oh, bitch, please.
26 Aug 2006 02:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaigouKnow what? I'm sick of worrying about whether someone dislikes me for speaking my mind. You're either going to like what I've written, in which case you possibly don't care what I think about jack, or you already dislike what I've written and I'm sure as hell not going to waste your time or mine trying to change your mind. So! I write, and let the cards fall as they may, because I'm enjoying myself.
Therefore! Gotta say this: when an author reports she's been "flamed and shocked and shaken enough for one night," it just makes me laugh, and suddenly my mood is completely improved (which isn't to say it was ever that bad in the first place, this evening). You poor child, how beset-upon you are for trying to be a rebel! And then you got flamed. Right! You wish!
Here, let me counts the ways that one should not rebel, not just because it's wrong but because it makes your fic unreadable.
Name your story's location? Sure. Just don't change it randomly. Pick a spelling and stick with it. It's NOT THAT HARD.
If you can't figure out 24-hour time, don't frickin' use it. You just reveal your ignorance, but it does lend some much-needed humor to your story, however unintentionally. Look! They're travelling backwards through time!
When the competition's directions say, "please do not post the story publically prior to submitting it," on what planet does an elist with over a thousand subscribers (1458 to be exact) NOT count as public? Please, tell me the fic gods are paying attention and will boot her ass pronto when she submits. Everyone else reads and gets the rules. It's not rocket science.
Also, when the author asks for readers to point out grammar mistakes, I can't be the only one tempted to write back and say, "how's about this: forget the grammar, your spelling SUCKS." I'll help you if you make some basic effort to help yourself, too, you useless lazy ass. Check your spelling, check your grammar, and THEN ask for help. It's annoying to have you assume that random readers would be pleased to list every mistake. If I did that, it'd take me an hour.
It might take me longer, because I'd be laughing so hard. I mean, really: heroin and heroine, am I the only one having visions of Relena being mainlined?
(Those repeated sad errors were the actual reason I even read anything by the author originally; I simply assumed she couldn't spell, felt sorry for her, and slogged on through the story, because, hey, yes, I did assume maybe English was a second language and we should all help out those less fortunate in their linguistic skills.)
After all, when you get two obvious spelling mistakes in a summary paragraph and the story's not even started, it's just...sad. I'd go into a list of the funnier stupid mispellings -- and we're not talking spellchecker homonym mistakes but genuine mispellings -- but it's too painful to even think about her fannish characterizations, retreaded plot lines, flat dialogue, and mediocre, cursory, description.
Although what's particularly sad is when an author posts a fic with such repetitive, horrendous, eye-bleeding mistakes and then claims to be an English major. Man, I really feel for that girl's professors, or maybe I feel for the university that pays them while under the mistaken impression they're capable of teaching, because it sure doesn't seem to have taken with the author in question.
See, now, that's the start of a decent flame.
*snorts*
Oh! Oh! I got told "good night!" Excuse me while I take a moment to compose myself. This is way too amusing. It's like poking an armadillo with a stick, if that armadillo had pretensions of being a porcupine. It's a whole lot of shaking and posturing amounting to nothing. See me quake in fear! I got told!
Hey, so I'm easily amused.
Therefore! Gotta say this: when an author reports she's been "flamed and shocked and shaken enough for one night," it just makes me laugh, and suddenly my mood is completely improved (which isn't to say it was ever that bad in the first place, this evening). You poor child, how beset-upon you are for trying to be a rebel! And then you got flamed. Right! You wish!
Here, let me counts the ways that one should not rebel, not just because it's wrong but because it makes your fic unreadable.
Name your story's location? Sure. Just don't change it randomly. Pick a spelling and stick with it. It's NOT THAT HARD.
If you can't figure out 24-hour time, don't frickin' use it. You just reveal your ignorance, but it does lend some much-needed humor to your story, however unintentionally. Look! They're travelling backwards through time!
When the competition's directions say, "please do not post the story publically prior to submitting it," on what planet does an elist with over a thousand subscribers (1458 to be exact) NOT count as public? Please, tell me the fic gods are paying attention and will boot her ass pronto when she submits. Everyone else reads and gets the rules. It's not rocket science.
Also, when the author asks for readers to point out grammar mistakes, I can't be the only one tempted to write back and say, "how's about this: forget the grammar, your spelling SUCKS." I'll help you if you make some basic effort to help yourself, too, you useless lazy ass. Check your spelling, check your grammar, and THEN ask for help. It's annoying to have you assume that random readers would be pleased to list every mistake. If I did that, it'd take me an hour.
It might take me longer, because I'd be laughing so hard. I mean, really: heroin and heroine, am I the only one having visions of Relena being mainlined?
(Those repeated sad errors were the actual reason I even read anything by the author originally; I simply assumed she couldn't spell, felt sorry for her, and slogged on through the story, because, hey, yes, I did assume maybe English was a second language and we should all help out those less fortunate in their linguistic skills.)
After all, when you get two obvious spelling mistakes in a summary paragraph and the story's not even started, it's just...sad. I'd go into a list of the funnier stupid mispellings -- and we're not talking spellchecker homonym mistakes but genuine mispellings -- but it's too painful to even think about her fannish characterizations, retreaded plot lines, flat dialogue, and mediocre, cursory, description.
Although what's particularly sad is when an author posts a fic with such repetitive, horrendous, eye-bleeding mistakes and then claims to be an English major. Man, I really feel for that girl's professors, or maybe I feel for the university that pays them while under the mistaken impression they're capable of teaching, because it sure doesn't seem to have taken with the author in question.
See, now, that's the start of a decent flame.
*snorts*
Oh! Oh! I got told "good night!" Excuse me while I take a moment to compose myself. This is way too amusing. It's like poking an armadillo with a stick, if that armadillo had pretensions of being a porcupine. It's a whole lot of shaking and posturing amounting to nothing. See me quake in fear! I got told!
Hey, so I'm easily amused.
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no subject
Date: 27 Aug 2006 01:51 am (UTC)rotflmao!!
no subject
Date: 27 Aug 2006 02:55 am (UTC)