an introductory list
9 May 2010 09:54 pm1. My first paramour was named Evil. His first words to me were to call me a strumpet. When I gave him the patented glare of doom, he called me a trollop. After that, puppy love. Man, the memories.
2. If it gets below 72F, I'm putting on a sweatshirt. Below 68F, wool socks as well.
3. I worked as a nude model in college, which is how I ended up being the centerfold in my college's literary journal. Twice.
4. The closer I am to someone, the worse I get at graciously accepting gifts. I get all awkward and cranky, and then have to go find something around the house to fix until the moment passes.
5. I don't disbelieve in god, I just consider the issue irrelevant.
6. I enjoy maneuvering my VW through tight spots at high speeds, and laughing hysterically while the SUVs around me freak out.
7. I used to do lunch with a DEA agent semi-regularly, which is how I know the only Mexican restaurant in this city that's not on the Mexican-mafia payroll.
8. Every single time I get evening-dressy, I can hear a bouncer-friend's voice in my head: "Sure, you can have the guest pass. If you dress like a girl."
9. It's been [censored] years and I'm still not sure I'm over the trauma. Thanks, man.
10. The first time I ever drove a car, I totaled a Metro toll booth.
11. I used to amuse myself on roadtrips by telling the gas-station guys in NJ that my 914 didn't actually have a gas tank. Seen the Flintstones, right? Just slide back this panel in the floor and then move your feet really really fast. (Best part: some of them believed me.)
12. I get twitchy whenever I realize I have more than six pairs of shoes. Thanks to stupid corporate shoe fashion expectation crap, I'm twitchy a lot.
13. I hate to shop unless it's absolutely crucial, I know already exactly what I want, I'm by myself, and it's uncrowded enough that I can speed-shop. Do not slow down, do not dawdle, do not pass go, do not spend two hundred dollars.
14. The only shopping exception is for hardware stores. I have been known to go in and not resurface until two or three hours later.
15. I started sewing at age 5; I made my one prom dress, one homecoming dress, a crinoline for my sister, and the bridesmaid's dresses for my father's second wedding. And I still hate to do laundry. With a passion.
16. If I ever get a chance at grad school, it'd be to study urban planning.
17. If we're good friends, I'll pitch in on cleaning up. If I love you, I'll fix something around your house. If I'm IN love with you, I'll do your laundry. (Okay, once. But I figure I can get a lot of mileage out of such a massive sacrifice.)
18. I only listen to voicemail about once a month, in the hopes that anything will expire and drop off the voicemail system and I won't have to deal with it after all.
19. I still have my racing shirts from HS. Somewhere. I have learned to accept that secretly I will always be a jock.
20. I would gleefully survive on a diet of frybread. If I had someone else here to make it for me, that is. Me and hot oil, not so much with the good.
21. I read non-fiction regularly. When I read fiction, I tend to tear through eight books in two days and then not touch fiction for another eight months. I'm like a binge-and... well, a binge-and-avoid fiction reader.
22. I remain enamoured of Heideggerian existentialism, even after all these years.
23. I would be much prouder of myself if I could master the art of at least hearing tones in Mandarin, even if it's a lost cause for me to ever inflect them.
24. I can get lost in two seconds if I'm only going a mile down the road, but I got from Moab Utah to Topeka Kansas without a map. Maybe it wasn't the most direct route, but I refuse to stop and ask directions. It's against my non-religion.
25. I will finish the kitchenby august by yearend some day.
2. If it gets below 72F, I'm putting on a sweatshirt. Below 68F, wool socks as well.
3. I worked as a nude model in college, which is how I ended up being the centerfold in my college's literary journal. Twice.
4. The closer I am to someone, the worse I get at graciously accepting gifts. I get all awkward and cranky, and then have to go find something around the house to fix until the moment passes.
5. I don't disbelieve in god, I just consider the issue irrelevant.
6. I enjoy maneuvering my VW through tight spots at high speeds, and laughing hysterically while the SUVs around me freak out.
7. I used to do lunch with a DEA agent semi-regularly, which is how I know the only Mexican restaurant in this city that's not on the Mexican-mafia payroll.
8. Every single time I get evening-dressy, I can hear a bouncer-friend's voice in my head: "Sure, you can have the guest pass. If you dress like a girl."
9. It's been [censored] years and I'm still not sure I'm over the trauma. Thanks, man.
10. The first time I ever drove a car, I totaled a Metro toll booth.
11. I used to amuse myself on roadtrips by telling the gas-station guys in NJ that my 914 didn't actually have a gas tank. Seen the Flintstones, right? Just slide back this panel in the floor and then move your feet really really fast. (Best part: some of them believed me.)
12. I get twitchy whenever I realize I have more than six pairs of shoes. Thanks to stupid corporate shoe fashion expectation crap, I'm twitchy a lot.
13. I hate to shop unless it's absolutely crucial, I know already exactly what I want, I'm by myself, and it's uncrowded enough that I can speed-shop. Do not slow down, do not dawdle, do not pass go, do not spend two hundred dollars.
14. The only shopping exception is for hardware stores. I have been known to go in and not resurface until two or three hours later.
15. I started sewing at age 5; I made my one prom dress, one homecoming dress, a crinoline for my sister, and the bridesmaid's dresses for my father's second wedding. And I still hate to do laundry. With a passion.
16. If I ever get a chance at grad school, it'd be to study urban planning.
17. If we're good friends, I'll pitch in on cleaning up. If I love you, I'll fix something around your house. If I'm IN love with you, I'll do your laundry. (Okay, once. But I figure I can get a lot of mileage out of such a massive sacrifice.)
18. I only listen to voicemail about once a month, in the hopes that anything will expire and drop off the voicemail system and I won't have to deal with it after all.
19. I still have my racing shirts from HS. Somewhere. I have learned to accept that secretly I will always be a jock.
20. I would gleefully survive on a diet of frybread. If I had someone else here to make it for me, that is. Me and hot oil, not so much with the good.
21. I read non-fiction regularly. When I read fiction, I tend to tear through eight books in two days and then not touch fiction for another eight months. I'm like a binge-and... well, a binge-and-avoid fiction reader.
22. I remain enamoured of Heideggerian existentialism, even after all these years.
23. I would be much prouder of myself if I could master the art of at least hearing tones in Mandarin, even if it's a lost cause for me to ever inflect them.
24. I can get lost in two seconds if I'm only going a mile down the road, but I got from Moab Utah to Topeka Kansas without a map. Maybe it wasn't the most direct route, but I refuse to stop and ask directions. It's against my non-religion.
25. I will finish the kitchen
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Date: 10 May 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 11 May 2010 03:15 am (UTC)