This is very informative. As an immigrant who's heard the question "where are you from?" by fellow immigrants and Americans alike, I'd probably answer your question on autopilot:
"I was born in South Korea, but my family immigrated to America when I was young and became a naturalized citizen as a teenager. My family live in [different state] right now and I've moved here for school."
I've had mixed reactions from this. Americans generally take it at face value. Some ask for details, but it's usually about me rather than my family. Fellow Asians don't ask about family, but like to talk about immigrant/American identities.
It's even more fraught with that tension, when I'm with people who are first- or second-generation American. There's a definite (and understandable) sensitivity to the "where are you really from" ignorance, because they're not newly-arrived, they've been here since childhood or were born here. They get enough of the "you're not from around here, I can tell" crap.
There's a way around that I think -- asking about their family members directly or how they grew up will often open up an entire conversation. Your reply to the question references places fellow Southerners grew up in/know. I often relate my family not with place names (beyond country/state) but with regional frameworks. I'd say that my parents grew up in rural villages and traveled to America for various reasons. If they want experiences/stories I'd happily dive in. My most of my friends who are first/second generation American don't mind talking about the details about their family. They'll relate to being in a particular village with a nasty auntie, or the hot summers their family endured or how they're with an uncle in this city but their mother is still in X country because of Z.
It's really just when the question transforms into an insincere one that seeks to only place an "other" label on an individual that it gets very tiring. I find that most people don't give a damn where my family is from or how they got here. I usually try to answer in a way that allows people who are interested about my family to ask questions. Most of my friends answer typically, so I think changing the nature of your question from something very commonplace to something a bit more specific will communicate better.
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Date: 4 Apr 2011 04:04 am (UTC)"I was born in South Korea, but my family immigrated to America when I was young and became a naturalized citizen as a teenager. My family live in [different state] right now and I've moved here for school."
I've had mixed reactions from this. Americans generally take it at face value. Some ask for details, but it's usually about me rather than my family. Fellow Asians don't ask about family, but like to talk about immigrant/American identities.
It's even more fraught with that tension, when I'm with people who are first- or second-generation American. There's a definite (and understandable) sensitivity to the "where are you really from" ignorance, because they're not newly-arrived, they've been here since childhood or were born here. They get enough of the "you're not from around here, I can tell" crap.
There's a way around that I think -- asking about their family members directly or how they grew up will often open up an entire conversation. Your reply to the question references places fellow Southerners grew up in/know. I often relate my family not with place names (beyond country/state) but with regional frameworks. I'd say that my parents grew up in rural villages and traveled to America for various reasons. If they want experiences/stories I'd happily dive in. My most of my friends who are first/second generation American don't mind talking about the details about their family. They'll relate to being in a particular village with a nasty auntie, or the hot summers their family endured or how they're with an uncle in this city but their mother is still in X country because of Z.
It's really just when the question transforms into an insincere one that seeks to only place an "other" label on an individual that it gets very tiring. I find that most people don't give a damn where my family is from or how they got here. I usually try to answer in a way that allows people who are interested about my family to ask questions. Most of my friends answer typically, so I think changing the nature of your question from something very commonplace to something a bit more specific will communicate better.