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kaigouI say we create a new wiki page to discuss a newly-identified syndrome, which I suggest we name after its two most prominent victims: Rice-Hamilton disorder.
Rice-Hamilton disorder (RHD) is a very rare authorial egotistical disorder (AED), but is controllable if caught in time and treated properly. It is the least common of the genre-specific authorial infections (GSAI); it appears to strike female authors exclusively. There are no known male cases.
Misdiagonsis
RHD should not be mistaken for a milder AED, called reader-aggravated frustration (RAF), which is a short-term illness usually lasting no more than a week. Studies have shown RAF is caused almost exclusively by environmental triggers, although these are often identical to those causing the active cycle in RHD. While RAF is not normally career-threatening, repeated exposure has been known to lower the author's sensitivity to future bouts. Avoidance behaviors may lead the author to abandon writing for a new career, often as a mid-level manager at a home insurance company.
Pathology
RHD appears to be caused by a combination of natural ego and long-term genre exposure; there also appears to be a strong link between RHD and high sales numbers, when reduced critical acclaim is present. The onset of the disorder's active cycle is often triggered by external events, such as a harsh professional review, a particularly obtuse reader on Amazon, or being named on Fandom Wank. Both the natural drive for recognition, and prolific writing skills, further enable the retaliation cycles, thus significantly increasing the disorder's hold on the sufferer with each additional cycle.
Transmission
This disorder is not infectious; however, it may be that exposure to RHD early in an author's career may somehow inoculate the author against potential RHD development later.[-citation needed]
Risk Factors
Studies have indicated that several crucial elements must be present for RHD to occur, although most authors with these risk factors will never develop RHD. There are still many questions on why some authors develop RHD and others do not.
At least four of the following factors are required for an author to be considered at-risk for RHD.
Symptoms
Authorial disorders of this nature are associated with distress and paranoia, and a relatively high risk of hissy fits. Unlike the AEDs a normal author might experience, one with RHD experiences extreme reader-directed antagonism that can last for months to years. This state is prefaced by a long gestation period during which the ego levels rise incrementally along with sales, which is often misdiagnosed as a chronic variant of RAF.
Additional symptoms may include:
Complications
With only a small pool of RHD cases available for study, scientists must rely on anecdotal evidence. So far the research indicates a lack of editorial oversight is directly correlated to a hastening of the disorder's progress. Limited editorial involvement may increase the RHD sufferer's perceived need to protect herself from fandom, thus prompting the disorder to enter its active attack-cycle.
Unfortunately, past a certain point in the disorder's progress, increased editorial oversight may backfire. The RHD sufferer may withdraw entirely, switching to a different publishing house from which she will then attack both fans and former editors.
Prevention
RHD is truly one of those disorders in which an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The simplest means is to dissuade female authors from remaining in the fantasy-horror vampire sub-genre longer than three books. Another course of treatment is to encourage any at-risk author to attempt one or more of the following.
Depending on the stage of the disorder, preventive treatments may have some efficacy in reducing the disorder's progress. For later stage RHD, however, there may be no recourse except to isolate the sufferer, remove her internet access, and ban her from all conventions or conferences.
The more advanced the RHD, the more chance a sufferer may introduce the disorder to a new genre; there are preliminary signs RHD, or a variant, may have appeared in the religious sub-genre of historical fiction. For this reason, many scientists argue against genre-switching; a negative impact on unrelated genres is too high a risk, given the existing questions about RHD's pathology. In the disorder's final stages, the only treatment may be to end all authorship; this is the only proven cure.
Sadly, pointing and laughing hysterically does not have any effect on RHD once it has passed into its final stage. However, this behavior is efficacious for fans and fellow writers dealing with annoyance in the wake of the disorder's active cycle.
References
[1] Some scientists argue RHD is possible in men, but surfaces in the medical thriller genre instead.
[2] There is some question whether this definition should be expanded to 'anti-fandom', which would include fan-art.
See Also
Crichton Penii Competition Disorder (CPCD)
Ellison Obsessive-Mammarive Disorder (EOMD)
Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I do crack myself up.
Rice-Hamilton disorder (RHD) is a very rare authorial egotistical disorder (AED), but is controllable if caught in time and treated properly. It is the least common of the genre-specific authorial infections (GSAI); it appears to strike female authors exclusively. There are no known male cases.
Misdiagonsis
RHD should not be mistaken for a milder AED, called reader-aggravated frustration (RAF), which is a short-term illness usually lasting no more than a week. Studies have shown RAF is caused almost exclusively by environmental triggers, although these are often identical to those causing the active cycle in RHD. While RAF is not normally career-threatening, repeated exposure has been known to lower the author's sensitivity to future bouts. Avoidance behaviors may lead the author to abandon writing for a new career, often as a mid-level manager at a home insurance company.
Pathology
RHD appears to be caused by a combination of natural ego and long-term genre exposure; there also appears to be a strong link between RHD and high sales numbers, when reduced critical acclaim is present. The onset of the disorder's active cycle is often triggered by external events, such as a harsh professional review, a particularly obtuse reader on Amazon, or being named on Fandom Wank. Both the natural drive for recognition, and prolific writing skills, further enable the retaliation cycles, thus significantly increasing the disorder's hold on the sufferer with each additional cycle.
Transmission
This disorder is not infectious; however, it may be that exposure to RHD early in an author's career may somehow inoculate the author against potential RHD development later.[-citation needed]
Risk Factors
Studies have indicated that several crucial elements must be present for RHD to occur, although most authors with these risk factors will never develop RHD. There are still many questions on why some authors develop RHD and others do not.
At least four of the following factors are required for an author to be considered at-risk for RHD.
- Post-college age, with at least four best sellers.[1]
- Writes in the horror-fantasy sub-genre focused on vampires.
- Specifically approaches vampires as sympathetic, sometimes hyper-sexed, often broody.
- Vehemently protective of created world and characters.
- Stridently anti-fanfic[2]; may employ, or plans to employ, a law firm for anti-fanfic purposes.
Symptoms
Authorial disorders of this nature are associated with distress and paranoia, and a relatively high risk of hissy fits. Unlike the AEDs a normal author might experience, one with RHD experiences extreme reader-directed antagonism that can last for months to years. This state is prefaced by a long gestation period during which the ego levels rise incrementally along with sales, which is often misdiagnosed as a chronic variant of RAF.
Additional symptoms may include:
- Plot deficiency; often rationalizes with 'character-driven' defense.
- Grandiosity; self-identifies as the ultimate standard for the genre.
- Consistently illogical; unable to recognize fallacies in verbal or written communcation.
- Narcissism; encourages perceived fan-obsession with author's sex life or political opinions.
- Excessive talkativeness; often combined with mono-focus on hardships of being an author.
- Risk-taking behaviors; acts out by poking crazy screechy monkeys with a stick.
Complications
With only a small pool of RHD cases available for study, scientists must rely on anecdotal evidence. So far the research indicates a lack of editorial oversight is directly correlated to a hastening of the disorder's progress. Limited editorial involvement may increase the RHD sufferer's perceived need to protect herself from fandom, thus prompting the disorder to enter its active attack-cycle.
Unfortunately, past a certain point in the disorder's progress, increased editorial oversight may backfire. The RHD sufferer may withdraw entirely, switching to a different publishing house from which she will then attack both fans and former editors.
Prevention
RHD is truly one of those disorders in which an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The simplest means is to dissuade female authors from remaining in the fantasy-horror vampire sub-genre longer than three books. Another course of treatment is to encourage any at-risk author to attempt one or more of the following.
- Regular exposure to current and historical authors in genre, with self-assessment geared towards achieving humility in comparisons.
- Embrace fandom, especially fanart and fanfic; at minimum, use self-hypnosis to willfully ignore fandom existence.
- Learn relaxation techniques for use during self-googling when critical reviews, fan forums, or fanfiction domains may appear in search results.
- In more extreme risk-cases, remove all access from the internet; limit interaction to monthly updates on official web site.
- Rewrite vampires as bloodthirsty, unsexy, vicious rabid dogs too busy killing things to brood.
Depending on the stage of the disorder, preventive treatments may have some efficacy in reducing the disorder's progress. For later stage RHD, however, there may be no recourse except to isolate the sufferer, remove her internet access, and ban her from all conventions or conferences.
The more advanced the RHD, the more chance a sufferer may introduce the disorder to a new genre; there are preliminary signs RHD, or a variant, may have appeared in the religious sub-genre of historical fiction. For this reason, many scientists argue against genre-switching; a negative impact on unrelated genres is too high a risk, given the existing questions about RHD's pathology. In the disorder's final stages, the only treatment may be to end all authorship; this is the only proven cure.
Sadly, pointing and laughing hysterically does not have any effect on RHD once it has passed into its final stage. However, this behavior is efficacious for fans and fellow writers dealing with annoyance in the wake of the disorder's active cycle.
References
[1] Some scientists argue RHD is possible in men, but surfaces in the medical thriller genre instead.
[2] There is some question whether this definition should be expanded to 'anti-fandom', which would include fan-art.
See Also
Crichton Penii Competition Disorder (CPCD)
Ellison Obsessive-Mammarive Disorder (EOMD)
Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I do crack myself up.
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You Forgot One
Date: 7 Jan 2007 02:02 am (UTC)It is a dangerous, dangerous disease because it is highly contagious. People all over the world become victims of Brown's disease, which renders them temporarily blind, and therefore especially susceptible to further Plot Atrocities from said Brown's disease sufferer.
Overnight, they feel like they are historical experts, and the word "Fiction" is erased from their memories. They walk around pronouncing truth, citing evidence that does not prove them right, only that there were people in the Renaissance period who made up the story first.
It is a sad,sad thing, and many have fallen victim.
The only cure that has so far rescued those few, poor souls that could be, was a really bad movie,with some really good actors, who were so obviously crippled by the dialogue they could not act.
It is the only cure.
Maybe it will work on Rice-Hamilton?
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 02:09 am (UTC)Use this solution with caution, or prepare to evolve into the BtVS universe. Symptoms include writing a cast of vampires that start off as entirely evil, bloodthirty villians, but somehow become misunderstood sex symbols who cry and bitch a lot long before the end of the series is reached. Warning: This has been known lead to even more excessive vampire angsting than even RHD, though scientists are presently debating whether this is actually possible.
*Grin* Thanks a bunch for sharing this, it was hilarious.
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 02:21 am (UTC)Fury-Noxon Oppositional Disorder or something, where neither has a clue about the creator's vision, neither likes the other's position, and between them both, they twist it all out of shape. I have heard of this sort of thing happening on a number of other series in later seasons (when the primary author/creator steps away or down). Maybe there's something going on there...
Symptoms include writing a cast of vampires that start off as entirely evil, bloodthirty villians, but somehow become misunderstood sex symbols who cry and bitch a lot long before the end of the series is reached.
Except that perhaps Fury-Noxon disorder is where you start out with perfectly good blood-thirsty antagonists, and then mutate them into the RHD form of wangsting misunderstood soul mates...
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 02:31 am (UTC)That's not a disorder. That's a congential defect!
*snerk*
Wish I had a camera the day a coworker informed in, in all seriousness, that I should read DaVinci Code (I am so sick of getting that as a rec); she went on to talk about how he did all this research and even got permission to get into the Vatican library!
Me: Anyone can do that.
Coworker: No, they can't. It's the Vatican library.
Me: Right. And it's been open to the public since it was created by Pope Nicholas, in 1451.
Coworker: ...
Me: Of course, it lagged from the 1460s until about 1494, when Pope Alexander -- the Borgia Pope -- donated a bunch of books, money, and appointed someone to be the librarian, but the entire point was that anyone could go see what's there. Still can.
Coworker: But...
Me: You can't take the books out, of course, not since the mid-1600s, and some books have always remained on the premises.
Coworker: But Dan Brown...
Me: Even the Inculabula and non-printed material are still each 'signed out' and brought to the reading room, to be returned at the end of the library's hours. You can see Galileo's signatures on some of them. And they have a list of people who checked out stuff and had to pay a fine for not bringing it back on time. Apparently Augustine was very bad at returning books on time.
Coworker: But you still have to get permission if you're not Catholic...
Me: Nope. You just go in. Like any other library.
Coworker: But...
Me: Except I think they make you wash your hands, or wear gloves, if you want to see really old stuff.
At which point the coworker stumbled off looking utterly flabbergasted.
Sometimes I feel like I need to come up with a catchy t-shirt that says something like, "don't try to get me to read Dan Brown by impressing me with his fabulous research."
*rolls eyes*
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 07:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 07:42 am (UTC)I feel so bad for these AED sufferers. They should get together and form some kind of support group. Y'know, like the fandom has to, just to deal with them.
*snerk*
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 12:34 pm (UTC)It is quite possible that this belief in pushing fan fiction ideas forward leads one to believe one's writing is brilliant and important to the masses. When really the only mass it's associated with would be a massive pile of horse manure
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)I think you deserve some sort of service medal for performing above and beyond for the good of society.
I despair over similar (but not nearly as funny) exchanges I have had with my Mum-in-Law. *cough*cough* "The Celestine Prophecy", anyone?
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)(About half my regulars said "nonfiction!" but these were people who had a little trouble with whether elves and fairies were fictional, so their expertise was to be taken with two cups of salt...bless their hearts.)
I called the distributor, who said, "good question, we'll get back to you on that." They didn't know, either! The label of fiction/nonfiction had been purposefully removed from inside pages and the flaps. Bastards.
When they did call me back, they said they still weren't sure, but they took a vote in the ordering room (this was back when you mailed, faxed, or called in your order). The word back was "fiction, 27 to 2." I shelved it happily in fiction, and the next day, found all three copies in...non-fiction. Put it back, and it kept moving. *shifty eyes* My oh-so-helpful regulars (finally) admitted they were just trying to help out.
FICTION, people, it's FICTION. *headdesk*
So. Uhm. Yeah. I have a thing about books that purport to be nonfiction. I don't mind a good hoax, but in some cases, it's just a badly-done forgery.
no subject
Date: 7 Jan 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)thank you! I'll be here all week! Try the veal! ;-)
no subject
Date: 8 Jan 2007 06:50 am (UTC)Oh, that's perfect. Pathology, indeed! ((dies laughing) It's so true! At least it's not contagious... that we know of, anyway. Maybe there's a genetic predisposition? If you have the RHD-potential gene, and read broody vampire novels within a certain critical period (early- to mid-adolescence?), the gene activates, and your risk factor rises. Or maybe there's just a Broody Vampire Writing (BVW) Potential gene, which would increase the risk of RHD merely by association?
Brilliant snark, definitely. :D
Crichton Penii Competition Disorder (CPCD)
If that second word is supposed to be a Latin version of "penises," then the word you're wanting is penes. Only words ending in -us take an i plural; and only words ending in -ius would become ii!
Erm. Not that I spend a lot of time contemplating the Latin plurals of genitals, of course. ((coughcough)) :D
no subject
Date: 8 Jan 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)Good thing I wasn't drinking my hot caffienated beverage at the time.
*grin*
Fiction indeed.
no subject
Date: 8 Jan 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)that was priceless.. :p
no subject
Date: 9 Jan 2007 03:06 am (UTC)Hrm, I wonder if the Broody Vampire Genetic link might also be complicated by early exposure to excessive amounts of classical gothic, such as Wuthering Heights? Maybe that's why I find myself impervious. Never did read that one...
no subject
Date: 9 Jan 2007 03:28 am (UTC)*bows with flourish*
no subject
Date: 9 Jan 2007 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 10 Jan 2007 06:22 am (UTC)Hmmm...A t shirt could work.
Date: 2 Feb 2007 12:23 am (UTC)Too obvious? Maybe: "I'm with Opus Dei (You can't see me)"
Ugh, I could quite happily chop that man's hands off. Anything, anything, just DON'T MAKE ME READ ANY MORE...