things that make me twitch
9 Dec 2007 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaigouReading online short story while waiting for d/l to finish... and I hit one of those dreaded Mental Edit Moments. It's truly sad that I hit this all the time since I do love thrillers/action-mysteries, although off-genre is the worst at this kind of oversight -- that is, where author's selling genre is non-action, such as romance or SFF, but the author is adopting the tropes or veneer of an action/thriller.
In this instance, Black and Starr are undercover agents for the city police department (JCPD). Black has been off on his own scoping a potential bust when his fellow agent catches up with him. Starr begins to give Black grief about hanging out in the worst part of town.
I mean, really, is it all that hard to keep in mind that there truly can be ears and eyes everywhere? And is it all that hard to remember that someone -- be it human, superhuman, nonhuman, or creature -- who survives via deception (like an undercover agent) is not going to just randomly spill his/her top secret without effort? Characters who survive by keeping secrets should keep those secrets, not stand around blabbing them on street corners.
Dear author: when you put your story in the city, do try to remember that cities are FILLED WITH PEOPLE. And when your characters are undercover, do please make some effort to remember the character has a SECRET identity, not a broadly-publicized one. That's right: undercover + city = SHUT YOUR CHARACTERS UP. Nolove, me.
In this instance, Black and Starr are undercover agents for the city police department (JCPD). Black has been off on his own scoping a potential bust when his fellow agent catches up with him. Starr begins to give Black grief about hanging out in the worst part of town.
Black started to walk past ... but a pale, surprisingly strong hand caught his arm, restraining him. "This is no place for a JC2 agent," Starr said, all teasing gone from his voice. "If someone recognizes you down here, they'll stretch out your death for days."
"You risk the same," Black told him, staring into the feline green eyes. "A snitch for the JCPD is just as bad."
I mean, really, is it all that hard to keep in mind that there truly can be ears and eyes everywhere? And is it all that hard to remember that someone -- be it human, superhuman, nonhuman, or creature -- who survives via deception (like an undercover agent) is not going to just randomly spill his/her top secret without effort? Characters who survive by keeping secrets should keep those secrets, not stand around blabbing them on street corners.
Dear author: when you put your story in the city, do try to remember that cities are FILLED WITH PEOPLE. And when your characters are undercover, do please make some effort to remember the character has a SECRET identity, not a broadly-publicized one. That's right: undercover + city = SHUT YOUR CHARACTERS UP. Nolove, me.