I don't think I have a comprehension of 'internet age' sometimes, so no fear. Besides, any discussion I have, I'll always come back around to, eventually. There's always more to consider, a better way to look at things, or just a different way that might shed light on previous ways.
Though you're right about unable to control the dosage on the internetz, I was thinking more in terms of each individual reply. Twenty people expressing anger but tempered with hope that I'll learn don't do half the damage of two people excoriating me, and those extreme burns... well, they say once burned, twice shy, eh?
Perhaps it's the 'me-too' aspect of the internets, that if someone posts/replies, it's the next twenty people who have nothing to add but just want to pile on their agreement. Somehow, sometimes, that makes the burn much worse. Not because it's not justified, but maybe I've just gotten to a point in my life where I fail to see use, sometimes, in hurting a person so deeply they entrench rather than engage.
Which means that for me, personally, I tend to stay out of certain conversations once I know someone else has already covered what I would've said -- but it also means the fastest way to annoy me in a post-discussion is to repeat what's already been said in the same post, and resolved (or resolved as unresolved). Then I wish for some kind of stamp that says, "see this other thread." Because that feels less like a person wanting to discuss the topic for itself -- in which case, the resolution would suffice, no? -- and more like, wanting to be validated, and the fact that they're repeating (and wasting everyone's time) isn't half as important as their validation.
Validation has its place and value, but I guess sometimes I resent being made to feel like I'm obligated to validate someone's (repetition of a) perspective. Which is completely off-the-rails from the topic, err, what I recall of it, and probably best saved as meat for some other post.
When I really want to stir up the flames, that is... and right now, I have some kitchen drawers I need to refinish, so any flame-stirring posts will need to wait!
no subject
Date: 22 Feb 2011 09:28 pm (UTC)Though you're right about unable to control the dosage on the internetz, I was thinking more in terms of each individual reply. Twenty people expressing anger but tempered with hope that I'll learn don't do half the damage of two people excoriating me, and those extreme burns... well, they say once burned, twice shy, eh?
Perhaps it's the 'me-too' aspect of the internets, that if someone posts/replies, it's the next twenty people who have nothing to add but just want to pile on their agreement. Somehow, sometimes, that makes the burn much worse. Not because it's not justified, but maybe I've just gotten to a point in my life where I fail to see use, sometimes, in hurting a person so deeply they entrench rather than engage.
Which means that for me, personally, I tend to stay out of certain conversations once I know someone else has already covered what I would've said -- but it also means the fastest way to annoy me in a post-discussion is to repeat what's already been said in the same post, and resolved (or resolved as unresolved). Then I wish for some kind of stamp that says, "see this other thread." Because that feels less like a person wanting to discuss the topic for itself -- in which case, the resolution would suffice, no? -- and more like, wanting to be validated, and the fact that they're repeating (and wasting everyone's time) isn't half as important as their validation.
Validation has its place and value, but I guess sometimes I resent being made to feel like I'm obligated to validate someone's (repetition of a) perspective. Which is completely off-the-rails from the topic, err, what I recall of it, and probably best saved as meat for some other post.
When I really want to stir up the flames, that is... and right now, I have some kitchen drawers I need to refinish, so any flame-stirring posts will need to wait!