recognizing faces

[kaigou]

I recall doing a beta-read for difrancis and tripping over a sub-plot that involved two childhood friends meeting again as adults... and recognizing each other instantly. That, to me, seemed preposterous. Biiiig suspension of disbelief! And bigger for Di herself, when she said she's recognized (as adults) people she knew in second grade. Just. Could. Not. Comprehend.

Oi. I have trouble recognizing coworker faces if our paths cross outside of work, and don't even ask me about faces (or names) of classmates, excepting a handful of really close friends. I've even walked right past my own sister with no recognition at all, when she chopped hair short and bleached it to white. And sure as spit, don't ever call me and think I'll recognize your voice. I've gone blank when my own father calls, for crying out loud. I'm never able to identify who's calling if I don't have caller-ID or some other hint to clue me in.

In person, I rely on things like hair color, length, and style, which means abrupt and extreme hair-style changes will throw me, especially if you're not wearing frequently-worn items like a distinctive coat or pair of shoes. I've learned to look for distinctive gestures and mannerisms, even if that means waiting patiently until someone who I think I should know -- and who acts like they know me -- says or does something that brings the face into sharper focus.

CP sometimes snarks that "all you white people look alike", but to me, pretty much... everyone does look alike. Or maybe I should say: everyone looks different, yes, but everyone looks unfamiliar. I just plain can't recall faces, and I sure as hell can't recall them if they're out of context (ie coworker not at work) or it's been more than about a year (ie old classmate).

Does anyone else do this, or have any similar kind of failure of recognition? I've always wondered if it's just me, or if it's just that everyone else fakes the lack of recognition better than I do.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Interestingly, I do well with people from way back when, but less so with people I've met in the last 10 or 20 years. I'm wondering if children remember better, or if those memories just stick longer. NOt a clue. But when I teach and students aren't in my classes, most of them I can't remember even ever teaching them. But then, what's weird, is that sometimes I"ll remember some of them totally. I have no idea what makes some stick and others don't. But I had a student that I had as a freshman 12 years ago, and any time I see him, I know exactly who he is, even though there was nothing at the time that made him more memorable than any other student. At least not that I was aware of.

Di (who can't sign in with the LJ moniker)

[kaigou]

Do you think maybe it has something to do with how many faces you need(ed) to remember? Our circle is much smaller as children, so perhaps we have fewer faces to catalog. As adults, our circle is much wider, so we selectively remember some and set the others aside and/or easily forget them. Long-term versus short-term memory.

Actually, there are some faces I recognize faster if the person has some attribute -- usually a way of speaking, or dressing, or moving -- that reminds me of someone else I knew, farther back in the past. Like when someone says, "you remind me of a friend from college, who always carried his bookbag like that." I worked with someone who completely associated me with a college roommate because of the way I carried my bag (and the type of bag), and eventually there were other things she claimed she saw similar between us.

Makes me wonder if the students you do remember, unexpectedly, are somehow tapping into previous stored associations like that.