Yeah, I do edit. (Sorry, and I don't mean that facetiously -- but I tend to write a lot in the first go-round, and then realize that I probably didn't need a hundred words to say that, so I find a better way to put it. It's not a matter of "I don't want to discuss this" but "the way I presented might've been creating a problem unintentionally, so if I put it more concisely, then that's possibly half the battle at least insofar as not making it harder on myself by confusing myself and everyone else with a hundred more words than needed".)
What you're characterizing as "covering up rather than engaging" is would be more accurately called: "okay, I guess what I meant to say didn't make sense to you, so maybe I should put that differently so my point is clearer". Haven't you ever had a conversation where you've said, "wait, I don't think you understood what I meant, let me put it this way, instead"? When you finish your redo attempt and the person understands, that doesn't mean you changed your opinion or you're backpedalling or "covering up rather than engaging". It just means you found a better way to put the same points you'd believed all along.
It means your first communication didn't work, but your second did.
That's the way I've approached this conversation, but you seem to be determined to convince me that (a) I believe something completely opposite of what I do really believe, and that (b) my attempts to clarify are tantamount to lying about my position. You may be angry about what you think you read, but I'm just plain hurt at the way you're insisting on vilifying me -- and then getting mad at me for not defending a position that wasn't even the position I was arguing for in the first place! If you can't give me the benefit of the doubt at some point here that I'm not being malicious nor devious, then I'm not sure what else I can do.
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Date: 25 Oct 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)What you're characterizing as "covering up rather than engaging" is would be more accurately called: "okay, I guess what I meant to say didn't make sense to you, so maybe I should put that differently so my point is clearer". Haven't you ever had a conversation where you've said, "wait, I don't think you understood what I meant, let me put it this way, instead"? When you finish your redo attempt and the person understands, that doesn't mean you changed your opinion or you're backpedalling or "covering up rather than engaging". It just means you found a better way to put the same points you'd believed all along.
It means your first communication didn't work, but your second did.
That's the way I've approached this conversation, but you seem to be determined to convince me that (a) I believe something completely opposite of what I do really believe, and that (b) my attempts to clarify are tantamount to lying about my position. You may be angry about what you think you read, but I'm just plain hurt at the way you're insisting on vilifying me -- and then getting mad at me for not defending a position that wasn't even the position I was arguing for in the first place! If you can't give me the benefit of the doubt at some point here that I'm not being malicious nor devious, then I'm not sure what else I can do.