right. Two packs of mini applesauce containers.
I knew better than to ask questions. It was for the Guest Star. Good enough.
Meanwhile, I was also expecting the Terrible Threesome, who'd managed to wrangle it together to join us. They'd originally thought to be three sexy nurses, but could only cobble together one nurse costume, so they came up with an alternate plan.
I don't believe I was privy to the details. There was a helluva lot I wasn't privy to, this time around, but there seemed to be a lot of quiet laughing in the background. Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, and I were ignorant of the reason but... let's just say we expected it to be good. What kind of good, we knew not. But it'd be good. Masterminded by Duo and Sanzo, of course it would be. Sick, probably, but good.
The day we'd make our appearance (Saturday, I think it was), most things hadn't changed from the previous time. Heero still had a beer gut, but Trowa's hair wasn't silver -- and Trowa was the only one wearing a Preventer's jacket, since we figured someone should, just in case it wasn't obvious from the assorted five (somewhat older and -- in Wufei's case -- somewhat bent-over) appearances. Wufei, of course, was back in white pajamas with receeding hairline and complaining bitterly about his sciatica. Quatre was spiffy in a suit, with hat (and money in the brim). Then our Terrible Threesome knocked on the hotel door.
Introducing our sexy nurse...
(Except I do believe our nurse, unlike this picture, had an even shorter skirt.)
Oh, and her two companions. Can't forget them.
These may not be exactly what they were wearing, but it's pretty damn close. Just think: lots and lots of leg, lots and lots of cleavage. Yes, it is supposed to be REALLY OBVIOUS what two of them were doing to pay rent.
(Yes, our three were as gorgeous as that, too -- these are the three who cleaned up incredibly to do two Lusts and a Sloth, the first year I met them. Knock-outs, all three.)
Then our special Guest Star appeared. Since I can't seem to wrangle a picture out of anyone, you will need to do a little addition on your own. In defense of the pictures, it's also possible that because Trowa and I were in charge of various cameras for a chunk of it, and we basically spent most of the time in uncontrollable laughter. Any pictures we took may've been nothing but blurs because we were laughing too hard. We'd done okay staying in character the first time, but the second time... it was a total lost cause. Total. Lost. Cause.
First, starting from the bottom, take one pair of shoes.
Add in what I recall was a rather scruffy-looking pair of pajamas and lounge-robe. Circa mid-70s, so the pattern excerpted here seems rather apropos.
Now that our Guest Star is dressed, seat the Guest Star in one of these.
And of course, don't forget to grab these from the room fridge.
As the crowning point of glory, add this on top.
...yes, that's right.
Char Aznoble was out of the nursing home for a day!
Sanzo played the part beautifully. Wufei, Quatre, and Duo did far better than Trowa and I when it came to straight faces. I think they managed it because they ignored the reactions, but Trowa and I were mostly tailing alongside -- or well out in front -- and we couldn't help but notice the number of double-takes.
All, I should note, from guys who looked to be mid-twenties and up. One guy was so busy staring open-mouthed he walked into an artist's table. Another two guys looked like they were going to burst into tears. I do believe a number of pictures were taken, but any fanboy (fanman?) who looked old enough to be a lifer Gundam fan... well, those were too busy trying to close their jaws, and wipe the shocked/hurt looks off their faces to actually have the presence of mind to take a picture. Or they were too busy suffering the onset of heart-broken-ness to muster the will to raise the camera.
It didn't help that Sanzo would spontaneously yell out -- and I'm talking in the middle of the artist's aisle, at the top of his lungs, and he rivals me for lung-power (and that's saying something) -- "GUNDAM! GUNDAM! GUNDAM!"
At which point, our lovely nurse would lean over in the classic pose -- and if you've not seen the real thing, then you've seen it being parodied. Just think in terms of that short skirt getting really short from that pose. The nurse would whisper something to Elderly Mister Char, who'd then burst out, "APPLESAUCE! APPLESAUCE!"
We spent about an hour or so actually working the art table, with Sanzo at the end of the table staring off into space. If anyone walked past and said something -- like, say, "oh my gawd, is that Char?" -- then Sanzo would suddenly snap into focus and scream, "GUNDAM! GUNDAM! GUNDAM!" until the nurse or one of his two callgirls calmed him down... with applesauce.
Or he'd appear to be napping... and then shock the hell out of all customers in a twenty-foot radius by coming to a full awake and upright position with a holler of APPLESAUCE! and continue yelling until someone handed him one of the little cups. (I swear, I think Sanzo was fifty-percent applesauce by the end of the day.)
[As Sanzo's reminded me, there was another phrase Char would holler randomly: "WHERE'S THE HO'S?" And then one of his ho's would make an appearance, and all was satisfied. Unless he started hollering about Gundams, or demanding applesauce.... Char keeps his ho's hopping.]
Afterwards we closed up the table and took Sanzo, err, Char, for a walk. I thought Duo was bad for the cat-calling the girls, but Char is apparently a completely lecherous old man. (The Terrible Threesome made every point of leaning over him with cleavage in his face, and Char would then spend several minutes with a wide leer. At some points, I'm not sure whether the broken-hearted Gundam fanboys were upset that Char could be so old... or upset that they hadn't thought to play Char and get their own Terrible Threesome to keep them company.)
Ah, and there was the trip upstairs to where some gaming company was doing a Mecha-VR game. One of those that you sit in and the box shakes, turns, spins, does all that as you play. The best gamer in the group? Char, hands down, ironically enough. (Come to think of it, none of the rest are gamers anywhere near Sanzo's level, and some of us aren't even gamers at all.) So we go in, and the nurses arrange for Char to be put on the list. After about five minutes of watching (and enjoying the totally bewildered looks on yet more fanboy faces), we realized the wait would be about an hour. Instead of just leaving, the Terrible Threesome wheeled Char -- now apparently sleeping, mouth open, and snoring to beat the band -- over to the table, and requested their money back because "clearly the old man was up past his bedtime."
I seem to recall the women at the table (despite the no-refunds sign) did actually refund us. I think they also got a kick out of it when Char awoke with a jerk, and said something like "Bedtime!" and then propositioned one of the women at the table. I think one of our callgirls distracted Char (bending over to "pick up something from the floor") and Char started saying something about "Bed! Now!" or similar.
Needless to say, that was a day-long event of leaving open-mouthed, broken-looking, stunned fanboys in our wake.
It was awesome.
PS from the Sexy Nurse: "Those photos will emerge. Someday. Yes. The answer is in the applesauce."
APPLESAUCE!
no subject
Date: 26 Mar 2011 05:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 26 Mar 2011 05:55 am (UTC)I think you yelled that at one point just as we were going past art tables where guys looking late-twenties, maybe early-thirties were the artists. The yell got a blank look, then you yelled, GUNDAM! and I saw those heads whip around so fast, jaws drop, and these twin looks of pure SHOCK on their faces.
Abso-fricking-lutely-priceless.
no subject
Date: 26 Mar 2011 06:27 am (UTC)(The funny thing? I don't even like applesauce. XD But nursing home Char needed applesauce!)