recognizing faces
2 Dec 2010 02:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaigouI recall doing a beta-read for difrancis and tripping over a sub-plot that involved two childhood friends meeting again as adults... and recognizing each other instantly. That, to me, seemed preposterous. Biiiig suspension of disbelief! And bigger for Di herself, when she said she's recognized (as adults) people she knew in second grade. Just. Could. Not. Comprehend.
Oi. I have trouble recognizing coworker faces if our paths cross outside of work, and don't even ask me about faces (or names) of classmates, excepting a handful of really close friends. I've even walked right past my own sister with no recognition at all, when she chopped hair short and bleached it to white. And sure as spit, don't ever call me and think I'll recognize your voice. I've gone blank when my own father calls, for crying out loud. I'm never able to identify who's calling if I don't have caller-ID or some other hint to clue me in.
In person, I rely on things like hair color, length, and style, which means abrupt and extreme hair-style changes will throw me, especially if you're not wearing frequently-worn items like a distinctive coat or pair of shoes. I've learned to look for distinctive gestures and mannerisms, even if that means waiting patiently until someone who I think I should know -- and who acts like they know me -- says or does something that brings the face into sharper focus.
CP sometimes snarks that "all you white people look alike", but to me, pretty much... everyone does look alike. Or maybe I should say: everyone looks different, yes, but everyone looks unfamiliar. I just plain can't recall faces, and I sure as hell can't recall them if they're out of context (ie coworker not at work) or it's been more than about a year (ie old classmate).
Does anyone else do this, or have any similar kind of failure of recognition? I've always wondered if it's just me, or if it's just that everyone else fakes the lack of recognition better than I do.
difrancis and tripping over a sub-plot that involved two childhood friends meeting again as adults... and recognizing each other instantly. That, to me, seemed preposterous. Biiiig suspension of disbelief! And bigger for Di herself, when she said she's recognized (as adults) people she knew in second grade. Just. Could. Not. Comprehend.Oi. I have trouble recognizing coworker faces if our paths cross outside of work, and don't even ask me about faces (or names) of classmates, excepting a handful of really close friends. I've even walked right past my own sister with no recognition at all, when she chopped hair short and bleached it to white. And sure as spit, don't ever call me and think I'll recognize your voice. I've gone blank when my own father calls, for crying out loud. I'm never able to identify who's calling if I don't have caller-ID or some other hint to clue me in.
In person, I rely on things like hair color, length, and style, which means abrupt and extreme hair-style changes will throw me, especially if you're not wearing frequently-worn items like a distinctive coat or pair of shoes. I've learned to look for distinctive gestures and mannerisms, even if that means waiting patiently until someone who I think I should know -- and who acts like they know me -- says or does something that brings the face into sharper focus.
CP sometimes snarks that "all you white people look alike", but to me, pretty much... everyone does look alike. Or maybe I should say: everyone looks different, yes, but everyone looks unfamiliar. I just plain can't recall faces, and I sure as hell can't recall them if they're out of context (ie coworker not at work) or it's been more than about a year (ie old classmate).
Does anyone else do this, or have any similar kind of failure of recognition? I've always wondered if it's just me, or if it's just that everyone else fakes the lack of recognition better than I do.
no subject
Date: 2 Dec 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)I've gotten much better at recognizing voices and faces in the past year thanks to becoming a pharmacy tech. I consciously worked at memorizing customers' names and faces, and now I often recognize people in town. So you could change, if you wanted to and were exposed to lots of people again and again.
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Date: 2 Dec 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)*rereads*
That makes sense, but in a sort of "wow, that makes so much sense I can't believe it's been this long for someone to suggest it!" kind of shocked way.
It certainly explains why (as I said up in the very first reply) I can only remember names if I see them written out, over and over. Email and cellphone caller-ID are absolute godsends, as far as I'm concerned, because they reinforce names for me. Now if only I could get everyone in my life to wear a nametag for at least a few weeks, I might be able to connect faces with names, but somehow I don't see that happening...
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Date: 2 Dec 2010 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 3 Dec 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)It's the repetition and writing-out that can really make a difference, since effectively what you're doing is memorizing by repeated exposure. I used to be able to memorize massive amounts of information effortlessly -- as in, entire monologues or song lyrics or whatever -- but I rarely use that skill anymore, so now I have a much harder time memorizing things, if I don't have something associated with them. (As in, I can't memorize a single sentence if it exists in a void, like without a cue for the sentence-start or a context for it.) For that matter, it occurred to me while thinking over the various replies that I can't recall phone numbers any longer, because I don't have the repetition of typing them in, except for that one first time when I record the number -- and when I was in college, I had reams of phone numbers and names in my head!
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Date: 3 Dec 2010 10:02 am (UTC)I do have a good memory for narrative, though, and once I get something to start me off I can remember stories that connect with people, even without their names; this helps in manga, actually, as particularly if there are large casts I will forget names but remember relationships.
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Date: 3 Dec 2010 06:09 pm (UTC)Oh, that's the worst, really. When it's six names all reeled off one by one, it's like I can only remember the names after that if they're placed side-by-side with the other names. Like somehow "Jack, Jeff, Jennifer, Jane, and Beth" are all now just one combined unit, and forever after I'll never remember who-is-who unless they're all standing together. The exception to that seems to be if there's one person in the group who has a name that's alike or the same as someone else I do know well (or have known for a long time), then I remember the person by that contrast: "this is the Elizabeth that is not my friend from high school."
once I get something to start me off I can remember stories that connect with people
I wonder if that ties into the thing with literacy, because now that you mention it, I do similar: I can remember people much more quickly if I have a narrative. Which I suppose is sort of like creating a freeform 'context' for the person -- where that narrative acts as an associated story that 'places' the person in your personal history/memory (as opposed to 'placing' them in a physical environment of work or school context).