watch this.

[kaigou]

Only online for free watching for a short period (don't know how long), but worth every minute of the thirty or so minutes:

East of Main Street: Asians Aloud

Comments

[nnayram.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing, it was awesome!

[leorising]

Yeah, that was really good, and I'm really glad I got the chance to see it while it was still up.

Here's what I think, though, and it's the main reason I've been staying out of your discussions on race:

I am, and always will be, a white girl. Born white, raised white. I will always be a member of the privileged elite class, simply because of the color of my skin.

It doesn't matter that I was raised with hard times, it doesn't matter that my mother's family has African as well as Swedish bloodlines in it. It doesn't matter that I've been subjected to violence, both sexual and non-. It doesn't matter that I've been a smart woman who's been repeatedly slammed by a patriarchal system that despises smart women.

I will never, ever, ever be able to have a "legitimate" opinion on race. I cannot speak to the problems of race. I am the forever outsider. I am in the race that the other races legitimately blame all of their problems on. It's emblazoned permanently, right here, on my outer covering.

Oh, absolutely, I've had more than my share of ignorance; I grew up in a town that took pride in calling itself "Lily-White Warren." I've learned of my mistaken assumptions the VERY hard way, some of it in college, some of it as I've made stupid mistakes over the course of the last 50 years.

I'm the stupid white woman who asks, "What flavor of Asian are you?" I'm the insensitive white broad who says, "No, I don't really care what flavor of Asian you are." I am criticized if I try to get to know the individual in context of their visible racial attributes (and the experiences that go with that appearance,) and criticized if I don't.

There is no "right" opinion for me to have about race. I read about race, I puzzle about race, I read posts like yours and I watch videos like the one you just recommended. I know I don't want to be a racist but I also know that I was raised by stupid white racists and that stupid white racism will always be my instictive, knee-jerk, millisecond-long, first reaction.

All my good intentions in the world will never make me not-white, not in my eyes, and not in the eyes of others.

I admire that you're able to discuss this honestly, and with a true openness. I can too, but in truth I just don't want to try any more. Because inevitably someone will come along and say, "You don't get to say that, you don't get to have that opinion, because you're fucking white."

That's it. I'll keep reading your posts, I think they're very interesting. But I can't contribute any more than this.