characterization

[kaigou]

The next time anyone wants to tackle a shy character -- Heero, definitely; Alphonse, perhaps? -- here's an article from TIME called Secrets of the Shy. Fascinating look into what it means to be shy, some of its possible causes, its impacts on the person, and the positive reasons for shyness, as well. Might be especially useful for those writers who are extroverts or non-shy, trying to comprehend the shy character's POV.

Comments

[miyun.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[okaasan59.livejournal.com]

Hm, as a naturally shy person myself, I may have to disagree a little bit with the article. It mentions that the shy test subjects may not have been able to read neutral and angry facial expressions. I think the problem lies more with dealing with those emotions than recognizing them.

As a child, and even as an adult, I'm hyper sensitive to what people may be feeling towards me. I constantly wonder how I look in their eyes and am always seeking approval in some way. I also tend to hesitate, for instance, not wanting to butt into a conversation unless I feel certain my contribution will be welcomed. It's a very limiting way to live and I've been able to overcome some of that but am still overwhelmingly "shy." I've learned to take on leadership roles and even do some public speaking but I still find it almost impossible to start a conversation with a stranger.

My kids are both introverts. I'd say my daughter is also shy, my son is not. When my daughter was 3 she ended up being left at the daycare center with the 2 and 4-year olds while the other 3-year olds went on a field trip. Turns out that when the teacher said "all 3-year-olds come with me" she was waiting to see if they specifically meant her. Of course, I ended up having a talk with the teachers because no 3-year-old should bear such responsibility, and thank god she had not been left behind while on an outing. She's very bright and outgoing with her friends, but I've noticed that even at age 17 she still hates to talk to people she doesn't know. (Like stopping a waiter to ask a question or even placing a phone call to ask about a store's closing hour.)

I've known people who seem to shrug off other people's disapproval. There's always the kid in class who just grins when the teacher tries to discipline him. I never, ever, in a million years could understand that, much less see myself doing something like that.

[solitude1056.livejournal.com]

The article does mention that there's a difference between introversion, extroversion, and being shy. I'm a loud introvert, but I also suffer from bouts of shyness -- though I have a lifetime of being pushed to overcome that, which results in a strange dance of propelling myself forward, then backpedaling into my comfort zone.

But I do think there's something to the idea that shy children have trouble reading the expressions or subtle signals of what's around them. It fits in with your story of your daughter, even (as well as stories I can recall of my own childhood): "do they really mean me, too?" Almost as though you're missing the clues, or cues, somehow, and that causes the shy person to hang back in hopes of getting further information, confirmation, or a chance to follow someone else and let them screw up first.

All that aside, what I thought was most interesting was the clarification (finally!) that extroverted people can also be deeply shy. (I spent the weekend with someone like that, actually.)

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

There's a term for this, the pluralistic fallacy or something, a social phenomenon that has nothing to do with shyness or lack thereof: the tendancy to assume that other people are not feeling the same as you even when all the external signals read that they do, the confusion and worry that you are misunderstanding them even when you are not. This leads to things such as not wanting to ask questions in class, assuming that all the other students understand except you, and not wanting to seem the odd one out, even if everyone else is just as confused... and not reacting to an emergency because nobody else seems concerned, even if you yourself are very worried.

Actually looking back on it I'm not sure it's the same thing at all. Except that it is a phenomenon which has been observed, in both shy and non-shy people.