Thing is, I really dislike it when someone assumes that because I have strong opinions now that I'm inflexible or unwilling to question my position. I only got here by questioning, damn it, because I was fed the same line as everyone else (with the possible exception being from my mother and grandmother, who were both pretty much like, "it's your body, do what you want, be safe, and if you don't like what's happening, tell the guy to stop, and then walk away.") But the rest of the world? Ohhh, losing your virginity is this Massive Step and So Important and You'll Always Treasure The Moment.
Bullshit. I can barely remember when I lost my virginity, and what I do remember was that it was both unremarkable and some pretty pathetic sex. Making it into a huge production, and then finding out it was, well, just sex, was part of what made me question so much of what I'd been taught.
The pity is how many women I've known over the years who had mediocre sex their first time, figured that having Teh Sex = Being In Wuv, and wrote off "really amazing sex" as something only Wicked Women could get, or that would only happen if they ever had an affair.
Or maybe that's just the woman's version of the man's wish for slut in the bedroom and virgin in the kitchen -- that sex with the husband can be mediocre, and you just get to spend your life making annoyed sideways glances at your friends who rattle the windows when they have sex.
no subject
Date: 3 Dec 2005 05:31 am (UTC)Bullshit. I can barely remember when I lost my virginity, and what I do remember was that it was both unremarkable and some pretty pathetic sex. Making it into a huge production, and then finding out it was, well, just sex, was part of what made me question so much of what I'd been taught.
The pity is how many women I've known over the years who had mediocre sex their first time, figured that having Teh Sex = Being In Wuv, and wrote off "really amazing sex" as something only Wicked Women could get, or that would only happen if they ever had an affair.
Or maybe that's just the woman's version of the man's wish for slut in the bedroom and virgin in the kitchen -- that sex with the husband can be mediocre, and you just get to spend your life making annoyed sideways glances at your friends who rattle the windows when they have sex.