I think it's more the casual manifestations of ignorance/privilege etc. in a text about something else
I think sometimes it's both. I've seen kerfluffles rise and fall due to asking a question that on the face, looks like wanting to learn, but in the asking (or the phrasing, or the attempts at self-answering) reveals major privilege. It's hard to give the benefit of the doubt in those incidents, admittedly. One may think, "ah, this person wants to learn!" and another may think, "this person already has his/her answer, and is just asking the question to appear open-minded."
This is the pattern, btw, if you're not sure what I mean: "Why does ___ always/only ___? Is it because ___ are too ____, or is it something else?" For instance, "why do fanfiction writers only write porn? Is it because they're not creative at all, or something else?" Or, "why do feminists hate men? Is it because they're ugly, or is it something else?"
It's awfully hard to see that "something else" without seeing the first part as incredibly offensive, even if the person really is repeating wisdom they've never previously questioned. They may even have posited as something unquestioned, as in "my parents always said that... but is that really it?" which sometimes strikes me as a little disingenuous, like you're trying to get the offensive digs in there without coming right out and claiming it as your own. Oh, you were just tossing off suggestions!
And I'm hardly innocent, seeing how I toss off suggestions all the time, sometimes because I'm in the early stages of questioning and sometimes to have the list to work my way down to discount each, and sometimes as advance attack of a devil's advocate move. But then, that amounts to knowing what I'm doing and doing it on purpose, as opposed to, "oh, you're offended? I had no idea! Really!"
ANYWAY. See the way I derail myself? Isn't that nifty? *stabself*
Maybe a lot of wank could be averted if the OP is able to look at what the criticism entails rather than at the tone of voice.
Heh. That whole tone of voice thing is very much a way to distract from having to deal with the criticism, though. It's a defensive maneuver, and it's right up there with, "You started your argument by saying your friend's car was blue, but it wasn't blue, it was red, so everything else you said is also false!" But sometimes it's also just hard to separate anger-with-post and anger-with-person. It's hard to keep giving a commenter the benefit of the doubt when you also suspect that they'd punch you in the face if they met you in person... then you feel as though you need to defend yourself, and what better way than to find a loophole to dismiss their comments, no matter how valid you may know them to be? Validating their comments means validating their righteous fury (read: possibly hatred) against you as a person.
I think that's one of the toughest parts in such debates, and damn, what I know now... makes me really, really glad I didn't go into the doctoral program on conflict resolution, after all. I probably would've been an abject failure, given how much I hate raised voices and fists. Sheesh.
no subject
Date: 22 Feb 2011 09:42 pm (UTC)I think sometimes it's both. I've seen kerfluffles rise and fall due to asking a question that on the face, looks like wanting to learn, but in the asking (or the phrasing, or the attempts at self-answering) reveals major privilege. It's hard to give the benefit of the doubt in those incidents, admittedly. One may think, "ah, this person wants to learn!" and another may think, "this person already has his/her answer, and is just asking the question to appear open-minded."
This is the pattern, btw, if you're not sure what I mean: "Why does ___ always/only ___? Is it because ___ are too ____, or is it something else?" For instance, "why do fanfiction writers only write porn? Is it because they're not creative at all, or something else?" Or, "why do feminists hate men? Is it because they're ugly, or is it something else?"
It's awfully hard to see that "something else" without seeing the first part as incredibly offensive, even if the person really is repeating wisdom they've never previously questioned. They may even have posited as something unquestioned, as in "my parents always said that... but is that really it?" which sometimes strikes me as a little disingenuous, like you're trying to get the offensive digs in there without coming right out and claiming it as your own. Oh, you were just tossing off suggestions!
And I'm hardly innocent, seeing how I toss off suggestions all the time, sometimes because I'm in the early stages of questioning and sometimes to have the list to work my way down to discount each, and sometimes as advance attack of a devil's advocate move. But then, that amounts to knowing what I'm doing and doing it on purpose, as opposed to, "oh, you're offended? I had no idea! Really!"
ANYWAY. See the way I derail myself? Isn't that nifty? *stabself*
Maybe a lot of wank could be averted if the OP is able to look at what the criticism entails rather than at the tone of voice.
Heh. That whole tone of voice thing is very much a way to distract from having to deal with the criticism, though. It's a defensive maneuver, and it's right up there with, "You started your argument by saying your friend's car was blue, but it wasn't blue, it was red, so everything else you said is also false!" But sometimes it's also just hard to separate anger-with-post and anger-with-person. It's hard to keep giving a commenter the benefit of the doubt when you also suspect that they'd punch you in the face if they met you in person... then you feel as though you need to defend yourself, and what better way than to find a loophole to dismiss their comments, no matter how valid you may know them to be? Validating their comments means validating their righteous fury (read: possibly hatred) against you as a person.
I think that's one of the toughest parts in such debates, and damn, what I know now... makes me really, really glad I didn't go into the doctoral program on conflict resolution, after all. I probably would've been an abject failure, given how much I hate raised voices and fists. Sheesh.