Hm. I come from it from a totally different angle, so I'm not sure what I have to say can be meaningful about what you're talking about. But here's how it is for me.
Sex can be sacred. (In fact, in my religion it is.) Rape (whether it's done to women, children, or men) is not sex. (And yes, I realize that's a whole 'nuther discussion). But to me, rape is about violence and power over, and not about overwhelming desire to put cock in cunt.
Sex (for me, and most of my friends) is about love, and sharing, and power within.
However, in my world (and I mean in the social circles I travel in), words like "slut" and "whore" are compliments. (Though I admit, "whore" is usually phrased as "sacred whore".) Being good at sex is prized and praised.
I've had sex with love, and I've had sex without love, and I prefer to have sex and love together. It feels better (to me) and makes for better memories. On top of all that, just because I'm married doesn't mean that my sexual life begins and ends with my husband. We're poly, so sex is not something that either of us owns with the other, any more than laughter is. (Can you even imagine wedding vows that ask you to forsake laughing with all others, and only laughing with this one person for the rest of your life? Weird.)
I've had fun sex and sacred sex. I enjoy both, but sacred sex is a lot more exhausting than fun sex, while fun sex is more, well, fun.
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Date: 3 Dec 2005 07:54 am (UTC)Sex can be sacred. (In fact, in my religion it is.) Rape (whether it's done to women, children, or men) is not sex. (And yes, I realize that's a whole 'nuther discussion). But to me, rape is about violence and power over, and not about overwhelming desire to put cock in cunt.
Sex (for me, and most of my friends) is about love, and sharing, and power within.
However, in my world (and I mean in the social circles I travel in), words like "slut" and "whore" are compliments. (Though I admit, "whore" is usually phrased as "sacred whore".) Being good at sex is prized and praised.
I've had sex with love, and I've had sex without love, and I prefer to have sex and love together. It feels better (to me) and makes for better memories. On top of all that, just because I'm married doesn't mean that my sexual life begins and ends with my husband. We're poly, so sex is not something that either of us owns with the other, any more than laughter is. (Can you even imagine wedding vows that ask you to forsake laughing with all others, and only laughing with this one person for the rest of your life? Weird.)
I've had fun sex and sacred sex. I enjoy both, but sacred sex is a lot more exhausting than fun sex, while fun sex is more, well, fun.